It's maybe - the Final Article I write for the Nofap community. Or not, in the unknown future, I will have something to share along? I don't know, till then, let's the future lead us 
My article has the length of 12021 words. (yes, to inform you first hand @@)
My purpose: I hope my reflection Article can:
I know I'm still really young, near to the graduation from Uni. There're a lot of people older than me in this community. I may be inexperienced, as I will gain in the real near future in my work and life. So what I was going through are many things you had been through. But all and all, this is my journey, and I'm telling it, opening up for friends in Nofap.
My counter-productive intention I never mean to:
Cause I know my cousin bro once said "Giving SO unsolicited advice equals to being rude to them". I don't like this quote, but it may seem like that, since I talk to my friend and she just wants to share with me, not asking for my advice since she can figure herself out. - So yeah, you can take what works for you, what aligns with your values, and the person you want to become.
So, let's get into the Article. Since it's an Article and, I try to be crisp and structured, to-the-point also not over-chitchatting - but still, there's sufficient emotion along the way. Sometimes too many feelings and words can be a real pain in the bum for readers with little time
- I know 
There are main parts of this Article:
1/ My Nofap journey:
2/ How Nofap: The reasons for relapses and how I found the way of thinking to got through them. It can be from basic reasons to your inner DRIVE. Find your deep desire to be present on this ground. What is the best version of self you want to be and WHY?
Some relapse effects on daily interaction.
3/ A few honest words I share how I feel about the healing journey, my family and my growth from now on to the future. May you can resonate with.
4/ Grow as an ISTJ from MBTI 16 personalities
-----
1/ My Nofap journey:
*** My right-now situation:
+ My work-related situation:
I would say that I finished my Graduating Project, has one subject left to work for Uni, and one English certificate. I'm trying to wrap up Uni works and then start to work in my dad's company/business, so let's say I'm in the transition point to a new phase, a new journey of life. I know I'm privileged more than my Uni fellows cause they have to find jobs outside in the city alone, no family lives with them. So yeah, I just have to do - what I have to do
So I know I have to try my best to learn and study - from now on:
+ My mentality:
I'm fine, most then ever.
I'm at my best can be that persona of cool, calm, serene I used to WISH so much as back then in those healing PMO abstaining days. Of course, I have a long way to keep going on the upcoming new journey
I gotta keep the Nofap lifestyle for a long lifetime, it means I'll visit here whenever I need support and accountability.
I can make sense of everything from my past:
I make sense of all this by understanding my type - ISTJ in MBTI.
Even now I translated this article I wrote in my mother tongue 2 months ago, I still feel kinda alienated. Like I can't believe it's my story, though it's my story. Like it's somebody else's story @@ Yeah, kinda weird, but still, I did translate them to give you the context of my story
Use MBTI to interpret: I didn't know any clue about this major, I just choose this cause my dad has a company in this major I go to. No interest, nothing, when my fellows are enthusiastic about it. - Now I know why I chose this major although I could draw realistic pretty well: Because it's a pragmatic, practical, useful major/work that my society actually needs. As an ISTJ using Si (Introverted Sensing) from birth till 20 year-olds, I acknowledged that my Si of drawing cannot create any "stylish, imaginative, creative, mind-blowing" kind of art, I draw realistic portraits really well, actually I did take a commission for that (2 times, small money, in my high school). And my Si could lead me well in Math, Physics, Chemistry, English, those subjects I took my effort into my Final High School Test and land me to this Engineering major. My Si as an ISTJ told me as my gut to just "maintain" my dad's company (Maintenance tradition is an ISTJ personality thing :v), and study something really practical, pragmatic for my family and society. That was my mental process when I decided to go to this major - though, at that time, I had zero interest in Electrical Engineering to do with, not like my classmate fellows. Now, from time to time, I gain knowledge and learn to like what I study, which is helpful for me to approach this huge major
- My fate (my dad's company and this major I was in)
- My society (My class where there were two females (including me) as lefts are male).
They treat the other girl (my friend) better, "wheedle and coax", surrounding her like bee around flowers cause she obviously more beautiful witty and smart, hands-on, out-going. I was opposite, as that time I was still over-weight (then later at the end of 2019, my mum helped my family to lose weight, I workout everyday till today, being average-weight now), and inferior because of this PMO addiction affects on my mentality, made me believe I wasn't good enough. I was the one who was isolated, no one asked for, no one talked too. Really alone at that time. Victim mentality made me believe this society was screwed up, injustice. It was detrimental for me to see everything everyone through that sad lense that way.
Now I know, it's not necessary like that, it's just suitable compatible people we keep, non-compatible ones weren't meant to be in our lives. It's completely normal
And I realized how bad my intrusive thoughts and my thought suggestion are. My depression let me struggle with a lot back then, question my self-worth a lot. Then I immediately decided to talk to my close high-school friend about what i felt at this time. And fortunate for me, I was listened and understood well. (Love my friend. We still remain friends )
Here I made very first posts and I was helped by really great people on this supportive site, who also on their way on healing and recovery journey
Along the way, I find out and read more and more about Nofap and PMO abstaining knowledge. I stack for myself some important knowledge to keep going. Of course there're more knowledge than just this, but since it's an article, I rather not bombard you information. Here's some pieces of knowledge I found essential:
Link: Postcoital Neurochemistry: The Blues and the Highs | Emotion, Brain, & Behavior Laboratory
"This is because after the rush of O, dopamine levels drop below baseline, similar to what happens during withdrawal from drugs of abuse. Low dopamine levels are associated with depression, low energy, lack of ambition, social anxiety."
That's why we need 1-2 weeks to get recover from a lapse. I myself felt that before. In the mean time while i had to go to Uni, my mental constantly told myself "Act like H" (H is my real name), kinda depersonalize @@. I didn't feel as myself in my own physique at the time.
Dopamine definition: Dopamine is strongly associated with pleasure and reward. It’s a contributing factor in motor function, mood, and even our decision making.
Dopamine is released when your brain is expecting a reward. When you come to associate a certain activity with pleasure, mere anticipation may be enough to raise dopamine levels. It could be a certain food, sex, shopping, or just about anything else that you enjoy.
Aside from its “feel good” function, dopamine is involved in many body functions. Some enumerated are executive functioning, memory and focus, motor control, stress response, mood and emotions, pleasure and reward seeking behavior; and body-related processes like blood flow, heart and kidney function, digestion, sleep.
Ways to boost healthy dopamine: Dopamine if in a healthy amount can boost our mental and physical health. Create healthy amount of dopamine through workout, exercise, getting work done, learn something new, like learn a new language, execute hobbies, meditate. I like those activities too, really detox my physical and mental stuck
Link: 33 Ways to Increase Dopamine to Boost Your Productivity - Endless Events
"The right amount of dopamine usually goes along with a pretty good mood . It’s ideal for learning, planning, and productivity. Too low dopamine can create difficulty concentrating, less motivation. Intense dopamine rush can create overreaction, compulsive behavior, addiction to things you consumes, always ask for more. Too low or too high dopamine level can create unbalance in neuron hemicals/neurotransmitters in brains, cause uncomfortable, compulsive symptoms, behaviors and consequences.
Link: Dopamine Effects on the Body, Plus Drug and Hormone Interactions
Your Brain on Porn of Gary Wilson: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ - Science evidence
Fight The New Drug: https://fightthenewdrug.org/ - Interview celebs about PMO, articles,...
Difference between instant dopamine and long life-time lasting serotonin.
Or we all don't have to know much about science evidence to see how PMO addiction affects our life and work, and our mentality. No difference between various biological genders about what PMO addiction can affect directly onto our brains. More knowledge, more awareness about brain functioning and how it made us manifests outside our environment, making decisions, taking actions.
, I discover this movie "A Street Cat Named Bob". This based on a same name book, real story of James Bowen - ex drug addict who's a street artist in Covent Garden - London. He was staying at funded house while is on methadone. He adopted a ginger strayed hungry cat found food in this home and name it Bob. Then, these two on their way to recover, find every way to get back and make it up to his life.
The movie soundtrack is real interesting, uplifting and bring up good vibes. Everyone has their second chance in life to make it up for their own lives. The music really brings hope more people in addiction heal in their rehab/recovery journey. And even after healing, we all can have n-th chances in our life. Never stop, keep going, there will be the way out somewhere
Unfortunately, Bob died after being hit by a car, at the grand old age of 14 in June 2020. Street Cat Bob's owner James Bowen has told The Big Issue that his new kittens – Bandit and Gizmo – are helping him to cope with the loss of his “best friend” earlier this year.
Youtube video: Street Cat Bob memorial statue unveiled by James Bowen - YouTube
(continue)
My article has the length of 12021 words. (yes, to inform you first hand @@)
My purpose: I hope my reflection Article can:
- Bring you can give you some clues, insights and suggestion mindset you can stack in your luggage on this long-life journey
- Inspire you to keep going on this worth journey, a long-life journey which open for us many possibilities that we couldn't imagine we reach there, but - we can. We are all capable, I believe.
- Make you can resonate at some point in my journey. Cause everybody has their really own story to tell. Maybe you can find the same framework of every person: Trying real hard for PMO abstaining journey, and then move on the next stage - Working on things you aspire to do when you gain back YOU - your best self.
My counter-productive intention I never mean to:
- "dictate" or "impose" you, or giving "unsolicited advices that would come off 'rude' ".
So, let's get into the Article. Since it's an Article and, I try to be crisp and structured, to-the-point also not over-chitchatting - but still, there's sufficient emotion along the way. Sometimes too many feelings and words can be a real pain in the bum for readers with little time
- I know There are main parts of this Article:
1/ My Nofap journey:
- My right-now situation - How my mentality changes
- My Nofap journey start today
2/ How Nofap: The reasons for relapses and how I found the way of thinking to got through them. It can be from basic reasons to your inner DRIVE. Find your deep desire to be present on this ground. What is the best version of self you want to be and WHY?
Some relapse effects on daily interaction.
3/ A few honest words I share how I feel about the healing journey, my family and my growth from now on to the future. May you can resonate with.
4/ Grow as an ISTJ from MBTI 16 personalities
- A brief explanation and need-to-know terms (for all 16 types) about MBTI 16p. How me as ISTJ approach in work, my blind-spots, my effort to cover my blind-spots.
- A bit of interpretation of why I choose my major in the past - All things lead me to the Nofap healing journey.
- Path for growth from now on to be a healthy individual.
-----
1/ My Nofap journey:
*** My right-now situation:
+ My work-related situation:
I would say that I finished my Graduating Project, has one subject left to work for Uni, and one English certificate. I'm trying to wrap up Uni works and then start to work in my dad's company/business, so let's say I'm in the transition point to a new phase, a new journey of life. I know I'm privileged more than my Uni fellows cause they have to find jobs outside in the city alone, no family lives with them. So yeah, I just have to do - what I have to do
So I know I have to try my best to learn and study - from now on:
- Engineering, technical things/skills (side learning programs/softwares/jobs/projects) - 4% of the project that I missed out that my fellows are now excellent at - in PMO and Nofap period (basically 4 years of Uni was consumed for both studying at Uni and healing in Nofap community - I did the best i could).
- Non-technical skills (financial procedures in a company, money flow in a job/project, negotiating skill to customers, effective marketing to needing customers...) - 96% left of the project
I'm fine, most then ever.
I'm at my best can be that persona of cool, calm, serene I used to WISH so much as back then in those healing PMO abstaining days. Of course, I have a long way to keep going on the upcoming new journey
- I don't objectify or s**ualize my physique. I feel it's as one of me, no depersonalization - derealization, no brain fog. I workout everyday (ofc, almost) to maintain physical and mental health being clear and sharp. A better body also leads to a better mind
- I consume little-to-none anything related to NSFW stuff in fandom. The fandom thing can get real
if I'm not aware enough. It's up to my future if i can get my timetable fill-upped more so till then i'll decide what to keep, what to reduce in entertaining.
- Like shaking off a great burden, I can confront with any person, no star-truck (overwhelm at someone who's much greater, more experienced, better grades than you). I can go with any people without worry too much about myself, what i have to act, or to say, ... or themselves, what they say, what they do,... - cause simply to say - I'm already comfortable in my own skin.
- I consume little-to-none anything related to NSFW stuff in fandom. The fandom thing can get real
if I'm not aware enough. It's up to my future if i can get my timetable fill-upped more so till then i'll decide what to keep, what to reduce in entertaining.- Like shaking off a great burden, I can confront with any person, no star-truck (overwhelm at someone who's much greater, more experienced, better grades than you). I can go with any people without worry too much about myself, what i have to act, or to say, ... or themselves, what they say, what they do,... - cause simply to say - I'm already comfortable in my own skin.
- I no longer worry too much about what people think about me. I stand firm with my morality, what VALUES I believe is true, Distinguish what is right or wrong, what i can agree with and what i cannot.
- I can speak up my mind when things is wrong, when people being irrational, harsh, bossy, pushy - simply wrong. And talk, listen them thoroughly, communicate with them to resolve the miscommunication problem.
- Through that, I acknowledge and take full responsibility for my fault, voice to them their fault. I give my apology to them, tell them to give an apology to me, and I resolve myself to take the action better next time when chances come. Self-development includes acknowledging our wrong behaviors and commit to trying our best to do better next time, not repeat the same mistake.
- My communication is more straight-forward, no bubbling, to-the-point, at-the-face, no sugar-coating, no nothing. I practice to be more assertive and pro-active in working and in life, practice to raise my voice at the right time, to gain results, get things dealt.
- I communicate more to my real-life friends and my family. Towards my family, it's less-to-none arguments. My dad and mum are getting older day by day. And I show my love to them, in person, I like to hug, cuddle and snuggle them like I was a little child.
I don't use imperatives to my younger brother anymore (or, if there's anyone - I will try not to). He's in 11th-grade, 6 years younger than me. This age don't like command or to be restrained, to be told. I communicate with him calm and easy, have fun but also firm when instruct and educate him what's good or bad, what he did good or not.
- I can speak up my mind when things is wrong, when people being irrational, harsh, bossy, pushy - simply wrong. And talk, listen them thoroughly, communicate with them to resolve the miscommunication problem.
- Through that, I acknowledge and take full responsibility for my fault, voice to them their fault. I give my apology to them, tell them to give an apology to me, and I resolve myself to take the action better next time when chances come. Self-development includes acknowledging our wrong behaviors and commit to trying our best to do better next time, not repeat the same mistake.
- My communication is more straight-forward, no bubbling, to-the-point, at-the-face, no sugar-coating, no nothing. I practice to be more assertive and pro-active in working and in life, practice to raise my voice at the right time, to gain results, get things dealt.
- I communicate more to my real-life friends and my family. Towards my family, it's less-to-none arguments. My dad and mum are getting older day by day. And I show my love to them, in person, I like to hug, cuddle and snuggle them like I was a little child.
I don't use imperatives to my younger brother anymore (or, if there's anyone - I will try not to). He's in 11th-grade, 6 years younger than me. This age don't like command or to be restrained, to be told. I communicate with him calm and easy, have fun but also firm when instruct and educate him what's good or bad, what he did good or not.
I gotta keep the Nofap lifestyle for a long lifetime, it means I'll visit here whenever I need support and accountability.
I can make sense of everything from my past:
I make sense of all this by understanding my type - ISTJ in MBTI.
- How did i chose my Engineering major though my 18-yo self not sure it wasn't the thing i even like. PMO addiction and its effects on my mentality in the past that makes me screw up in Uni must-know knowledge, family and classmates relationships. Why i found Nofap as an solution - as that time was an escape from all that.
- How i did bad in school subjects, screw up some classmates relationship while being jealous/envy to my only female friend classmate (who's smart and beautiful and 'outshone' me - or i thought it was that). How i strive to change everything in that time - try to be a more grounded person you can see now.
- See my past as the lessons i collect throughout my journey that take that to move on to my present and future - as I tried to heal everything/relationships in my past.
***My Nofap journey from the start till today:- How i did bad in school subjects, screw up some classmates relationship while being jealous/envy to my only female friend classmate (who's smart and beautiful and 'outshone' me - or i thought it was that). How i strive to change everything in that time - try to be a more grounded person you can see now.
- See my past as the lessons i collect throughout my journey that take that to move on to my present and future - as I tried to heal everything/relationships in my past.
Even now I translated this article I wrote in my mother tongue 2 months ago, I still feel kinda alienated. Like I can't believe it's my story, though it's my story. Like it's somebody else's story @@ Yeah, kinda weird, but still, I did translate them to give you the context of my story
- When I begin to Uni:
Use MBTI to interpret: I didn't know any clue about this major, I just choose this cause my dad has a company in this major I go to. No interest, nothing, when my fellows are enthusiastic about it. - Now I know why I chose this major although I could draw realistic pretty well: Because it's a pragmatic, practical, useful major/work that my society actually needs. As an ISTJ using Si (Introverted Sensing) from birth till 20 year-olds, I acknowledged that my Si of drawing cannot create any "stylish, imaginative, creative, mind-blowing" kind of art, I draw realistic portraits really well, actually I did take a commission for that (2 times, small money, in my high school). And my Si could lead me well in Math, Physics, Chemistry, English, those subjects I took my effort into my Final High School Test and land me to this Engineering major. My Si as an ISTJ told me as my gut to just "maintain" my dad's company (Maintenance tradition is an ISTJ personality thing :v), and study something really practical, pragmatic for my family and society. That was my mental process when I decided to go to this major - though, at that time, I had zero interest in Electrical Engineering to do with, not like my classmate fellows. Now, from time to time, I gain knowledge and learn to like what I study, which is helpful for me to approach this huge major
- Till a day:
- My fate (my dad's company and this major I was in)
- My society (My class where there were two females (including me) as lefts are male).
They treat the other girl (my friend) better, "wheedle and coax", surrounding her like bee around flowers cause she obviously more beautiful witty and smart, hands-on, out-going. I was opposite, as that time I was still over-weight (then later at the end of 2019, my mum helped my family to lose weight, I workout everyday till today, being average-weight now), and inferior because of this PMO addiction affects on my mentality, made me believe I wasn't good enough. I was the one who was isolated, no one asked for, no one talked too. Really alone at that time. Victim mentality made me believe this society was screwed up, injustice. It was detrimental for me to see everything everyone through that sad lense that way.
Now I know, it's not necessary like that, it's just suitable compatible people we keep, non-compatible ones weren't meant to be in our lives. It's completely normal
- May 2019:
And I realized how bad my intrusive thoughts and my thought suggestion are. My depression let me struggle with a lot back then, question my self-worth a lot. Then I immediately decided to talk to my close high-school friend about what i felt at this time. And fortunate for me, I was listened and understood well. (Love my friend. We still remain friends
)- July 9th 2019:
Here I made very first posts and I was helped by really great people on this supportive site, who also on their way on healing and recovery journey Along the way, I find out and read more and more about Nofap and PMO abstaining knowledge. I stack for myself some important knowledge to keep going. Of course there're more knowledge than just this, but since it's an article, I rather not bombard you information
. Here's some pieces of knowledge I found essential:
Link: Postcoital Neurochemistry: The Blues and the Highs | Emotion, Brain, & Behavior Laboratory
"This is because after the rush of O, dopamine levels drop below baseline, similar to what happens during withdrawal from drugs of abuse. Low dopamine levels are associated with depression, low energy, lack of ambition, social anxiety."
That's why we need 1-2 weeks to get recover from a lapse. I myself felt that before. In the mean time while i had to go to Uni, my mental constantly told myself "Act like H" (H is my real name), kinda depersonalize @@. I didn't feel as myself in my own physique at the time.
Dopamine definition: Dopamine is strongly associated with pleasure and reward. It’s a contributing factor in motor function, mood, and even our decision making.
Dopamine is released when your brain is expecting a reward. When you come to associate a certain activity with pleasure, mere anticipation may be enough to raise dopamine levels. It could be a certain food, sex, shopping, or just about anything else that you enjoy.
Aside from its “feel good” function, dopamine is involved in many body functions. Some enumerated are executive functioning, memory and focus, motor control, stress response, mood and emotions, pleasure and reward seeking behavior; and body-related processes like blood flow, heart and kidney function, digestion, sleep.
Ways to boost healthy dopamine: Dopamine if in a healthy amount can boost our mental and physical health. Create healthy amount of dopamine through workout, exercise, getting work done, learn something new, like learn a new language, execute hobbies, meditate. I like those activities too, really detox my physical and mental stuck
Link: 33 Ways to Increase Dopamine to Boost Your Productivity - Endless Events
"The right amount of dopamine usually goes along with a pretty good mood . It’s ideal for learning, planning, and productivity. Too low dopamine can create difficulty concentrating, less motivation. Intense dopamine rush can create overreaction, compulsive behavior, addiction to things you consumes, always ask for more. Too low or too high dopamine level can create unbalance in neuron hemicals/neurotransmitters in brains, cause uncomfortable, compulsive symptoms, behaviors and consequences.
Link: Dopamine Effects on the Body, Plus Drug and Hormone Interactions
Your Brain on Porn of Gary Wilson: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ - Science evidence
Fight The New Drug: https://fightthenewdrug.org/ - Interview celebs about PMO, articles,...
Difference between instant dopamine and long life-time lasting serotonin.
Or we all don't have to know much about science evidence to see how PMO addiction affects our life and work, and our mentality. No difference between various biological genders about what PMO addiction can affect directly onto our brains. More knowledge, more awareness about brain functioning and how it made us manifests outside our environment, making decisions, taking actions.
- August 2019:
, I discover this movie "A Street Cat Named Bob". This based on a same name book, real story of James Bowen - ex drug addict who's a street artist in Covent Garden - London. He was staying at funded house while is on methadone. He adopted a ginger strayed hungry cat found food in this home and name it Bob. Then, these two on their way to recover, find every way to get back and make it up to his life.The movie soundtrack is real interesting, uplifting and bring up good vibes. Everyone has their second chance in life to make it up for their own lives. The music really brings hope more people in addiction heal in their rehab/recovery journey. And even after healing, we all can have n-th chances in our life. Never stop, keep going, there will be the way out somewhere
Unfortunately, Bob died after being hit by a car, at the grand old age of 14 in June 2020. Street Cat Bob's owner James Bowen has told The Big Issue that his new kittens – Bandit and Gizmo – are helping him to cope with the loss of his “best friend” earlier this year.
Youtube video: Street Cat Bob memorial statue unveiled by James Bowen - YouTube
(continue)
Last edited:
)
