My *new* self-improvement goals and log

Hey all - I just started a list of goals for myself that I plan to start following to help keep myself accountable and living the best life possible. I will be updating/inputting logs each night with a list of what I did or did not follow that day. I am keeping the journal on my PC but I will be posting updates on here as well so there are others that can look at it and help keep me accountable or maybe it will help or inspire ideas for others.
Anyway, here it is, copied and pasted from my PC:

CURRENT GOALS:
No more junk food on a daily basis (No more buying donuts, cakes, cookies, etc. from stores - only allowed are homemade baked
goods on occasion when Gramma or Mom makes them such as Peach Cobbler or Oatmeal Raisin Cookies, etc.)
Delete Facebook and Youtube App from phone - can access them on laptop, anyway. Don't spend much time on them - only allowed to
check social media in the evenings.
In bed + asleep before midnight every night.
Wake up + get out of bed by at least 8am every morning.
No more overeating, no more undereating. Drink at least *3* full bottles of water from my water bottle a day.
Allowed to play BTD6 *ONLY* in evenings after writing has been done and parents are listening to loud music. (btd6 is a video game I sometimes play too much)
Write at least 1,000 words a day - no matter what! (Which is only a couple of pages - if cannot add to main stories in 1k words, freewrite)
NO PMO AT ALL WHATSOEVER. (No Porn, No Masturbation, No Orgasm - as of now, 32 days porn free, 0 days M. free)
Spend at least fifteen minutes either reading bible, reading devotional, praying, or combination of those things per day.
NO phone in the bathroom.
At least ONCE a week (1 day), go for a jog/run outside (yes, even in the snow) to the train tracks and back. (roughly 1.5 miles round trip)
At least TWICE a week (2 days), use pull up bar and do a total of at least 60 combined chin-ups / pull-ups each session.
At least ONCE a week (1 day), do at least 100 push-ups, in one session or divided in different sets/reps.

12/16/20

-

12/16/20
9:17 AM

Ate an egg sandwich (egg, cheese, bagel) and had couple cups of coffee. Starting this self improvement log to help keep myself on track
and accountable. I am so fed up with how I have been living my life and I am sick of all of the negative thoughts and emotions and
depression and time I waste on social media and how useless and unhealthy I am. I will try to write a log for each day, possibly once in
the morning and one at night - but if not always in the morning I will try to input a log for sure in the evening recounting the events of
the day to see if I followed my personal goals or not.

9:53 PM

Ate an egg over toast, waffle, and banana for lunch - just got done eating a couple of tortillas with nacho chips, beans and cheese for a late dinner.
Did my 1.5 mile run today and 50 pull-ups / chin-ups. Played BTD6 for about 45 minutes. Deleted Facebook from my phone, but spent
probably 15 or so minutes on it on my laptop.
Going to lower my fitness numbers a little bit. New requirements are 50 pullups / chinups instead of 60, and 75 pushups instead of 100.
(not as good of shape I used to be, starting out a little easier for now)
Drank plenty of water today. Went past my required writing. (Wrote est. 2,000 words on my story I'm working on)
And of course no PMO today so I'd say it was a pretty good day

 

12/17/20
6:37 PM

Had oatmeal and a plain bagel for breakfast w/ coffee. PB&J for lunch and a homemade pizza for dinner with veggies for toppings.
Drinking (one) beer right now.
Did my 15 minutes bible time / study this morning.
Did 75 pushups today.
Wrote about 3,000 words today.
All else is good. No PMO.
Currently 34 days P. free and only 2 days M. free.

 

Thanks man, appreciate it! I'm getting pretty serious about living a better happier life. I'm done with all the bullshit, self-pity, and procrastination lol

 

12/18/20
7:06 PM

Had oatmeal for breakfast, tuna sandwich for lunch, and turkey and potatoes and veggies for dinner.
Wrote about 4,000 words today.
Played BTD6 for an hour and a half, roughly, and spent probably a little too much time browsing facebook today.
Did my quiet time / bible study earlier.
No PMO. Did come across a couple of psubs / suggestive images that were *slightly* triggering, but I kept scrolling / ignored them.

 

12/19/20
9:37 PM

Banana pancakes for breakfast - pb&J for lunch - pancakes again just now for dinner lol.
Wrote about 2,000 words today.
Did my bible study / prayer time.
No PMO.
Spent only about an hour on video games.
Exhausted. Long day at work.

 

12/20/20
6:06 PM

Egg sandwich for breakfast (homemade, as always) - turkey sandwich and mashed potatoes for lunch and a couple of homemade jelly cookies afterward - wasn't really hungry this afternoon/evening - just had a few chips with guac dip, and a banana. Nothing really for dinner and won't be eating anything else.
Did not write today (at least, work on my stories. Did write in my journals though). Wanted to take a short break as I finished a certain part on my story. Also I will probably not write tomorrow either as I'm starting work in the AM and won't be getting out until late evening.
Watched a sermon today by Charles Stanley (as opposed to a devotional or bible time)
Another hour on video games.
Was really tired today, didn't feel like doing anything (didn't sleep good last night, kept having weird dreams and waking up), but I ended up doing about 20 pullups/chinups.
Going to bed early tonight. Will probably read the rest of the night.
Probably spent 30 or so mins browsing Facebook today. Still working on cutting that time down even more. I have no desire or intention to waste any time on social media unless I have messages or notifications that need responding to. Otherwise, there's no point of me being on there.

 

12/21/20
7:56 PM

No writing again today - long day at work. Plan on working on my story again starting tomorrow.
Egg sandwich for breakfast - pb&j for lunch - homemade turkey pot pie for dinner
Again, didn't sleep the best last night for some reason. I'm going to bed earlier (around 10:30ish, usually) but I often wake up in the middle
of the night, sometimes multiple times, usually as a result of weird dreams, or sometimes I wake up having mild anxiety or stress.
I don't know the exact causes or reasons behind it - its weird.
No video games today. No fitness, either.
Did my quiet / study / prayer time.
Very little time on Facebook today.
Most of the day was spent at work.
No PMO.

 

12/22/20
9:47 PM

Wrote about 1,500 words today - just over my daily required limit. Having a little trouble getting back into the creative flow of my story. Also been tired lately and not been sleeping well. Forced myself to do 30 pull ups / chin-ups before work today.
Didn't spend as *much* prayer / study time today as I should have.
No video games. No PMO.
Oatmeal for breakfast - pot pie for early lunch before work - pb&j on break at work - and waffle and a couple homemade jelly cookies when I got out of work. Probably could have done without the cookies. Don't need all that sugar before I go to bed - maybe that's why I have trouble sleeping at night, or one of the reasons at least. (homemade cookies so not full of artifical flavors or junk but still not the healthiest)
I plan on writing more tomorrow if I can get into the flow of things. I was making really good progress and I would like to get a rough draft of my story done by next month before my class starts.
I'm also not beating myself up over not closely sticking with my fitness goals - I'm literally running around all day at work and burning calories lol
I am going to try to keep up with my goals the best I can though.
I haven't been spending as much time on Facebook so I'm improving there.

 

12/23/20
9:45 PM

Barely wrote 1,000 words today. Still been having trouble focusing and finding my creative flow.
I was up at like 5 am this morning and couldn't go back to sleep - just now getting out of work - long, exhausting day.
No PMO, no fitness - Did spend a decent amount of time praying and reading my bible though, half an hour at least.
Ate waffles for breakfast, turkey sandwich for lunch, pb&j at work on my one ten minute break, lol, and another turkey sandwich when I got home just now.
Tired, tired, and more tired is really I have to report for today. I did feel like I was productive at work though and did a good job. I've been focusing on having a better attitude at work and being more polite / helpful with customers and stuff.

 

My Entry from Yesterday:

12/24/20

7:21 PM

Starting January of the new year, I'm stopping this self-improvement log. I'm not stopping my goals or dedication to keep living a healthier better life, but I feel like the obligation to hop on my laptop every single night and write out a detailed summary of the days events is draining me a little bit.
I'm not giving up or anything, I'm just tired of the needless amount of focus on this and its sometimes just too inconvenient or time consuming.
Either way, I have naturally been following my goals pretty well; the ONLY one that I have not been following consistently are my fitness goals. I've been doing closer to 30 pull ups and chin ups per session instead of 50, and about 50-60 pushups per session instead of 75. I have also not ran/jogged outside at all lately because it is *extremely* cold out and has been snowing quite a bit. I told myself I was going to run even in the cold/snow, but now that seems to be a little excessive and unnecessary. Besides, I am basically running around at work all day, so I'm using that as an excuse for a substitute. I really don't want to freeze my arse off outside going for a jog and be trying to run through snow, lol.

Today I had 3 eggo waffles for breakfast. leftover turkey pot pie for lunch, and a turkey sandwich + mashed potatoes for dinner.
Also snacked on grapes through out the day.
No PMO.
No Fitness.
Wrote about 1,000 words. Currently in a creative dry spell and having a hard time writing.
Did sleep okay last night, a little better than the previous nights, anyway.


12/25/20
9:50 AM

Christmas Day is here, and it's just like any other day to me. Nothing special planned. Don't really celebrate the holiday. Don't really have any friends. Will probably have some kind of dinner later on with my parents and brother is all. Don't even know what they have planned though, or are cooking for dinner.
I had an egg sandwich this morning for breakfast and a Kombucha which is healthier than coffee. I'm actually taking a break from coffee, maybe even permanently. It makes me feel like crap sometimes.
Wrote about 500 words so far, but I will write more later on.

 

12/25/20
7:41 PM

Had some leftover refried beans with nacho chips and tortillas for lunch.
Ate a small portion of meatloaf for dinner.
Had two frozen eggo waffles just now for a snack / with a banana sliced on top. Not as good as homemade or pancakes but its there in the freezer (I dont buy them) and its quick and easy to pop one in the toaster lol.

No PMO; though did see a couple of suggestive things and had a couple of thoughts - turned away from them though.
No fitness today.
Still feeling like I may possibly be flatlining or something. Been in one of those moods lately. Just feel stuck in pity and despair.
Did end up writing a little bit more, about another 500 words or so.

 

12/26/20
10:41 AM

Feeling in a better mood today. God has revealed something to me. I am on the road to recovery. Praise Jesus.
This life is insanely hard with much difficulty, suffering and tribulation - but through HIM
we have the power to overcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Reference to all the exclamation points I use to use in my stories a long time ago when I was a kid, thinking it added emphasis)

Had two eggs with a little cheese on top for breakfast and a frozen waffle. (had a couple cups of coffee, too, even though I said I was taking a break from it.)
Did just a few pushups today, going to do a few more in a bit.
Plan on trying to write a little bit later. We'll see how it goes.

I DID have a wet dream last night and did M. right after - I awoke feeling still sleepy and foggy headed and the chaser effect / coupled with not being fully awake, not thinking straight led me to M.
Small setback there but I'm not letting it get me down to much.
I'm focusing on staying positive and controlling my thoughts instead of letting them control me! Amen

 

12/26/20
9:12 PM
Had a homemade pizza for late lunch / early supper. Was filling; only had some trail mix and a banana to snack on later.
Did 40 pushups today.
No P., though was tempted a little bit from my wet dream last night.
Wrote a little bit on one of my other stories (700-800 words or so).
Getting a clearer picture of how I want my main story to go and hoping to get back to writing it full time soon.

 

12/27/20
9:43 PM

Egg sandwich for breakfast - tuna and potatoes for lunch - pizza for late dinner, just getting out of work.
Didn't write too much today, around 600-700 words, but did a lot of note taking and outlining trying to figure out my story a little better to ease the writing process itself.
No fitness today. No PMO today; though did face a little bit of temptation.
Still feeling like I'm in a little bit of a slump - having a hard time concetrating, focusing.... I don't know if I'm in a flatline or not.

 

12/28/20
8:18 AM

Been up since 3:30 AM. Woke up super early, don't know why, couldn't go back to sleep, made some coffee, did some reading, and then wrote about 2,000 words over the last couple of hours which is pretty good, more than I've written in the last few days. Not sure I'm entirely out of my slump, but I am feeling a little bit better, more creative with my story than before.
Going to go eat breakfast now; plan on making blueberry - banana pancakes. Going to try to do some pushups or pullups a bit later today as well before work.
Also, today marks my 45th day sober from P. which I'm super excited for. Also reminding myself to not focus too much on the number of days / the streak, because I know am guilty of that.
On the other hand, I am only 2-3 days sober from M., so working on restarting my streak for that still.
As always, trying to hard-mode it, fully abstaining from PMO.

10:15 PM

Had waffle and homemade pancake for late night dinner / snack.
No PMO.
No fitness like I planned on doing.
Struggling to find a routine right now.

 

12/29/20
8:03 PM

Had an egg sandwich for breakfast - no lunch (wasnt that hungry + trying to cut back on food intake a little) - homemade meatball subs for dinner.
No coffee today, quitting it for good. It makes me feel like shit and fucks my stomach all up.
Drank black tea this morning instead. Not as much caffiene content but tastes good and is healthier.
Did 40 pushups today.
Only wrote about 800-900 words. Still in a slump / writers block type of thing.
No PMO, though did have some tempting thoughts. Saw a woman dressed in tight pants at the store today. I hate when women dress like that.

 

12/30/20
7:48 PM

Egg sandwich for breakfast. No lunch (late lunch / early dinner), which I had leftover meatball subs. Snacked on some donuts and homemade seven layer cake. I know. Not good.
No PMO today, though, I was feeling tempted earlier, and started to M., but thought to myself, "wtf am i doing", and stopped well before O.
No fitness today, and no writing. First time I didn't write at all today. Going to stop pressuring myself to write for a couple of days and see if maybe some of my creativity returns.
Also, still feel like I might be flatlining a little. Been feeling kind of down in the dumps lately and not really deriving any enjoyment from anything.

Slept good last night and the previous, about 7-8 hours which is good normally I have trouble sleeping and only get like 5-7 hours.

 

12/31/20
3:33 PM

Last entry in this thread. I will continue to keep private journals, but am not going to continue posting here.
I do feel like my life is improving a little and I have picked up on some better habits. Still struggling to keep some of my goals but I think that I have a better perception and mentality than I did before in regards to improving as a person in general. I don't think simply following goals or to do lists is the mark of improvement, or even necessarily founding a solid routine; but cultivating a lifestyle built around (in my case) my spiritual beliefs, and watching and controlling my thoughts, and maintaining a positive attitude, while also taking care of my body and health and not indulging in junk food just the same as I wouldn't want to indulge in PMO.
With that said, I am currently 48 days sober of P. and I think like 6 days sober from M.
Have been feeling some temptations a little over the last couple of days and today even, but I'm doing my best to stand strong and not give in to them.

As for health and routine, today I saw some improvements,
Waffles for breakfast with fruit
30 pull ups and chin ups
Meatball sub for lunch
Wrote about 3,000 words today which is the most I've written in over a week. (Still not 100% out of the woods from this writers block thing I have going on, but I feel like its getting better)
Feel happier today and not dwelling on negative thoughts.
Going back to work tomorrow and going to make the most of it. Trying to get the most out of every day.

Again, this is my last entry for this.
I'm going into the new year, 2021 - with a new perspective on life, new goals, and a new hope.
I have hope that I have an amazing future ahead of me and there are many blessings I have yet to receive. I have come a long way from where I am and I can't wait to see what 2021 holds in store.
God bless everyone who is reading this.