My story is kinda simple. I have always been sexually stimulated even as a young child not knowing what I was doing. This slowly evolved as I realized that I wanted to look at porn and did this binding in my room under a blanket. This came and went with the times as I became more wanting and less wanting but the past maybe 2 years of my life have been plagued by these constant urges. As I sat next to my girlfriend of 5 years (that I have had some sexual contact with without fully having sex) this past Valentine's day I found myself wanting to look at porn. This feeling was painful as I finally realized that I was beginning to want to look at porn greater than I wanted contact with my girlfriend. This shook me to my core and I realized that I have to come to a conclusion on where I stand and what type of husband I am going to be. While I will not be married until I get out of college (nursing school done in 2023), I want to begin now and not only be the best boyfriend but best future husband to the woman I have now or the woman God has for me in the future. I think this starts by being loyal and I know that the path porn takes me on will be one of cheating on my wife someday and it hurts me to think that I could be that man some day. So this is the beginning of my journal, this marks day 3 and I hope to lost everyday. If you have questions or comments I'd love to talk I want to be engaged and am more than open to conversation. God bless.