My partner messed up, I'm feeling pissed

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Deleted Account, Nov 6, 2016.

  1. My partner confessed that he acted out with a girl he bought on Friday.

    I'm feeling really let down and I can't sort out my feelings. I know I need to be a good partner and learn my own feelings of being let down deal on their own.

    What do I do to support him without turning the attention on me right now? I think he needs my support more than I need him.
     
  2. rich899

    rich899 Fapstronaut

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    Are you upset because you feel like he can't support you now? Maybe you can get extra support from another AP while still encouraging him? He definitely needs encouragement now.
     
  3. PsycheMagician

    PsycheMagician Fapstronaut

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    Sometimes when you support someone you end up helping yourself. Teaching is the best way to learn. Support him and you will feel stronger.
     
    rich899 likes this.
  4. Thanks Rich and Psyche.
    Rich, I think I was actually jealous that he got some. But a few days later in group therapy (we are both in the same sex addicts group) he admitted to the room that he messed up and that the worst part was letting me down. That helped to hear him say that.
    Phyche, how right you are. I knew that answer then but couldn't see it yet. But looking back, over the past month, I am so grateful for being able to help him. I get a lot of pleasure out of helping people, and his life has just been upside down. He needs me, and without knowing it, I need him. We've become great buds over the past month; something neither of us have had before. I see now where Dr's talk about the crucial importance of group therapy. It's not group THERAPY, it's GROUP therapy. Sharing stories of struggles and successes. Giving support by listening, you don't even need to respond, just listen. And my offering suggestions, bouncing ideas around, and just talking it out.
     
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