My Porn Addiction

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Max Wulf, Oct 26, 2017.

  1. Max Wulf

    Max Wulf New Fapstronaut

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    I am currently in highschool and since I went through puberty, there hasn't been a period of less than two weeks that I haven't watched porn. I first thought that this wasn't a problem because I thought it made me more prepared for sex. About four weeks ago the time came, I couldn't maintain an erection for more than a minute and it was really embarrassing. I then thought to myself afterwards that I would never use porn again, but 4 weeks later I'm still very addicted. Can anyone give me advice or tips on how to quit, cause I really want to.
     
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  2. Such Small Hands

    Such Small Hands Fapstronaut

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    Two weeks was my barrier, too. I joined NoFap and was able to extend that barrier. Still fighting the urges every day, man.

    Tips? Stop watching it. Do whatever you can to make that happen. At the end of the day, the bargain you make is this: my life with porn, or my life without porn. Is your life WITH porn satisfactory? Clearly not. Re-orient.

    Sorry if you find that unhelpful. I don't want to be too specific, is all. Every one has their own journeys. If you have specific problems to address, I'd be happy to lend my two cents. Otherwise, good luck, man. Stay strong.
     
  3. Gewinner98

    Gewinner98 Fapstronaut

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    These barriers exist only in your head, broh. I was in the same situation. I was with a girl after years of watching porn, could n t hold an erection. It was very embarassing and then I went on no pmo 30 days. I ve finally lost my virginity and thought I m fullyy cured. So after that I kept watching porn, lost any motivation in dating real girls. And when after a year the moment came, the erection was even worse than the year ago.
    So here is what I want to tell you: if I had quited pmo back then, i would have a lot of sex now and nomproblems with my boner for sure. Watching porn makes ed problem(if you have them) worse every day. So, just think about it. If you quit now, you will probably get laid in a year or so and your ed problems will be gone. If you dont, your PIED will surely become much worse. So, it s up to you. You must decide what you want more.
     
  4. mike1993

    mike1993 Fapstronaut

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    I have the same problem..so PMO is the problem that causes ED ?? And I need to wait like 1 year to get rid of it ? :(
     
  5. It's true that PMO is 'all in the head', and it would be great if there was just a way to change one's mind and leave it all behind - BUT it is hard-wired in the form of neural pathways that have to break down [and remain broken down] if PMO is to become a thing of the past.

    [1] The first step, after deciding that you really want to quit PMO, is to give yourself a reason to quit beyond 'feeling bad'. You might try imaging life in five years time: five with PMO and five without. In the five years with PMO scenario you might imagine yourself having changed nothing, gained nothing, and regretting not having done anything. In the five years without PMO you might imagine yourself as a better, healthier person, happy to be five years PMO free.
    This positive image of your future self is important.

    [2] The second step is optional - but I think it is good. It is optional because it may only work if you have some sort of religious background, and it involves discussion/confession with a cleric from your church/synagogue/temple etc. Essentially, admitting your error to such a person, stating that you are now on the way to recovery, and seeking advice in confidence, is [a] partly why those people took that job and they will be happy to help and , it puts your recovery on a serious level. I think a lot of NoFap attempts fail because people [I was one] say NO MORE - but only to themselves. A PMO-free life is to improve REAL LIFE, and telling a real life person that you have quit and want guidance is a good thing to do. It also has the effect of making the decision to quit REAL and not a whim after some shabby PMO episode. An accountability partner could also help - or an accountability group. Just be careful that people with the same issue don't start making excuses for one another - nor you for them.

    [3] DELETE IT ALL. Every single movie, gif, jpeg - the lot - ALL of it. It goes. DELETE DELETE DELETE. Seriously, recovering alcoholics do not keep vodka in the house. There are two reasons for this - that was the first one. The second is that you will NEVER look at it again anyway. That is your attitude to it. 'I won't be needing this again'. BOOM! Trashed - all of it. Do it in one massive burn-out, a napalming of your P reserves. It all goes, and it will NEVER be replaced. You might not need step [2] above - but you need this step 100%

    [4] BLOCK PMO sites. I used K9 with the password deliberately lost to prevent unlocking it. I also have an adblocker and a program that limits time on a website. Should I have missed anything with K9, I can add them to the time-limiter and set the time limit to its lowest [a few seconds], then the site is blocked for the next 24 hours. When blocking sites, use keywords to block potential problem sites. On my PC, no newspaper article discussing P is accessible if the address contains the word P. Same with a lot of other 'trigger' words. Once done, parts of the internet your addiction draws you too will be closed. And adult sites includes chat, dating, craigslist, ANYTHING COMPROMISING.

    [5] Another option, but a good one: Ditch the smartphone. Really. Step back in time with a flip-phone that is only good for calls and texts. If anyone asks, point to certain celebrities who have already done this in order to get away from the 'noise' of the internet. You are opting for less tech in your life - you are ahead of the curve. That's all they need to know, and your mental health is more important than their fashion sense. Your unused smartphone can be traded in or sealed away in a box/envelope as an emergency phone when travelling etc. But cut it out of your life.

    [6] Get an education. PMO is the product of an abusive industry and your involvement in it helps keep it going. There are many good books written by good journalists out there about P and how it ruins lives. You don't need to be an expert, but you do need to wise up to the effects of what is seen by some as acceptable. It isn't, and not just for moral reasons - it damages esteem, mental health, and lives, and not only of the users. There are TED talks on this, some by authors of good books.

    [7] Fill up your time with something positive - PMO wastes time. What are you going to do now with all that time? Take up any of the following: exercise, an art, a language, an instrument, go out more - you can go out in order to pursue a hobby: language meet-ups, music classes, gyms or bootcamps. But DO SOMETHING.

    [8] Have an emergency plan. PMO urges can strike anywhere. Have some quick easy thing to do when they strike. This can be as easy as going for a walk, to calling a friend to arrange going out for a pint or a gig, doing some shopping, cooking a meal from scratch - or even just making tea/coffee, or some impromtu cabin exercises. But KNOW THE URGE and TAKE ACTION. E.g. if you feel the urge in bed, recognise it and GET OUT OF BED. You'll be surprised how quick an urge goes when circumstances change.

    [9] Don't be too tough on yourself. There are lots of guys here called 'Fight-Wolf' or 'Thor-Warrior' or 'strong-whatever' and while it is good to have a positive image of yourself, that image should not be a cartoon. You need a realistic vision of yourself as a functioning human being. This site also has women struggling with PMO and it is notable how they do not invent superhero images for themselves, but simply want to be better versions of themselves. If you're a guy, be red-blodded, but that comes with a LOT of self-respect, and consideration for yourself. ALWAYS REMEMBER: you are becoming better by leaving the burden of PMO behind. The world can be blessed with that better version of you if you keep on the path of no-PMO.

    [10] Treat PMO and its ilk with UTTER CONTEMPT. Stop thinking of it as a temptation and start seeing it as pathetic garbage. Hate it. Find the many good reasons to hate it. Ruin any chance there might be of 'befriending ' it again. Set yourself high above it as you take you proper place as a decent, skilled, confident person. See PMO for what it is - someone else's bullshit - but not yours. Not any more. You are free, and free for a reason.

    I wish whoever reads this very good luck. PMO is no fun and breaking the cycle can be tough, so you have to be strict. The addiction is literally fused into the neural pathways in your brain, so leaving P is vital to allow these pathways to become stale and wither from lack of use. There is a lot of info out there on how this pathway operates.
    But fundamentally, whoever you are, and wherever you are from, you were not born to wind up in the clutches of PMO. This is your one, unlikely chance of life - don't risk losing out by giving yourself to PMO. You know you want to quit, so why not? Say to yourself: I AM NOT THE KIND OF PERSON WHO PMOs - and that is the truth.
    As of now, you are PMO free - just keep it that way.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 28, 2017
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  6. Gewinner98

    Gewinner98 Fapstronaut

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    Not necessarily, nobody can tell you this, because everyone is different. Some people can have normal sex after a month no pmo, some people need more time.
    The mostimportant thing is - you have to quit it. Absolutely. If you don t do it now, you ll regret about it very hardly in the future(as you already have pied, it ll become worse and worse if you keep watching porn)
     
  7. Torn

    Torn Fapstronaut

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    @Max Wulf congrats on 11 days! It's awesome you're confronting this addiction at such a young age. Apparently our brains are even more malleable when we're younger, so it's smart to kick this addiction and create healthier neuropathways now.

    @Misneach this is brilliant advice that I believe should be a pinned post somewhere on these boards (maybe in the "Rebooting" section?) for all to see. I wouldn't have normally come across it but found it in a roundabout way (can't remember how). Thank you for taking the time to share your hard-earned wisdom.

     
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  8. @Torn I have taken your advice and reposted my list in a thread of its own in the Rebooting section. I am glad you found it interesting/useful. Congratulations on your continuing success :)
     
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  9. Torn

    Torn Fapstronaut

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    Thanks @Misneach! I’m am SO, and I’ve forwarded your post to my bf as he might find it useful, too.

    You’re only 1 day away from reaching 500 days, a huge milestone!!! Congratulations to you on your enormous accomplishment!!!
     
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  10. Italics the Bold

    Italics the Bold Fapstronaut

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    What are your thoughts on psubs? I still use erotic fiction which seems okay for me because i only use it once or twice a week and not necessarily to MO. On the other hand, perhaps it stops me from closing the door to erotica once and for all?
     
  11. @
    I am unsure if your question is for me or for @Torn but if it is for me, then:
    I don't really know what psubs are specifically, but I surmise it stands for 'P Substitutes'. You talk about erotic literature. I don't read erotic literature, so I cannot really comment on whether or not it had helped/hindered my life post-PMO. I have spoken to people on this site who are triggered by things such as adverts or scenes in TV shows or movies that are not P by the normal definition, but neither are they far removed from it. Perhaps erotic literature could be like this for some people.
    Maybe psubs could be described as 'decaffeinated P' or 'nicotine patch P' in that they provide something of what P provides without running the risks of the real thing. That said, P operates on a psychological level and 'detoxifying' is not the same as giving up nicotine or any other 'drug'. The chemical changes in a P users brain are a response to a visual stimulus [part of the difficulty in rebooting is the 'can't be unseen' factor, where images in our memories can act as VR stimuli]. Owing to this, erotic literature could create mental images that might act like P as we commonly define it. In that sense it is not a substitute, so much as a form of P. On the other hand, literature does not involve the exploitation of people as does the manufacture of P. The problem could remain, though, that even in a fictitious form the nature of erotic fiction is that it maintains other people to be sexual objects as opposed to complex beings who are not always 'in the mood' when we are.
    I won't deny that erotic literature, like any form of literature, takes skill and aptitude to write well. However, unlike literature in general, erotic literature might just serve to titillate the reader rather than provide any insights into the human condition. But literature of any genre can fall short of this, and there may well be erotic literature that can add more to life than a distraction.
    Personally, I love reading, but erotic literature is never on my book list; not owing to NoFap, I am just not inclined to read it. I have no strong opinion on it, but would err on the side of caution and ignore it.
     
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  12. 1.buy a journey to express your emotion
    2.get any hobby
    3.Go outside more
    4.be grateful what you have.
     
  13. Powerous

    Powerous Fapstronaut

    PMO has destroyed our lives for long enough.
    It is time to fight back!, it is time to restore our inner strength!
    It is time to restore our energy and most of all it is time to restore our LIFE!!!
     
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