My personal fight against my addiction

[Nmpgnt]

Hi everyone, Today I just feel I wanna share my story.
I've been struggling with P and M pretty much since I was a kid (around 14) and this lead to have many issues related to sociality and relationships when I was younger. Somehow I've been able to start a serious relationship almost 10 years ago and we're still together. As you can imagine the P and M problems showed up pretty soon and almost made me loose my girlfriend a couple of times. I kinda found an unstable equilibrium between my relationship and my addiction (even if I've never completely realised it was so until a couple of days ago) and this helped me to regain the trust of my girlfriend also thanks to her patiance and to my will to keep it "under control".
For apparenltly no reasons I had a bad relapse this summer and I spent an horrible month loosing against my addiction. I wanna stop it before it affects my relationship again but now I fear that it's already too late. I feel I've already asked a lot to my partner and I'd like to fight this monster before it gets too strong and before it ruins my relationship and my life. Do you think it's too late? Is it possible to make this battle without directly involving my partner?

It's been a couple of days since I decided to quit P and M and I already feel better. Sometimes is just really hard to live with this sense of guilt but I understood that this can lead me to feel a looser and watching P again so I'm trying to stay positive and keeping my mind busy.

I hope my story was comprehensible but I wrote it straight from my heart and mind.

Thank you everyone for the support and I hope I'll be able to support others soon

 

[The Shift]

Good for you for accepting that it’s a problem my friend. It’s never too late to get out of an abusive addiction like PM. You’re not too far gone to get better ever. Thats the shame and addiction speaking lies to you.

It’s entirely up to you but I highly suggest sharing with your partner. She has the right to know you have an issue and all the information to make her own decisions. It will suck it can possibly break her heart but it does also present a chance to finally be truthful with her.

you definitely need to speak with a counselor or a trusted friend at the very least. You need to have accountability and people in your corner. I know for a fact I would not have made it even this far without my support system this forum included.

best of luck my friend I’m praying for you to kick this

 

[ANewFocus]

Thanks for joining us. I am hopeful to see success on your journey.

 

[Real Jerry Seinfeld]

I don't think there's any harm in telling her that you're struggling with PM again. But you'll know best how she will react and how best to tell her. It may help you recover if she's aware of it.