My NoFap diary (extreme case with Femdom/Findom)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Globetrotter of the world, Apr 8, 2021.

  1. Globetrotter of the world

    Globetrotter of the world New Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys,

    I started this journey mainly because of my depression and because of my unableness to have sex (ED). The last thing bothers me the most tbh, because I am 28 yo. already and even though I have been with some great girls, I could so far never in my life maintain a hard enough erection to really have sex with them. I never wanted to take V.pills, which maybe was a mistake, but well, now it's too late anyway.

    I started at around 16 y. to watch P. and instead of beginning with normal sex P., I directly watched the extreme stuff (Femdom/Findom/Foot Fetish), which also scares me a bit, because normal sex has so far never really turned me on. I hope this will change by the end of this experiment. Also, I usually used to masturbate up to 5 hours daily (sometimes even longer), while watching Findom Twitter, Femdom videos or sex-roleplay-chats. The last months my "little friend" got not even really hard anymore, whenever I masturbated, which I guess kind of gave me the last wakeup call I needed. I have tried NoFap before a few years ago, but I did not take it very seriously and relapsed right after a maximum of 6 days.
    I haven't set myself a day-limit, because I have no idea how long it will take me more or less to recover from this. I read guys who do this for up to 1 year, which I can't really imagine doing at this point. But I am willing to really do my best to beat this.

    Day 2 without PMOing is coming to an end, even though my urges were pretty high during the day. I installed website-blockers on all potential websites, that I used to watch, which I feel really helped so far.
    I will keep you guys updated. Also to hold myself accountable, if I want to relapse.

    Thanks for reading, every comment/advise is appreciated. Cheers
     
    Kilrunio, Different Built and Candun like this.
  2. Candun

    Candun Fapstronaut

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    Great decision you made. I'd say don't worry about having a long goal for now.
    Just take it day by day and enjoy each moment that you don't have that trash in your life.
     
    Agent likes this.
  3. Different Built

    Different Built Fapstronaut

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    One day at a time, let's do whatever it takes to beat this
     
    StopForever likes this.
  4. Globetrotter of the world

    Globetrotter of the world New Fapstronaut

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    4 days of NoFap done guys! I think this is almost a record for me in many years. Yesterday I felt pretty depressed and today my urges have been on and off. Right now I don't feel horny at all, perhaps I am already on Flatline. But well, this makes it a lot easier for me tbh.
     
    Different Built and Candun like this.
  5. StopForever

    StopForever Fapstronaut

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    My relapse always happens during flatline. I am depressed too. But I know it is because I have more than 3 decades of PMO. I will have to take more than 300 days to recover. I have been having headache, rhinitis, blocked nose, stiff neck, and very low energy most of time for the last 30 days.

    Most of the time, I think of my parents and my daughter (who she lives with my ex-wife). I cannot let myself down and I cannot disappoint them. I have to change. So, when my urge arises, I think of my very closed relatives and my daughter.

    Keep yourself very busy. Do something! Running, cycling, swimming etc. Do not use mobile and computer unless it is 100% necessary.
    Bear in mind you are still young, if you manage to get rid of it, you will still have many years to enjoy your life. I will be 50 in 4 month time.

    Good luck! You will make it.
     
    Candun likes this.
  6. todolist

    todolist Fapstronaut

    Best of luck dude! I've also struggled with femdom recently, although in my case it's probably a fetish I developed through excessive porn use, and not something I had from the beginning.
    Either way I know how destructive it can get. Believe me when I say you'll feel like a different man after 10 days. When your mind doesn't have access to fetish P it pretty quickly goes back to a more natural view of sex - trust me.

    I've 'relapsed' a few times during my brief flirt with nofap but it's taught me a very important lesson. THIS TAKES TIME. Don't expect to be cured overnight - you're probably going to fail, but each streak is going to make you stronger. Keep journaling, keep exercising and keep sticking to a routine and you'll forget about femdom in no time!
     

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