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My Nofap journey and MBTI Self-development - Halpherisdusfrey

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Halpherisdusfrey, Sep 7, 2021.

  1. It's maybe - the Final Article I write for the Nofap community. Or not, in the unknown future, I will have something to share along? I don't know, till then, let's the future lead us :)

    My article has the length of 12021 words. (yes, to inform you first hand @@)

    My purpose: I hope my reflection Article can:
    • Bring you can give you some clues, insights and suggestion mindset you can stack in your luggage on this long-life journey​
    • Inspire you to keep going on this worth journey, a long-life journey which open for us many possibilities that we couldn't imagine we reach there, but - we can. We are all capable, I believe.​
    • Make you can resonate at some point in my journey. Cause everybody has their really own story to tell. Maybe you can find the same framework of every person: Trying real hard for PMO abstaining journey, and then move on the next stage - Working on things you aspire to do when you gain back YOU - your best self.​
    I know I'm still really young, near to the graduation from Uni. There're a lot of people older than me in this community. I may be inexperienced, as I will gain in the real near future in my work and life. So what I was going through are many things you had been through. But all and all, this is my journey, and I'm telling it, opening up for friends in Nofap.

    My counter-productive intention I never mean to:
    • "dictate" or "impose" you, or giving "unsolicited advices that would come off 'rude' ".
    Cause I know my cousin bro once said "Giving SO unsolicited advice equals to being rude to them". I don't like this quote, but it may seem like that, since I talk to my friend and she just wants to share with me, not asking for my advice since she can figure herself out. - So yeah, you can take what works for you, what aligns with your values, and the person you want to become.

    So, let's get into the Article. Since it's an Article and, I try to be crisp and structured, to-the-point also not over-chitchatting - but still, there's sufficient emotion along the way. Sometimes too many feelings and words can be a real pain in the bum for readers with little time :emoji_sleeping::emoji_sleepy: - I know :emoji_ok_hand:

    There are main parts of this Article:
    1/ My Nofap journey:
    • My right-now situation - How my mentality changes
    • My Nofap journey start today
    Along the way, it will contain the basic pieces of knowledge I found. But the most important is, the DRIVE - What drives me, makes me feel aspired to get out of the PMO circle.

    2/ How Nofap: The reasons for relapses and how I found the way of thinking to got through them. It can be from basic reasons to your inner DRIVE. Find your deep desire to be present on this ground. What is the best version of self you want to be and WHY?
    Some relapse effects on daily interaction.

    3/ A few honest words I share how I feel about the healing journey, my family and my growth from now on to the future. May you can resonate with.

    4/ Grow as an ISTJ from MBTI 16 personalities
    • A brief explanation and need-to-know terms (for all 16 types) about MBTI 16p. How me as ISTJ approach in work, my blind-spots, my effort to cover my blind-spots.
    • A bit of interpretation of why I choose my major in the past - All things lead me to the Nofap healing journey.
    • Path for growth from now on to be a healthy individual.

    1/ My Nofap journey:

    *** My right-now situation:

    + My work-related situation:

    I would say that I finished my Graduating Project, has one subject left to work for Uni, and one English certificate. I'm trying to wrap up Uni works and then start to work in my dad's company/business, so let's say I'm in the transition point to a new phase, a new journey of life. I know I'm privileged more than my Uni fellows cause they have to find jobs outside in the city alone, no family lives with them. So yeah, I just have to do - what I have to do :)

    So I know I have to try my best to learn and study - from now on:
    • Engineering, technical things/skills (side learning programs/softwares/jobs/projects) - 4% of the project that I missed out that my fellows are now excellent at - in PMO and Nofap period (basically 4 years of Uni was consumed for both studying at Uni and healing in Nofap community - I did the best i could).
    • Non-technical skills (financial procedures in a company, money flow in a job/project, negotiating skill to customers, effective marketing to needing customers...) - 96% left of the project
    + My mentality:
    I'm fine, most then ever.
    I'm at my best can be that persona of cool, calm, serene I used to WISH so much as back then in those healing PMO abstaining days. Of course, I have a long way to keep going on the upcoming new journey :)
    - I don't objectify or s**ualize my physique. I feel it's as one of me, no depersonalization - derealization, no brain fog. I workout everyday (ofc, almost) to maintain physical and mental health being clear and sharp. A better body also leads to a better mind :)
    - I consume little-to-none anything related to NSFW stuff in fandom. The fandom thing can get real :emoji_underage: if I'm not aware enough. It's up to my future if i can get my timetable fill-upped more so till then i'll decide what to keep, what to reduce in entertaining.
    - Like shaking off a great burden, I can confront with any person, no star-truck (overwhelm at someone who's much greater, more experienced, better grades than you). I can go with any people without worry too much about myself, what i have to act, or to say, ... or themselves, what they say, what they do,... - cause simply to say - I'm already comfortable in my own skin.

    - I no longer worry too much about what people think about me. I stand firm with my morality, what VALUES I believe is true, Distinguish what is right or wrong, what i can agree with and what i cannot.
    - I can speak up my mind when things is wrong, when people being irrational, harsh, bossy, pushy - simply wrong. And talk, listen them thoroughly, communicate with them to resolve the miscommunication problem.
    - Through that, I acknowledge and take full responsibility for my fault, voice to them their fault. I give my apology to them, tell them to give an apology to me, and I resolve myself to take the action better next time when chances come. Self-development includes acknowledging our wrong behaviors and commit to trying our best to do better next time, not repeat the same mistake.
    - My communication is more straight-forward, no bubbling, to-the-point, at-the-face, no sugar-coating, no nothing. I practice to be more assertive and pro-active in working and in life, practice to raise my voice at the right time, to gain results, get things dealt.

    - I communicate more to my real-life friends and my family. Towards my family, it's less-to-none arguments. My dad and mum are getting older day by day. And I show my love to them, in person, I like to hug, cuddle and snuggle them like I was a little child.
    I don't use imperatives to my younger brother anymore (or, if there's anyone - I will try not to). He's in 11th-grade, 6 years younger than me. This age don't like command or to be restrained, to be told. I communicate with him calm and easy, have fun but also firm when instruct and educate him what's good or bad, what he did good or not.​

    I gotta keep the Nofap lifestyle for a long lifetime, it means I'll visit here whenever I need support and accountability. :emoji_blush::emoji_grin::emoji_raised_hands::emoji_hugging::emoji_open_hands:

    I can make sense of everything from my past: :emoji_ok_hand:
    I make sense of all this by understanding my type - ISTJ in MBTI.
    - How did i chose my Engineering major though my 18-yo self not sure it wasn't the thing i even like. PMO addiction and its effects on my mentality in the past that makes me screw up in Uni must-know knowledge, family and classmates relationships. Why i found Nofap as an solution - as that time was an escape from all that.
    - How i did bad in school subjects, screw up some classmates relationship while being jealous/envy to my only female friend classmate (who's smart and beautiful and 'outshone' me - or i thought it was that). How i strive to change everything in that time - try to be a more grounded person you can see now.
    - See my past as the lessons i collect throughout my journey that take that to move on to my present and future - as I tried to heal everything/relationships in my past.​
    ***My Nofap journey from the start till today:
    Even now I translated this article I wrote in my mother tongue 2 months ago, I still feel kinda alienated. Like I can't believe it's my story, though it's my story. Like it's somebody else's story @@ Yeah, kinda weird, but still, I did translate them to give you the context of my story :)
    • When I begin to Uni:
    The unusual environment where so many males with very few females, my Electrical Engineering major I chose myself - got me no Drive to study and down the PMO path. Cause I thought back then PMO can really boost .. confidence (You can see How wrong I was).
    Use MBTI to interpret: I didn't know any clue about this major, I just choose this cause my dad has a company in this major I go to. No interest, nothing, when my fellows are enthusiastic about it. - Now I know why I chose this major although I could draw realistic pretty well: Because it's a pragmatic, practical, useful major/work that my society actually needs. As an ISTJ using Si (Introverted Sensing) from birth till 20 year-olds, I acknowledged that my Si of drawing cannot create any "stylish, imaginative, creative, mind-blowing" kind of art, I draw realistic portraits really well, actually I did take a commission for that (2 times, small money, in my high school). And my Si could lead me well in Math, Physics, Chemistry, English, those subjects I took my effort into my Final High School Test and land me to this Engineering major. My Si as an ISTJ told me as my gut to just "maintain" my dad's company (Maintenance tradition is an ISTJ personality thing :v), and study something really practical, pragmatic for my family and society. That was my mental process when I decided to go to this major - though, at that time, I had zero interest in Electrical Engineering to do with, not like my classmate fellows. Now, from time to time, I gain knowledge and learn to like what I study, which is helpful for me to approach this huge major :)
    • Till a day:
    PMO addiction nearly drowned me in victim mentality of
    - My fate (my dad's company and this major I was in)
    - My society (My class where there were two females (including me) as lefts are male).

    They treat the other girl (my friend) better, "wheedle and coax", surrounding her like bee around flowers cause she obviously more beautiful witty and smart, hands-on, out-going. I was opposite, as that time I was still over-weight (then later at the end of 2019, my mum helped my family to lose weight, I workout everyday till today, being average-weight now), and inferior because of this PMO addiction affects on my mentality, made me believe I wasn't good enough. I was the one who was isolated, no one asked for, no one talked too. Really alone at that time. Victim mentality made me believe this society was screwed up, injustice. It was detrimental for me to see everything everyone through that sad lense that way.
    Now I know, it's not necessary like that, it's just suitable compatible people we keep, non-compatible ones weren't meant to be in our lives. It's completely normal :)
    • May 2019:
    No one answered my message on class group chat. They ignored, painfully. I was too negative and couldn't think any clearly at that time. My head popped an idea that "I want to evaporate into air. All memories about me of my family and relatives is gone, no one remembered i existed". I thought my existence to this world i live in is not necessary.
    And I realized how bad my intrusive thoughts and my thought suggestion are. My depression let me struggle with a lot back then, question my self-worth a lot. Then I immediately decided to talk to my close high-school friend about what i felt at this time. And fortunate for me, I was listened and understood well. (Love my friend. We still remain friends :) )
    • July 9th 2019:
    I found out about a place for ones practices PMO abstaining. That is Nofap community :) Here I made very first posts and I was helped by really great people on this supportive site, who also on their way on healing and recovery journey :)

    Along the way, I find out and read more and more about Nofap and PMO abstaining knowledge. I stack for myself some important knowledge to keep going. Of course there're more knowledge than just this, but since it's an article, I rather not bombard you information :). Here's some pieces of knowledge I found essential:


    Link: Postcoital Neurochemistry: The Blues and the Highs | Emotion, Brain, & Behavior Laboratory
    "This is because after the rush of O, dopamine levels drop below baseline, similar to what happens during withdrawal from drugs of abuse. Low dopamine levels are associated with depression, low energy, lack of ambition, social anxiety."
    That's why we need 1-2 weeks to get recover from a lapse. I myself felt that before. In the mean time while i had to go to Uni, my mental constantly told myself "Act like H" (H is my real name), kinda depersonalize @@. I didn't feel as myself in my own physique at the time.

    Dopamine definition: Dopamine is strongly associated with pleasure and reward. It’s a contributing factor in motor function, mood, and even our decision making.
    Dopamine is released when your brain is expecting a reward. When you come to associate a certain activity with pleasure, mere anticipation may be enough to raise dopamine levels. It could be a certain food, sex, shopping, or just about anything else that you enjoy.
    Aside from its “feel good” function, dopamine is involved in many body functions. Some enumerated are executive functioning, memory and focus, motor control, stress response, mood and emotions, pleasure and reward seeking behavior; and body-related processes like blood flow, heart and kidney function, digestion, sleep.

    Ways to boost healthy dopamine: Dopamine if in a healthy amount can boost our mental and physical health. Create healthy amount of dopamine through workout, exercise, getting work done, learn something new, like learn a new language, execute hobbies, meditate. I like those activities too, really detox my physical and mental stuck :)
    Link: 33 Ways to Increase Dopamine to Boost Your Productivity - Endless Events

    "The right amount of dopamine usually goes along with a pretty good mood . It’s ideal for learning, planning, and productivity. Too low dopamine can create difficulty concentrating, less motivation. Intense dopamine rush can create overreaction, compulsive behavior, addiction to things you consumes, always ask for more. Too low or too high dopamine level can create unbalance in neuron hemicals/neurotransmitters in brains, cause uncomfortable, compulsive symptoms, behaviors and consequences.
    Link: Dopamine Effects on the Body, Plus Drug and Hormone Interactions

    Your Brain on Porn of Gary Wilson: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ - Science evidence
    Fight The New Drug: https://fightthenewdrug.org/ - Interview celebs about PMO, articles,...

    Difference between instant dopamine and long life-time lasting serotonin.

    Or we all don't have to know much about science evidence to see how PMO addiction affects our life and work, and our mentality. No difference between various biological genders about what PMO addiction can affect directly onto our brains. More knowledge, more awareness about brain functioning and how it made us manifests outside our environment, making decisions, taking actions.

    • August 2019:
    In this time, when i made drawings for my dear friend studying abroad, when i look for reference how to draw a cat on a person's shoulder :emoji_joy:, I discover this movie "A Street Cat Named Bob". This based on a same name book, real story of James Bowen - ex drug addict who's a street artist in Covent Garden - London. He was staying at funded house while is on methadone. He adopted a ginger strayed hungry cat found food in this home and name it Bob. Then, these two on their way to recover, find every way to get back and make it up to his life.

    The movie soundtrack is real interesting, uplifting and bring up good vibes. Everyone has their second chance in life to make it up for their own lives. The music really brings hope more people in addiction heal in their rehab/recovery journey. And even after healing, we all can have n-th chances in our life. Never stop, keep going, there will be the way out somewhere :)
    Unfortunately, Bob died after being hit by a car, at the grand old age of 14 in June 2020. Street Cat Bob's owner James Bowen has told The Big Issue that his new kittens – Bandit and Gizmo – are helping him to cope with the loss of his “best friend” earlier this year.

    Youtube video: Street Cat Bob memorial statue unveiled by James Bowen - YouTube

    Last edited: Sep 12, 2021
    • December 2019:
    After 6 months, relapse at times, several reasons. At the end of 2019, my Birthday is December 25th, I felt like i was born again. My soundtrack at the time was "Fawks the Phoenix" of Harry Potter "The Chamber of Secrets". Cause phoenix is a symbol of rebirth, rising from the ashes. At the time, Nofap to me, was the best decision i have had in my life. Now? It still. But as I more grow, there'll be more decisions then, talk about that later. But still, Nofap remains one of the best decision i have had in my life. At that time, I can fully believe i'm the host of my life, I have the chance to survive. I'm not a "hopeless, terrible, dull" person i believed i was, so that was why people treat me exactly like that.

    Link: My picture at that time: I look at the camera at a booth in placed in my uni, with a genuine smile on my face, though I can look pretty plain outside, but really, inside, it's a life force i found in myself
    • January 7th 2020:
    To celebrate the joy that I found myself back (just say it that way, I never left anw), I went downtown in the city and got my hair cut short. I told the hairdresser to style my hair like Harry Potter in "The Prisoner of Azkaban" [​IMG]. My friend asked, I told them It's just for shorter, less hot.
    • From the beginning of 2020 till near the end of 2020:
    Relapses from time to time. Reasons in the How Nofap part. Anyone here relapse countless time, to completely realize the thing that went wrong and do better next time. My streak was about 10 days, 3-4 weeks, 40-ish days, 60-ish days ... maybe 60-ish days were max at the time.
    My brain still was like "I can consume P-subs (Yaoi, gay-P) without relapse". How completely wrong I was. My brain thought it was healed, that was the problem.
    • 2 ending months in 2020:
    There was time I relapsed between every 10 days in a row of 2 months, 6 times total. My mental questioned myself: "What the frick I did heal but relapse like this?? What's wrong here? Why the frick is that?". So my mental was in suspicion about my definition of "healing". Then, dear friend @fg4795 (you earn a cameo in this, i'll pay you fee later[​IMG]) told me that "You heal everyday, my friend, not just once for a life-time". I disenchanted: "Oh, right. Nofap is healing every single day. Everyday we go on with the attitude of healing in Nofap. Don't ever, ever forget."

    So this realization is real important. It's like a wake-up call in my head that I never despise what I consume into my brain. What my eyes see, what i choose to look at, to spend my energy, pay my attention at - is the thing I have to be careful. After consume information, I have to act on to judge the information my consume in, to judge to decide what is right or wrong, what suits my value, my essence, my nature, then act on what is right. It both applies for my work and my life in consuming information.
    • From the beginning of 2021 till ... the beginning of July 2021:
    Relapses from time to time. In this time, i was doing my Graduating Project - with 2 more partners - in my dad's company, so I didn't have to to school. My psyche was less strained by others like before.

    And this time, I actually paid attention to the root reason of the row of relapses in 2 ending months in 2020, and that time in May. I realized the top reason for relapse was stress, that i couldn't fully realize or fully reflect before due to too many works i had to do that the time. I wasn't aware enough of stress when i went to school and chased by those deadlines all days, and how could I realized I was stress-escalated while ... being in the center of stress storm? That was why 2 ending months in 2020 relapses in high frequency like that.

    The rest of the relapses always came from curiosity... related to Incognito Mode. I looked for PMO actively in the beginning in my Conscious Mind, so wanted it or not, I was always hit by the untamed force of urge and ended up relapse.

    There's no "I can watch it for a little and I can fully control it, I won't relapse, don't worry" or "I wanna try to see it out, I promise I can control myself", just NOPE. It's a pointless excuse our mind tells ourselves.

    Then I thought, "I cannot relapse like this. It's completely against my value, my intention of this healing journey. It's a mental toll for my belief, for what I fight for. So I take a big DRIVE: "live a life in which I am mentally comfortable and stable, live happily and peacefully" - like my friends do. I want to have a life with a stable mentality like that."

    So that DRIVE that drives me to have a mental-comfortable state-of-mind, to make living less headache, more comfortable at least. Less worry about myself, to keep the energy for work, actual job/project, to keep the energy for loving my family and real-life friends. Maybe, you guys too :)

    2/ How Nofap:

    So I'll come to reasons of relapse and some mindsets i found to keep going on.
    1. S*xual dreams:
    Dreams happens in our Subconscious Mind. It doesn't reflect the reality, the real life. Although that dream can be really much worse, but it doesn't affect our real life - up to how we choose to react to it. Most of the case, please don't worry about it too much then heh :)

    2. P-subs:
    Yaoi (male x male manga), models, megazines, P accounts... pictures/videos on social media like Twitter, Insta, or even, Facebook - Get rid of them. Unfollow, block, mute. Out of sight out of mind.

    3. Objectify our own body:
    I know it's hard. But in the Nofap healing journey, I did get some trouble with this. Til now, I feel comfortable in my own skin. I don't objectify or itching about my body, not anymore. In my mindset now, I know i'm gonna step into a new phase of life. The phase of PMO addiction stayed forever in my past, left behind my back - and I have my full respect with that, it teaches me a lot of things in life.

    So in this part of Objectify our own body, my mindset below for this may require actual working on in our mentality, our state-of-mind, to reach to a grounded, balance state of our soul where it's not wavering, hectic and chaotic, jumping around in panic. Cause I just realize this is true:


    I think if we have the good DRIVE towards life, our mind and our body will be in tune to reach the same state of being. Being balanced, easy-living, easy-existing in life - like Buddhism does. :)

    We (including me) really fell into the trap of "abstain PMO for a time and think that we can 'fully control' " - especially there're tons of P-subs in normal life, obscene celebrities in our society who did dirty themselves (yet, they have tons of mindless followers and bull-shit press), P-subs in movies... Darn it, my eyes are freaking sore of all that. So, I just gotta say to myself - Be careful, trigger, warning everywhere, like zombies :emoji_dizzy_face::emoji_pray:

    Cause, to be honest, I admit it's a thin line when it comes to P-subs that we even didn't realize we consume until we did. Like watch a picture of a celeb, a scene in movie... really disposing female body parts, that's kinda too disturbing to me @@ And when that feeling comes, my body and my mind are not in sync anymore, I cannot feel 'fully pleasant, worry-free' kind-of feeling when it comes to my own body, a 'derailing, uncomfortable, distressing, irritating' kind-of feeling that I cannot feel comfortable in my own skin, really hard. So, I must be cautious at this point.

    My mindset before was: Body is a vital thing in a lot of things in our life: running, walking, workout, playing, sporting, riding a motorbike, work, laboring - healthy activities create healthy amount of dopamine, sleep to recreate energy. The body gets ill, the mind cannot work properly. The role of our body is indispensable for our life, it's our accountability - or a dear friend, not something to hate (no matter what size your body are), objectify or sexualize it to an obscene way.

    On the contrary, stick with your body, exercise and drink enough water, don't get sick, take care of your body - health is the foundation to do everything else.

    I did have trouble when looking down there. But I didn't let to be my concern, it doesn't that matter. (It was before, now i'm fine). Just pay attention to body shape, weight, muscles, look at it with an admiring eye for carrying myself out of breath through many workout exercises (thanks to my body friend :) ). Me and my body are duckling-happy, the workout creates healthy dopamine , serotonin (different vs surge dopamine when O). So cherish it. [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]

    4. Find to P or P-subs with a "belief" that "I can control it."
    We believe that "we can consume P, P-subs and still control ourselves. No relapse in reality. Or 'watching P in control' (small amount of time) is possible." - False belief. Drop that immediately. In the chapter 3: The Miracle-Working Power of Your Subconscious of the book "The Power of Subconscious Mind - Joseph Murphy" (https://rgu.ac/rgi_pdf/power-subconscious-mind.pdf) (I'm sorry, it's the best I can afford) said:

    " There are two states of mind: Conscious Mind and Subconscious Mind.

    Conscious Mind is 10%, is the state to think streams of ideas and thoughts, selective information to absorb into the Subconscious mind, the state has the ability to choose (choice), here is choosing what to put into the brain, consume information both good and bad.
    Subconscious Mind is 90%, is a state with no choice. It runs in the background even when we sleep, helps keep the heart beating, ears still listen, ... even while sleeping, is what wakes us up to the rhythm biology. It holds long-term memory, reflexes, actions, inclinations, beliefs, opinions, theories, impressions experienced through the Conscious mind - and brings all that - collected from Conscious Mind - manifest through actions, ideals, on the external environment such as conditions, experiences, and events.

    Be careful about what we put into our Conscious Mind. Just keep your conscious mind busy with the expectation of the best, based on whatsoever things are lovely, true, just, and of good report. Knowing in your heart and soul that your Subconscious mind is always expressing, reproducing, and manifesting according to your habitual thinking to the outside world. Claim that the healing presence in your subconscious is flowing through you as harmony, health, peace, joy, and abundance. "

    So that's why just watch P, P-subs then there's a relapse. Therefore, the act of looking at P, P-subs whether there is an actual relapse or not, in the mind, is already counted as a relapse.

    5. Stress
    The root reason of the relapses in 2 ending months in 2020, and that time in May 2021.
    I did an article about this: Stress, how it leads to Relapse, and Productivity and Mindfulness in Relapse prevention | NoFap®
    Or I can sum up the important article links here:

    1/ Stress is the top reason leads to relapse and Mindfulness-based Relapse Prevention :
    How Stress leads to Relapse:
    link: Top 5 Triggers of Relapse and How to Avoid Them (Stress is the top trigger)
    link: Warning Signs of an Alcohol or Drug Relapse (This is important)

    Mindfulness aid Relapse Prevention and Healing:
    link: Mindfulness Therapy as an Addiction Treatment

    2/ Productivity Topic: How to deal with stress and burnout
    About Prioritizing your work and distribution our energy in work.

    An ultimate quote for a work day:
    “Of all the things that can boost emotions, motivation, and perceptions during a workday, the single most important is making progress in meaningful work.” - Harvard professor Teresa Amabile
    link: Dealing with Burnout Syndrome: Signs, Symptoms & Strategies
    link: The TEAM Framework of Productivity: Time, Energy, Attention & Motivation
    link: How Distractions At Work Take Up More Time Than You Think

    Later then I work for my Graduation Project and I was blamed irresponsible, cause i didn't get my job done the mutual projects with two partners - while I was busy with Urgent-Not Important task that took up so much mutual time. (It was because I was into something about the Old Knowledge I strive to learn again cause in my Nofap days I didn't pay enough attention, now I know nothing)

    We worked hard as hell later, fortunately we were done on time, thankfully to my partners, they were pushing me.

    But, he (my partner) really pushed me to the point that I must work without basic human needs (eating...). And then he didn't let me voice out the injustice, the conflict, talk to the teacher, or he didn't want to communicate to solve the interpersonal problem between us, and constantly told me my work wasn't good enough. I was robbed from my own hard work, and lose my voice, they don't let me talk about ... my own part. Just ... unfair.

    So i realize to the point that people can disregard me even when I did my f*cking best and it still doesn't satisfy them enough, BECAUSE I was late to the schedule, cause I did my PRIORITIES wrong - No matter how hard I work ... for nearly a month at the time (for my own works non-Project-relevant, and Graduation Project), they don't pay attention to how HARD i work, they only pay attention to THE RESULT. So, that's the harsh reality that made me freakin mad and cried when I argue with the male partner.

    I thought to myself, it's the first time, and also the last time I let people treat me this rude like this. Never again in my life no one can treat me like this ever - even that's anyone. Nope, just nope.

    So, my dad told me about the Eisenhower Matrix to classify, clarify what work I should get done first. I see it in the book "7 habits" of Stephen Covey. I read the book, till chapter 3, chapters of personal habits.

    This is my planner includes Eisenhower matrix for a week. I do this in a week frame - like Chapter 3 of "7 habits" book.

    My notes about What kind of tasks put in each of 4 Quadrants in Eisenhower Matrix:

    Planning may suitable for those who has to prioritize their tasks. If don't prioritize, I either went down the rabbit hole of doing things that Urgent but not Important, or Important but not Urgent @@

    6. Using Incognito Mode
    Please, don't use that mode for NSFW purpose @@ Stop using that mode. I myself don't want to encounter it in my life again. The 7th reason below will explain how.

    Maybe 6 reasons above basic enough in general for you. I think everyone will went through all these in their healing journey :)
    But for me, I need the 7. one. Everyone may figure out more reasons, more lessons of each relapse they've been through. Figure out the root reason is the most important step to do better next time :)

    7. Go to Incognito Mode for looking for an art drawing reference
    Before, I had created NSFW art to support the writer friend in the fandom. Fandom fiction is the final source that may contains NSFW content to me. So I noticed that I went to Incognito Mode for finding reference about anatomy... It was the real trick. So, my way-out of this problem is creating a NSFW Reference Folder ONLY for Art - it still remains inside my laptop, i backed it upon Cloud.

    Since I Created the NSFW Reference Folder ONLY for Art, I don't want go to Incognito Mode again.
    If there's someone like me, consider if this can help you free the worry and the urge of 'finding NSFW reference for art'.

    Here's how I create the NSFW Reference Folder. Warning: contains some trigger vocabularies. If you don't have problem with this, please go ahead to the 3/ part :)
    This costed me relapses. So, it's really dangerous, to be honest.

    I saved kinda sufficient quantity of NSFW b&w gifs of the g*nitals(50 ones of each gender). Then classified it in 2 folders Male & Female. I screen-capped all the gifs to images (one gif screen-capping dozens of images in different motions) and deleted all the gifs. (I didn't have time to do the Male gifs. I did all Female ones.)
    In each folder of each gender, I classified more sub folders (dozens of sub-folders) in the order of different types of: angles, pose, ... .
    Each sub-folder contains 1-2 images (max is 6 images), I really must narrowed my eye sight when look at the images (an image contains a group of images captured from a gif in motion).

    Also, I did go find all the reference of anatomy g*nitals by real drawing artist who sketched for educational purpose for real anatomy Art in sketching pics - all saved in a different folder called "genitals anatomy".
    After classifying everything in many sub-folders, I wrote a Notepad note placed in the main folder, that instructed:
    - Every step of drawing NSFW: I must go to "genital anatomy" of sketching refs first, so it helps me get a fairly sufficient idea how to draw it right. So I don't have to go into NSFW folder. If I still couldn't figure it out, I had to proceed to NSFW folder.
    - Why I go against the Nofap, saved these NSFW gifs. I must do this because I never want to go to Incognito Mode with the reason "to find the anatomy drawing reference".
    - Enumerate every sub-folder, its content in angles, ... to find the right reference ONLY for DRAWING. NO EXCEPTION.​

    I may...don't want to go into this Folder again.
    Now I don't do any art much, I need to focus on work.
    Even if I do, I will do fluffy ones of the characters with atmosphere.


    Attached Files:

    Last edited: Sep 9, 2021
  2. 3/ A few honest words I share how I feel about the healing journey, my family and my growth from now on to the future.

    About my family:
    Without my family, I could never reach to this state of being today. All of my credits go to them. They are the most wonderful people I have in life. And I have to keep trying and trying in the future, cause my parents are getting older every single day, dad by day.

    The important point is, my family treats me as the whole person. They never treat me as my flawed points of me, the addiction I had, or me being a tempered person I was - because of inferiority and the addiction psyche. They love me unconditionally, immensely. I'm forever being grateful to be my parent's child. They defended me for things I encountered in school - being left out, left behind in the small society, when I came home and burst into tears because of the mistreatment and loneliness I bear in Uni. Without them, my healing journey couldn't fulfill.

    Thanks to my mum, who helped my family lost weight I go to the proportional weight because of her. And my dad is keep working every day he's alive, so my family always got delicious food of mommy made to eat every day. My younger bro, he has an open-minded attitude towards life, a good bro. But every pair of siblings has conflict with each other throughout everyday life, and it's fine

    Without them, there's no 'me' today. I don't have any sufficient thank you for this huge encouragement they give me - even when i'm writing all this I must try my best.

    I know i'm really blessed more than those fellows in my Uni, they confront everything alone in a prosperous urban place like this. Ofc, I know I have things I have to work on then to improve, but talk about that later.


    I may have the good family situation (Genetics -50%). Now it's 40% actions and thoughts I create in healing journey, and 10% of external factors and circumstances.
    To all Nofap fellows reading this:
    About the addiction / bad habits people imbibe (consume) due to lack of knowledge and experience:

    Keep going on recovery. I believe it's all worth it Cause without going through this all, I cannot be this person who I am right now - who's righteously able to voice my standpoint, practice a "less-negative-thoughts, more grounded-assertive-caring" kind of connection to people.

    Figure it out how we want ourselves to be CAPABLE of, because we all are. Don't lose hope, keep going. I think if you really want, you can heal - I really mean it

    People, including me, can imbibe bad habits and addictions that we weren't aware enough of. To know and see the consequences - or the Manifestation of the addiction/bad habit into one's life, one can fully recover from it from time to time, and with their strong will. It's up to one's mentality, and it's a long life-time journey.

    Some people will suffer from addiction in not too long a time - several years in their life, some will have an almost entire life time. Age is just a number, so each person will have a timeline, and each person also has a different recovery journey. So as long as you keep going, that is fine.

    About What happned to me before, things I regret I couldn’t do like other people:
    So do I really have regrets about what happened to me before? Things I did missing out (Fear of Missing out – FOMO), the chances I couldn’t take at the time because Lack of capability, the relationships I thought they were “important” to me that needed me to build up, but turned out it was just the detrimental ashes, it was just I was the only one who felt the need to cling on people. A definition of relationship means to built up from both two-side, not just one-side.

    So I don’t feel regret anything. Cause at the time, I tried the best I could with what I know. And I didn’t know much at the time, so it’s fine :)

    Do you fellows resonate with this?
    The 3 stages of Nofap:
    What Nofap stage are you fellow in now? It's good if you can share :)

    Youtube video: The Nofap instruction manual - (The 3 stages of Nofap) by Seth Alexander
    Stage 1: Time - Time that take our brain to kick the first gear into long-term healing journey to achieve a state of gaining back control (To me, it was time from starting Nofap to 6 months of Nofap, at the end of 2019)
    Stage 2: Mental healing - Our brain tricks us that 'we can control our PMO consumption' until we realize it was a lie of our brain (To me, it was time from beginning 2020 till now)
    Stage 3: Start creating - What do you do once you’re no longer addicted to pornography?. Every day is a new canvas allow us use our time to freely create. What you're going to create?.

    About work:
    To me, My priority has always been my family and my dad's company - my work. So after all this, all this stuff i take time to write about, It may come to the conclusion about the PMO addiction.

    As said, my dad is 58, my mum is 50 in 2021. They're getting older, and i'm the first child in the house. My dad he can instruct me well, but in the future, to hold the company firm, that has to be my work.

    About my view about long life-time Nofap lifestyle, my life view back then and now:
    To apply Nofap lifestyle in my daily life, I still keep preserving the value I believe in Nofap. I now understand what it’s like for people to have a balance psyche, they can be confident, assertive, pro-active, forceful in whatever they do in their very daily life.
    • My life view back then:
    When I was in Nofap stage of mental healing, I was eager to better myself, to achieve better, to get more things done, be sincere with every people, every connection I have. I looked at my life through my DRIVE, that I can be much better than what I was, that I could absolutely thrive for better things, better mental health, I could take simple step, step by step, day by day, week by week in the journey of healing. I really did cherish everything I have in my life, my family, people that support me because it’s me, no matter what I had been through. I was always eager to LIVE, to SURVIVE back then, to treat people and myself an open-minded and open heart – no matter how hard it is, no matter how Nofap is so freakin hard to me at the time, that was actually the DRIVE for me to keep moving, keep climbin, keep crawling, keep being beaten down and keep standing right back up, and keep going forward on life – NO MATTER WHAT IT IS.

    That’s the way I tried to cherish my life, my hard-work on healing, to the hope that someday, my future self will look back and thank me in the past for her effort. I was always confronting, never back up even though how alone I was in school, in lunch time, how sad it was when things turning its back on myself, when things didn’t work out as I want, how I was rejected, left out, left behind, how I was misunderstood most of the time because those confident people never understand what my mental went through at the time… Those moments that gave me disappointment, but also give me the DRIVE to do better next time, and just one motto “Keep going, keep going, keep going” that always keep me going every time I failed.

    That was an epic mentality I had back then, in the day my mental was really fragile and susceptible.
    • My life view I need to have now:
    So, speaking to today, I must keep going with that mentality, that I can be in charge of what happens for me. I must keep cherishing how blessed my life and everyone around me and on this Nofap community who keep supporting me no matter what happens. I must keep continuing to fight for what I believe is true. Maybe in today time, I may loosen the epic mentality I had back then. My mind doesn’t really in the state of Healing like I was back then.

    But I believe, through more upcoming work, it’s gonna need more concentration, hard work ethic, right direction, more confronting, more and more from me. I believe the society always need more from us, more money to buy enough food, more materials for sustaining good life, a good mental life. So yeah, it’s gonna be hard, and sometimes I may lost in the wrong direction of life – I have no idea now.

    The work I need to do now is: figure it out what I’m gonna “create”. It’s maybe a vision, about step by step what I need to take lessons or learn through doing in field, knowledge and work that I overlooked before, gain more working-in-field experience, dealing-with-people experience, what work I need to get it done… and a lot of things I have yet to learn.

    I don’t want to stay in boredom – as in video Seth Alexander said “Boredom create relapses” – It’s true.
    As me right now have to right this Nofap article in English (not my first language) for freaking 7 days without doing anything else… really create boredom and intrusive thoughts for me. So I’m always in the state of “get things done, one at a time” – otherwise my dad did question “Why the frick you do the “personal work” for so freaking long?” and I have no idea how to explain.

    Last edited: Sep 12, 2021
  3. Toni7

    Toni7 Fapstronaut

    You come a long way I understand that victim mentality. Now is your second chance in life. Just keep on going. Keep grinding!
  4. Thank you Toni man. You too, must keep on going :)
  5. 4/ Growth, applied my type ISTJ from MBTI 16 personalities
    • A brief explanation and need-to-know terms (for all 16 types of people) about MBTI 16p. How me as ISTJ approach in work, my blind-spots, my effort to cover my blind-spots.
    • Path for growth from now on to be a healthy individual.
    A brief explanation and need-to-know terms (for all 16 types of people) about MBTI 16p.
    As an ISTJ known for "doing things by the book" stereotype, but I mean, I see its manifestation in my friends and in myself. So i think this MBTI framework will be helpful in your self-development journey:
    • You can understand yourself more so you don't have to "hate" ourselves because our weaknesses are people' strengths.
    • Identify your weakness and strengths so we can find the suitable way to achieve the result we want - based on our available ability (our Function Stack).

    MBTI framework is a self-personality development tool. Knowing about your type, learning about the Function Stack and Cognitive Functions you possess is about how your psyche works, what strength areas you possess and need to embrace, what weakness you need to work on to have more grounded, healthy psyche of an individual - apply both in treating people in life, and in actual working job.

    Besides, if you ask your friend to take the test, you can see how they work, what they're excellent at - through their Cognitive Functions, so we can learn from how they function to achieve the wanted result - in work or life.

    First, taking the MBTI 16 personalities test:

    So, before going into anything further, you take the MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator) test first:

    16 personalities test: Free Personality Test | 16Personalities
    This test provide you 4 letters of your type and the Assertive / Turbulence trait. Actually this trait is non-relevant to the original MBTI framework - it relates to the Big5 framework - but still, this trait is helpful to let you identify you're turbulent or assertive to work productivity, meeting deadlines on work. So you can work on, figure ways to improve your capability, what methods we can try to achieve better result next time.

    This is my type ISTJ-T - the result I took on May 23th 2021.
    But now, my mentality was mildly changed, so I took the test again and the result change:
    So you can see the result changed. I become more assertive, and this test site mistook me as an Extrovert (Extrovert in MBTI is not the definition : someone likes to spending time with others - but it is the definition: Someone with an Extroverted dominant function - which I'm clearly not.).

    Or you can take the test in Trunity.com to get just your type right:
    Myers & Briggs' 16 Personality Types | Truity

    This test is more accurate - more questions than the 16personality.com test, and it's for finding your suitable career suits your personality.
    So in Trunity test I took September 5th 2021 (recently), my type is ISTJ.

    Before going further, let's take a look at this table. It tells you about MBTI meaning common terms that may different from usual terms (not MBTI meaning) we saw in normal conversations:
    So this table mentioned :
    • 8 Cognitive Functions (4 Perceiving Functions: Si Se Ni Ne, 4 Judging Functions: Ti Te Fi Fe)
    • Main 4-Function Stack (top 4 functions you use in your whole life) and All-8-Function Stack (has Main 4-Function Stack and also has 4 bottom functions will manifest as your weakness, when you're in stress)
    About the role of each of 8 functions in Order of your function stack: From Hero (dom) function to Demon (8th) function: Cognitive Functions - A Simple Explanation


    • Dominant Function: which you use the most time of your life, without even think about it.
    • Auxiliary Function and Tertiary Function: you choose to use them when needed.
    • Till Inferior Function: which you use like 2% time of your life, or even when you meet stress.
    • Looping and Gripping: Basically a “loop” or “grip” are behavior patterns that happen when you're super frustrated and stressed, pressured. During this, you use your weakest functions in unhealthy ways.
      • Loop: the person stuck in the loop of the 1st Function and 3rd Function. (As ISTJ, it's Si Fi loop for me)
      • Grip: the person bring the 4th Function from Subconscious state into Conscious state - in stress and unhealthy way. (As ISTJ, it's Ne grip for me)

    What are 8 Cognitive Functions?
    This is the basic, short, brief description of 8 Cognitive Functions:
    (brief reading about 8 functions) 8 MBTI functions explain how personality tests act in the world | Well+Good

    In crispy images for a simple look:
    This image will help you get how the functions work:

    Attached Files:

    Last edited: Sep 9, 2021
  6. So, what is the right result of your type?
    It has to look at your possessed Dominant Function you had when you were 0 -> 20 years old. Online test can mistype you, if you don't look at your Function Stack.

    I'll take the example as my case: ISTJ or ESTJ?
    ISTJ development from Birth to Midlife:
    • Dominant Function (1st): Si (Introverted Sensing)
    • Auxiliary Function (2nd): Te (Extroverted Thinking)
    • Tertiary Function (3rd): Fi (Introverted Feeling)
    • Inferior Function (4th): Ne (Extroverted iNtuition)
    Source: ISTJ Development - Personality Central (this site also has other 15 types)

    ESTJ development from Birth to Midlife:
    • Dominant Function (1st): Te (Extroverted Thinking)
    • Auxiliary Function (2nd): Si (Introverted Sensing)
    • Tertiary Function (3rd): Ne (Extroverted iNtuition)
    • Inferior Function (4th): Fi (Introverted Feeling)
    Source: ESTJ Development - Personality Central (this site also has other 15 types)

    So, according to the Dominant Function I use from my birth to age 20, I use Si (Introverted Sensing) the most. I tend to pay attention to details, to risk, detail-oriented. That's why I can draw realistic well - the kind of drawing needs your attention to details.
    I do everything in Order, from writing Reports, doing my major work of projects I was in, or... writing this article right now. Things must be in order, what's first, what's next. That's why I value planning, schedule (those Judgers xxxJ has this trait).
    People can find ISTJ boring and so "by the book":) Whatever, because that's the way I carry the assigned work I'm responsible for. :)


    More about every phrase of a type. Example here is my type ISTJ.
    Source: ISTJ Personality Profile: In-Depth Profile & Analysis (this site also has other 15 types) - this site also explain how each function plays out in a person life.

    So, my type I carry is ISTJ.

    1. About Dichotomy I/E, S/N, T/F, J/P:
    Most online MBTI test will type people due to this, without using the Cognitive Functions, so they're not really accurate. Studying Functions is an expectation.

    2. About Loop and Grip behavior patterns:
    The grip state:
    This has other types too.
    In Nofap journey relate:
    At the beginning of Uni, I fell into the "Ne (Extroverted iNtuition) grip" by came up with the idea of ... PMO to boost confidence.
    Given the context at the time, I was real lost and had no clue why I fell into this major, where too many males and very few females, unusual and kind-of toxic environment at the time to my young mind to see the mistreatment of other male classmates to the beautiful girl in my class.

    That's an example of Ne grip in my Nofap journey.

    The loop state:
    ISTJ Si-Fi Loop: What It Means and How to Break Free - Personality Growth (this site has other 15 types)
    "The ISTJ in this loop becomes hyper critical of past events and can see all of the negative things which have occurred and are likely to occur again. "
    In Nofap journey relate: In Si-Fi loop, it happened most in the Mental Healing stage, while I was really focus in healing and try my best to ... the idea of mending/healing all the bad human connection I didn't do well with the male classmates. I pay attention to those details (Si - Introverted Sensing - WHAT WAS) of the relationship in the past, how they treat me, how they communicate to me, and compare to my value I deserve to be treated well, what I believe is true about my value (Fi - Introverted Feeling - WHAT I VALUE).
    Results? I may try my best to mend those connection, to try to communicate, talk more to them, but the result is - be a little bit better - but still. I can't change what people think about me. One classmate still mistreat me as the same way before after all my effort and communication.
    Now I unfriended him - that's called Te (Extroverted Thinking) - break out of the Si-Fi loop. Or, I can talk to him as a way of Te. Idk what future holds... Let's see.

    That's an example of Si-Fi loop in my Nofap journey.

    "Si-Fi loop could manifest for ISTJ is being stuck in the past because the past felt good. Maybe longing for the past or idealizing the past, reaffirming beliefs that you made about yourself maybe in the past and just kind of getting stuck and feeling like you can't move forward with your life. Because of these things that happened in the past and so I feel like the way out of this is so Te and Ne could find ways to implement what you do in the present moment. So Te can find ways you can efficiently externalize this and Ne can theorize multiple possibilities of how you could potentially get what you liked."
    Source: (8) Cognitive Function Loops of Thinkers - YouTube - This also has 15 types on the channel.

    I can see that I sometimes get stuck in the loop. So the way to break is Te and Ne for me to balance myself back.

    You can apply to your case and see how the loops of your own type will manifest in your real life. But yeah, life can look back for reflection but must be lived forward, so after a time of everything happens, we can realize all the reasons why it happened like that.

    3. Some Infographics of a type (This has other 15 personality types):


    Google Image: How to speak ISTJ type


    4. About Turbulence & Assertive subtypes (of 16personalities.com):
    As said, knowing about Turbulence and Assertive helps you know how you can bear stress in the work place. Or stress in every day life.
    I was an ISTJ-T, and I'm aware of this by making weekly Eisenhower matrix in my planner in the 5. Stress part. And knowing that I may not good at handling time, make myself aware better, make myself:
    • pay attention at the right work that needs to be done first in a row of tasks,
    • try to be more Assertive in my life,
    • less stressful or still remain calm and capable in stressful situation.
    Link: Assertive Logistician (ISTJ-A) vs. Turbulent Logistician (ISTJ-T) | 16Personalities (This also has other 15 personality types)

    Link: Identity: Assertive vs. Turbulent | 16Personalities
    Assertive (-A) Personality: "Assertive individuals are self-assured. They aim for goals and want successful results. According to Assertive personality types, what’s done is done. If overconfident, these personality types may come to believe their confidence overshadows what others want."

    Turbulent (-T) Personality: "Always feeling the need to do more, to have more, and to be more, Turbulent individuals can also get caught up in endless thoughts of criticisms, slights, or regrets. This can either bog them down or motivate them to do better."

    Link: The Turbulent Personality: Don’t Worry, Be Happy? | 16Personalities
    "In the end, people with the Turbulent type variant would do well to accept themselves , even if such acceptance entails an understanding that they may never be able to match the lackadaisical, stress-free existence of someone with an Assertive personality . Instead, Turbulent types may wish to look for satisfaction not in satisfaction itself, but rather, in the search for satisfaction: the quest, in itself, being their reward."

    So yeah, I may try to be more assertive, active without going over-confident. That's a good trait to have. :)

    Last edited: Sep 10, 2021
  7. 4. About Turbulence & Assertive subtypes (of 16personalities.com):
    About Being Assertive:
    Source: Are You Assertive? | Learning and development | wisemovement

    Or the test here: Assertiveness Test - This test has 21 questions, helpful for you to imagine the situation.
    Here I got the 50/100 result of Assertive. Cause i'm in off time now, but it reminds me to be more assertive than i was before.

    Ways to communicate with assertive attitude that worth to attempt:
    How to Be Assertive - Communication Skills Training From MindTools.com
    "Use Assertive Communication Techniques:
    • Use "I" Statements
    • Empathy
    • Escalation
    • Ask for More Time
    • Change Your Verbs
    • Be a Broken Record
    • Scripting"
    I can see those techniques and mindset really being so helpful and brilliantly specific to follow through.

    5. Combining Functions in MBTI
    Since we all have 4 functions for the most of the time. Functions can be combined, and we use all functions in every action, every manifestation of our life simultaneously at one time.
    Perceiving Functions pairs like: Si + Ne = Se or Ni, Ni + Se = Si or Ne - can combine to each other.
    Judging Functions pairs like: Te+ Fi = Ti or Fe, Ti + Fe = Te or Fi - can combine to each other.

    For example:
    When I troubleshooting something in a Project - a skill that require Ti (Introverted Thinking) (my ISTP friend (Ti domimant), she's best at this). So I learn from her, when I look at a code that had something wrong that it couldn't work, If I just Si-Te like normal, I would ... go on Google (external resource) to search what's wrong with the code, if anyone meet the similar situation. My ISTP Ti dom friend, she looked thoroughly through every code line to find what's wrong, what's the hole - lack of consistency in the code, and find the right spot to fix, then the code run smoothly. That was kinda superb of her brain. (My INTP ISTP - Ti dom friends, they women all good at coding).
    So I think out of the box - deviant from my Si-Te nature wanted to "get everything done right". Si-Te is good for learning new things, but not at fixing things already there. ISTJ tends to "If it's not broken, it will keep things as it is" and "preferring collecting objects rather than interact with them" (cre: What is an ISTJ? - YouTube at second 6:23).
    The actual thing I did is: I looked at the reasons, the phenomena of the problem, and just list all the possible solutions in my head to resolve the problem. And it accidentally worked at the first solution I tried. I tried to put value (read the catalog (the value) of the instrument to see what I possibly missed - Fi) and executed the fixing code (Te).


    Source: How do the Functions look combined? | Myers Briggs [MBTI] Amino - It has 8 pairs of combining functions, it is one pair.

    So, I know that a lot of things in my life need to be figuring it out by ... thinking out of the box - out of what I normally think. Especially in my major - Electrical Engineering, I have to use all the Si Te Fi Ne - functions I have in order, to maintain a balance psyche and create more value in life. (like the Stage 3 of Nofap)

    6. Some notes about personality I found in the book (a bit advance) (link download below)

    The book download PDF: MBTI Manual - A Guide To The Development and use of... [PDF] - Book "MBTI Manual - A Guide To The Development and use of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator" for all 16 personality types.

    Actually, when I found out this, it was kinda mind-blowing to me as well :emoji_astonished::emoji_hushed:


    So, I know what I'm at the Lower types or Higher types which Folk Concept Scale on the 20 Folk Concept Scales of the CPI.
    From that I may know what i was lack at when i'm learning further in the future to be able to hold my dad's company firm. I think it's a great way to know more about yourself.

    There are all 16 personality types in the book, feel free to check out. I know this is kinda a bit advance to you. But I want to introduce what I know for you to have an easier approach to your self-discovery and development journey, as I take months to know all this.

    7. THE MOST IMPORTANT PART - I longed to introduce: Your Growth, Development - of course, based on MBTI framework

    This is to me, a must-read resource for anyone - actually use MBTI as a personality development tool. Because that's all MBTI for.

    MBTI is about understand yourself and also, understand your people around you. How you had conflicts with people, how you see people doing better, excellent at things than you, have better results than you, how you see people are much nicer, more easygoing than you... MBTI can at least make sense those things.
    Knowing MBTI can explain your psyche, give you a framework to understand how our mind works, to be aware of our behavior, thinking patterns, to act better, to have more balanced psyche of your mind.
    And if you can lucky enough to get your friends agree to take the test (I did ask some friends to take it), you understand them, and maybe learn from them :)

    The must-read resource (of my type): ISTJ Personal Growth - This site have all 16 personality types of Personal Growth, check the Personal Growth of your type here.

    Explanation of Problems:
    "The common ISTJ problem of Introverted Sensing overtaking the ISTJ's personality to the point that all other functions become slaves to Introverted Sensing.
    A more "whole" personality needs to have a good balance between its dominant and auxiliary functions. For an ISTJ, the dominant Introverted Sensing needs to be well-supported by the auxiliary Extraverted Thinking function. If Extraverted Thinking exists only to support the desires of Introverted Sensing , than neither function is being used to its potential."

    "Introverted Sensing (Si) is basically a data-gathering function. It does not in itself analyze this data for meaning or connection--it just takes it in as information. In order to sort through and make use of this information , a judging function (Te in the case of ISTJ) must be applied to do the analysis and ordering of the data."
    Google image search: data knowledge information

    If Extroverted Thinking (Te) is not developed well, this may include dismissing the importance of relationships, or pushing away anything that threatens the ISTJ's highly introverted way of life. In this manner, Extraverted Thinking (Te) is used against the external world, rather than against the ISTJ's internal data. An ISTJ personality owner has become extremely selfish and unable to consider the importance or validity of anyone else's perspective. "

    To grow as an individual, the ISTJ needs to focus on applying their judgement against information that they have gathered, rather than against single facts or ideas coming from others. Is the motivation for judging something to be able to understand its usefulness in the world, or to dismiss it? Too often, an ISTJ will judge something without properly understanding it, and with the intention of dismissing it.

    Seek first to understand, then to judge.

    The better, more "whole" use of Extraverted Thinking for the ISTJ would be to use it to order and evaluate its own rich store of data, and therefore generate useful solutions to problems and efficient systems. Not to use to place judgement on other's ideas and dismissing it."

    My friend @Narcissa (hehe I got you cameo in my article :D ) she did really read this Personal Growth of her personality type (her type is different from me) and she did agree deeply with that, understand herself more and accept who she is, and know more about the personality type she owns :).

    My favorite Youtuber making skits about MBTI:
    Frank James - YouTube - He's the most famous MBTI sketches Youtuber I've ever seen :)
    dear kristin - YouTube - Kristin kits I watch them all :emoji_joy:, my best recommendation, really funny, accurate and brilliant :)
    Love Who - YouTube - Nathan of Love Who talks fast, crispy and great conveyor of all types :)
    Casual Cognition - YouTube - I learn of my type from here

    Basically, I learn from multiple sources and mostly about ... my own ISTJ type to know more about my type framework. Now I have a fair view about it, I data-gathering (Si - Introverted Sensing) enough. And now, it's for Te (Extroverted Thinking), I'm working from now on to have the balance psyche in work and life.

    Ending my article:
    I know it's a real long article. I take basically 8 days to fully finish it (English is not my first language). I hope it being useful for fellow Nofap reading this. That's the best reward for me :emoji_blush:

    And here is some quotes I feel really true to encourage you keep going on Nofap journey, and adapt the healing mindset in our work and life. Keep thriving, keep going, keep that epic mentality of recovery. Not just from PMO, but for everything you encounter in life :D
    It's true, really :D

    I feel this. I cannot think of my life otherwise without all the things I've been through. And keep continuing to go on :)

    Yes, I think we all agree with this :)


    Yep. After looking at all things I've been through, there're lessons I've learnt, may it took me hardship, tears, bad feelings... It's all worth it for me then :)

    (continue) I have 2 pics more :)

    Attached Files:

  8. Ending my article (continue):
    About relationships I cannot mend though I tried my best. I don't know what future holds, let keep at it then. But this mindset really did help me through those days of thinking I could change people's perspective of me.

    But now, I'd rather put my effort and energy into actions, visible, quantified results more than qualitative remarks and opinions.


    Yep. At the end, there's a wiser you in the mirror :)

    Officially end my article here. There's no "(continue)" in this.

    But a start from "a new journey" of life.

    I'm still here, may not give likes or being online as I could before, but still be here for the accountability and support. Cause it's a long life-time journey, not just Nofap, but being inspired from Nofap, inspired from everything, the cosmos around even the smallest, most mundane thing, every people around me, my family, real life friends, Nofap friends...

    That's the thing to keep me going on my journey, from now on :)

    Attached Files:

  9. Narcissa

    Narcissa Fapstronaut

    Really long article but you covered almost everything❤
    Thanks for your efforts:)
  10. Ohh thank you so much lovely Narcissa <333 hope it helps you a bit easier when discovering yourself :)
    One Eyed Owl and Narcissa like this.

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