My New Big Decision

Hi All!

Just wanted to Share my own Story w you.

Its been a really long time actually, Since i was just a kid and I don't even know how I learnt about M, and I was really good at hiding, So i never got any advice from friends n family.

Then, I grew up, and i understood what the hell i had been doing, and I did try to get rid of it, But unfortunatly it was my puberty time and I couldnt get myself together, and also I had just found out about porn which made it harder to reboot. Then, I managed to find some guys called "Experts" that believed its a healthy behaviour.

Personally, I never really Wanted to do it, I never did it every day or several times in a day, It has just bacame some kind of a drug to me. To distract me from reality. Mostly done because i didnt want to cry or cut myself in my hard periods of life.

So Since The time i understood what it meant and what it really is, I wanted to quit. And I started counting my sober days but actually I never managed to stick to it more than 10 days or something. Sth shitty happened and I didnt know how to control my feeling or what to do when Im feeling extremely angry or upset. And the funny thing is I even felt more down when it was over and I knew I have lost the fight again and that i have to start Over Again.

Gradually, it ruined my confidence. I felt like a Loser. Felt so weak. But most of the time, I felt numb. By 10 or 12 years addiction to PMO, I couldnt feel any happiness, enthusiasm or excitement. I couldn't Cry anymore. I mean its not really considered a nice thing to do, but I missed the relief youd feel after a hard cry. I've actually forgotten how it feels like to be deeply happy or sad or relieved.

I don't know who those so called experts were, and why Did they label it as a Healthy Normal Behaviour, But I know one thing; Its not. Dont ever believe it. It doesn't Only Ruin your confidence, your self esteem, your self worth or your relationships, it'll ruin your whole life as a Human. Like what it did to me. I was forgetting what it means to feel, what it means to be truly loved, or how much our big beautiful world has to contribute. Everything seemed so dark when I got myself busy and distracted with it all the time.

As I grew up, it began to get easier to quit. This time, I really feel better about myself and I feel stronger urges to get rid of it. And Im more hopefull that i win this time. And I really hope that one day, no one even knows what Porn industry Or M means.

P.S: So Happy to be in the community!! ^-^

 

Greatful for the spirit and the guide, ThnX!

 

Damn Man Thank You! Feelin So Supported^-^

 

Thanx for the good vibes! ^-^
Hope we all get rid of this shit someday..
And congrats on your 2 weeks streak!
GL!