My Mum Has Depression And I Want To Help Her

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by J-CAT, Jun 16, 2019.

  1. J-CAT

    J-CAT Fapstronaut

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    Hello my brothers and sisters on NOFAP,

    For the past few months, my mum has had serious depression. She is no longer the person that she was for the majority of the twenty-one years of my life. Before she was a happy, energetic and supportive mum. Now she spends most of her time in the house, she quit her job and because of family drama, no longer sees many people that she used to spend time with. It was made worse by me being away during this difficult time. I was on a study abroad programme for almost a year. Whilst I was away we would speak regularly on the phone and I knew from what she told me that her mental health was getting worse.

    Now I'm back home and my mum's energy is very low and she is expressing some very negative behaviours. She struggles to look me, my brother, and my dad straight in the eye and just this morning she was crying and then laughing uncontrollably for no reason. I want to help her. No matter how she is, I will be here for her. That is my duty as a son and as someone who loves her.

    We've spoken many times about how she's feeling but she pretends like everything's fine. Indeed, there is some hope, she can get herself out of the bed in the morning and still has the energy to go out with us when we go to the shopping centre etc.

    What can I do to make her better? Please share any tips or suggestions that you might have.

    Thank you.
     
  2. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

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    It sounds like she needs professional help. Does she see a psychologist or a therapist? If not, that'd be a good place to start. However, it may be hard to convince her to go to one.
     
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  3. drac16

    drac16 Fapstronaut

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    Have you gotten her to see a doctor about this? I want to help, but there's only so much I can do. I don't have the qualifications that a doctor has, so I can't make a firm diagnosis on what it is that's bothering your mom. Ask a doctor about Effexor-- that's what I take and it has helped me a bit. I don't know if that's what is right for your mom, though. Moreover, perhaps you should look into getting your mom into CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). CBT can help, but it's only going to help if one wants to be involved in it. You cannot make her go.

    I will pray for your mom. May the Lord heal her of what is bothering her.
     
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  4. EXPONENTIALLY

    EXPONENTIALLY Fapstronaut

    Send her recovery cards, flowers, cook her some special meals, on a weekly basis. Tell her the bloody good news of God's GRACE. Be kind. Patient. I don't know.

    I mean, what do you expect from a forum of anonymous perverts lol
     
  5. Even if she does go to professional counseling make sure to communicate with her each day.

    Tell her regularly that you love her. Thank her for specific things she’s done for you over the years. Let her know you care about her, that she is important to you.

    (Don’t bring up ANYTHING negative from the past or present)

    Do things for her that she likes. My mom appreciates the work I do at the house she and my dad still live in. Maybe do some house work for her. Or maybe take her someplace she likes. In other words, perform some sort of action out of love and concern for her.

    Here’s another one you might try, write her a note that says what you feel about her as your mother. It’s something she can keep and look at.

    *****This one is a biggie*****

    There’s a suggestion an older friend of mine (who didn’t know my mom at all) suggested when I asked about how I can try to start a better relationship with my mother and it was surprising to me how much my mother loved it.

    -Pay for professional family pictures with just you and both your parents. My mother really really appreciated it. Honestly I don’t know why. That old man that gave me the suggestion obviously knew something I still don’t know!

    She still has those picture up in the living room. I think I look like shit in those pictures but she loves them.

    So anyhow, say things and do things to show you love her.

    And once again, I’d refrain from giving advice to her. You don’t want to appear to be a nag and end up with her not wanting you around. Be a good listener and show her you love her.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 17, 2019
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  6. I was just thinking. I am not suggesting in anyway that your relationship with your mother is bad. The family picture thing for me was done because I had a bad relationship and wanted to start work on making things better.

    But it can be used for other situations as well.

    Once again, it was a huge surprise to me how much my mom loved having those picture done. She was very encouraged and our relationship has gotten better and better.

    Might want to try it to encourage your mother.
     

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