Ghost Rider Ketch
Fapstronaut
It feels weird/shameful to me, admitting such a thing.
Background:
Grew up in the South, only child. Two parents and as I got older, a lot more time to myself...which led me to porn. Started at around 16, the usual stuff and it remained that way for a long time. I'm in my early 40's and now I find my tastes have been getting closer and closer to 'extremes'.
It used to be a simple nude woman/women would be sufficient. But alas, in recent years the brain grows tired and seeks more. It ventured towards more fetish areas like bdsm, then forced roleplay...the breaking point was that I soon realized I was watching k9...and manipulating myself to it.
I've never admitted that to ANYONE, not even (or especially) my wife.
With the fear of my depravities getting worse (maybe not, but I don't want to test that theory), I realized I needed help. I talked to my wife and confessed (though she knew, having caught me jerking a couple times to porn) that I have an addiction. I said I wanted help and I wanted to see a group once a week. She flipped her lid, said that those people usually cheat on their spouses and anyone can quit porn with no problems.
Took all my resolve not to yell.
So now I'm hurt, scared, confused, and worried. No one takes me seriously when I tell them I have this problem, and that I want to stop it (or at least curb it). I realize that masturbation is a natural thing, but when you do it 2-4 times a day...then the problem is getting out of hand (no pun intended).
There's a lot of factors, I suppose, that go into this. Didn't have sex until mid 30s, wife usually unavailable (traumatic early experiences), but it boils down to me.
My 'name' is Ghost Rider Ketch, and this is my story. Thank you for listening.
Background:
Grew up in the South, only child. Two parents and as I got older, a lot more time to myself...which led me to porn. Started at around 16, the usual stuff and it remained that way for a long time. I'm in my early 40's and now I find my tastes have been getting closer and closer to 'extremes'.
It used to be a simple nude woman/women would be sufficient. But alas, in recent years the brain grows tired and seeks more. It ventured towards more fetish areas like bdsm, then forced roleplay...the breaking point was that I soon realized I was watching k9...and manipulating myself to it.
I've never admitted that to ANYONE, not even (or especially) my wife.
With the fear of my depravities getting worse (maybe not, but I don't want to test that theory), I realized I needed help. I talked to my wife and confessed (though she knew, having caught me jerking a couple times to porn) that I have an addiction. I said I wanted help and I wanted to see a group once a week. She flipped her lid, said that those people usually cheat on their spouses and anyone can quit porn with no problems.
Took all my resolve not to yell.
So now I'm hurt, scared, confused, and worried. No one takes me seriously when I tell them I have this problem, and that I want to stop it (or at least curb it). I realize that masturbation is a natural thing, but when you do it 2-4 times a day...then the problem is getting out of hand (no pun intended).
There's a lot of factors, I suppose, that go into this. Didn't have sex until mid 30s, wife usually unavailable (traumatic early experiences), but it boils down to me.
My 'name' is Ghost Rider Ketch, and this is my story. Thank you for listening.
