My NoFap birthday! 75 Days clean, and counting...becoming a better man.

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Sterkte, Mar 12, 2019.

  1. Sterkte

    Sterkte Fapstronaut

    It's been a year, I guess it's sort of my NoFap birthday if you will. Today I can't help but look back and remember where I was, and who I was when I first joined this site. I was just coming to terms with the fact that I have a pornography addiction; I remember how crazy it felt to even write that out the first time. I was struggling with suicidal thoughts, social anxiety, low self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence. I knew deep down that I was only living out a fraction of my potential, but I didn't seem to have the key to unlocking it. I was watching porn maybe 4-6 days/week, sometimes for hours upon hours, late into the night. I was so good at disconnecting myself from my porn usage that it didn't even feel like a part of the real me...even though I knew deep down that it was destructive. And after stumbling upon this forum I realized what a crutch porn was for me, and how I had been using it for years as an escape from all my problems, insecurities and fears.

    And so, I took the first step.

    I've accomplished so much over the past year. I never thought I'd make it past 30 days, and here I am at 75 days clean. I started my career, started my own business, gained over 20 lbs of muscle, played hockey at a higher level than I ever have, started to develop a sense of pride in myself, learned to assert myself, drastically reduced my social anxiety, developed mental clarity, refreshed the way I look at and interact with women, traveled to the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, and developed a sense of confidence. My whole life I've seen myself as being different than other people; as always being on the outside looking in, seeing all these admirable traits, but never feeling like I could develop them for myself. Yet, for the first time, I'm feeling at peace with who I am, and celebrate the ways that I differ from others. And the grand realization that everyone is different in their own way, and therefore I'm not so unlike everyone else. It took the removal of my secret, shameful second life as a porn user to realize this.
    I think the biggest thing is I'm feeling freer. I don't have a dirty secret anymore. I don't get nervous when people borrow my phone or my computer. And I feel like I have every reason to be proud in this incredible accomplishment.
    Not everything has been perfect, and there have been a lot of struggles along the way. And I definitely have more work to do. There is still a gap in my life...more space in the massive hole pornography left in it's wake that needs to be filled. And so, the fight continues. There is much work to be done. Much has been completed, yes, and for that I'm thankful. But I refuse to make the mistake of thinking that this is a project with an expiration date. Tomorrow is another day, with opportunities...both to fail, and to succeed. But I feel like I have the power to make right choices, choices to keep me on the path of success. So tomorrow I will decide to succeed. Even if that just means getting through the day without watching pornography, then so be it. But I know I'm capable of infinitely more than that, and I owe it to myself, and to my loved ones to reach for the stars. And if you happen to be reading this, you can accomplish all this and more...you may be skeptical of the so called "superpowers", or you may be experiencing them already. But I can PROMISE you, breaking free from this addiction will change your life forever, and for the better. Please, please, PLEASE do not give up. It is completely worth the pain and struggle, regardless of how long it takes. Even if you feel like you can't break free, and that this is an impossible undertaking: that is simply not true. We all have what it takes.
    Let's get this bread.

    -Sterkte


    P.S. Originally I was just going to write this in my journal, but I decided to share it as a success story, even though I intend to continue with my NoFap journey. I hope it can be a motivation to all who read it. If you have any questions, or need help with anything, please leave me a message or DM. Also want to give a shoutout to all those whole helped me at any point along the way so far.
    @BadrHar1 @FearMyDiscipline @Nadav_co @njones9 @emzzz @Truegamer007 and anyone else who has offered me support and encouragement along the way. I wouldn't be who I am without it, and I am eternally grateful.
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2019
  2. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut

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    Many congratulations mate.
    Nice to see this!
     
    Sterkte likes this.
  3. pornlessgeneral

    pornlessgeneral Fapstronaut

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    I quit porn 4 months ago and never again watched pornography and masturbated on it. However, unfortunately I masturbated without porn and sometimes I even watched porn pictures and did masturbate. I think this counts as a relapse.

    However, I still have felt improvement in my life. My energy levels are much higher. My eye sight has improved a lot. My social anxiety decreased.

    Thank you for your story. I am glad you enjoy your life, play sport and have already some great achievements like starting a business.

    I had started to think that life is boring and you cannot do much and enjoy much. But there are many opportunities and a hobby is a great way to start.

    Porn and masturbation consumes our energy and life force and we start to think we cannot enjoy much and we feel bored with life.
     
    Ogikubo and Sterkte like this.
  4. a_muslim_seeking_recovery

    a_muslim_seeking_recovery Fapstronaut

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    I find my case very similar to yours. Sometimes I spend MONTHS without PMO, but like once every week, I look at a few images, quickly realize what shit I'm getting myself into, and fallback instantly... I am working on it right now, and I found solutions to such situations, like getting up, completely washing my private areas and changing my underwear, then I perform Islamic Wudu and do a quick prayer.

    it usually kills it off, but I'm struggling with ACTUALLY getting myself up. For me, it's the most difficult part, because my body REALLY wants the satisfaction, while my brain REALLY despises it, so I often find myself in a bit of a stalemate, where I am in a stand-by mode scrolling Twitter or Discord while not doing anything really...

    I wish you all good luck with your addictions!
     
    D. Jigen and Sterkte like this.
  5. Captain Anurag

    Captain Anurag Fapstronaut

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    This is one of the motivational success stories I will read again and again
     
    Sterkte likes this.
  6. pornlessgeneral

    pornlessgeneral Fapstronaut

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    Thank you. I think it must be hard for a Muslim to fight these urges because you are used to see decent women with their hair covered and suddenly you see on the Internet naked women...
    Anyway, I still don't understand how I managed to stay away completely from porn videos and yet I looked at porn images.
     
  7. D. Jigen

    D. Jigen Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much for sharing this ! It inspires me a lot ! It's really a tricky period for me and this kind of message lifts my mood up.
     
    Sterkte likes this.
  8. Sterkte

    Sterkte Fapstronaut

    Keep up the good work my friend! When the going gets tough, keep your eyes on the prize.
     
    D. Jigen likes this.
  9. Raging Bull

    Raging Bull Fapstronaut

    congrats Sterkte - inspiring.
     
    Sterkte and 220woof671 like this.
  10. Asgardian36

    Asgardian36 Fapstronaut

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    thanks for posting.
     
    Sterkte likes this.
  11. Nadav_co

    Nadav_co Fapstronaut

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    Wow bro! You have no idea how glad i am that you mentioned me here! I really enjoyed reading your posts and process throught the year! It's amazing how youv'e changed!
    I remember back then Seeing you giving up every week and then everytime you lefr me amazed how you kept fighting and standing up once again! Youve been blessed with a huge willpower!
    Keep up the good work! And may we win this fight together!
     
    Sterkte and 220woof671 like this.
  12. Sterkte

    Sterkte Fapstronaut

    Thanks my friend!! I really appreciate the kind words. Even though I ended up relapsing shortly after haha. But it's just a little setback, nothing more.
    Hope all is well with you!
     
    Nadav_co likes this.

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