My new beginning

Hello

I am a 30 year old male from Port Elizabeth, South Africa.

I have been struggling with porn addiction for as long as I can remember, it started as my crutch to deal with being gay and daily bullying in school.
As time went by I eventually gave up fighting my porn addiction - (my only reason to stop was my beliefs and that it was wrong to watch porn).
If I look back now on my relationships, I now understand why I have had the problems I had.
I finally met the man of my dreams, the man I want to spend my life with and after 2 years of dating, my porn addiction has caught up on me and completely ruined my relationship. We are hanging on by a thread and I want to fix this problem. I don't want to lose him.
I'm wanting to do a hard reboot of 3 months with a hope and a prayer that I can reverse the damage caused to not only myself but to the man I want to marry.
I technically started yesterday, I haven't watched anything pornographic or masterbated.
I hope that I can find myself and save my relationship. It's really, honestly, my goal in all this. I want a normal relationship with my soul mate.

 

Thank you so much for the response and the resources, I am 100% dedicated to this and really want to fix myself and my relationship.
If I've learnt anything in the last 24 hours, it's been a very repetitive problem, blaming each other, (me looking for excuses) and it's a cycle I want to and need to break.
I am serious and I will defeat this.
Keep well.

 

Thanks so much for the words of encouragement, I have really zoomed out on my life and have realized I am a very ugly person due to my addiction.
I am so moved by my actions that I almost want to jump the gun and be at the already cured point. Not that I want to skip the process, I'm just excited about a better life. Becoming a better person.