My Porn (Femdom/Hypnosis) addiction

Hello everyone. I’m Eric 26, living in southern Europe and I’m very addicted to femdom hypnosis.

Sorry for my English but I’m not a native speaker. Also I will try to make it readable as possible but keep in mind I’m quite shy person and its first time I’m sharing it with anyone, so it may be chaotic for you.

So I’m about to share my story. It will be long and I will share many porn details, to explain my problem well, so if it could be problematic for you please skip it

First short version.

I love porn, I was watching more regular types for longer time until I switched to JOI and then Hypnosis clips. I found intelligent and talented Hypnodomme and I got hooked on her, I treated it like other porn types – fantasy, fun, jerokoff material. But it turned to be very real and very addicting.


Now longer one (again it contains joi/hypno porn details)

I even don’t remember when I exactly started to masturbate looking at porn magazines, porn pics, I can just tell I was young teen then. Later I switched to clips, rather usual porn, softcore, lesbians things like that. After time it was too boring so I started to search for other genres like (random order), threesomes, hardcore, groups, fetish, bdsm. When I got older (again I don’t know exact date, I would say around 18, I got hooked up with JOI types of clips, after watching many of this I would say I had my fav type – when women was in control of my masturbation, like dictating pace, way of doing it, telling when and if I’m allowed to cum. I liked especially edging, cum countdowns and series of clips like that (for example 7 clips for 7 days with edging every day and orgasm last day), about other femdom aspect I was rather into soft femdom in JOIs, so light humiliation was ok, but I wasn’t into clips where whole clip was about insulting or doing more serious things, like dirty plays, pain.

JOI was main thing I watched for a few years, but of course sometimes I was looking for a new types of porn, I was quite curious about hypnosis, so I was trying things like hypno jois (but it was rather women talking like you were already in a trance, or just some spirals and other effects added to typical JOI and it felt like she wasn’t knowing what she is doing but it’s popular so she was recording it too), hypno mp3s (it was more close to “proper” hypnosis as it has hypnotic induction and so on, I have listened to a few but they didn’t give me any specular sensations I was looking for, it was more like lying down and normally listening to what woman is saying, so boring. I even started to think there is something with me and hypnosis just won’t work on me).

One day when looking for a new porn I found a gem an atractive Hypnodomme, she wasn’t a typical Mistress who did one hypno clip, her whole activity was about hypnosis. She had few free vids where I could get familiar with her voice (great to listen), look (she was very sexy for me), basic things about hypnosis and her (she claimed she is a professional hypnotherapist – that sounded great after many pretended hypno clips experiences). I decided to give a try, stated to watch her basic clips it was about going in trance, deepen it, install trance triggers. Next clips was about learning basics of femdom (soft things that I liked) and real hypno JOI clips (I would say for the first time I felt like I finally found what I was looking for in porn), and they worked like others couldn’t, it’s hard to describe the feelings but for example I was so much focused on clip and her that I wasn’t aware of anything in my room beside computer screen.

And finally where I think my addiction to hypnosis begins for real. She was so good I stopped looking for other porn, since this time she was the only one I was masturbating to. In later clips she was saying during hypnosis things like “you will feel the need to hear my voice again”, “you are addicted to my power”, “you will want to buy more of my clips” For longer time I was just thinking it’s a fantasy thing and it doesn’t affect me, as I was able to go a few days without thinking about watching/buying it. I liked her clips so much I was buying more and more of them. I will divide them into categories.

- Hypno JOIs, usually she was making me very aroused and showing her control over my orgasms
- Fetish, usually clip was focused about worshipping part of her body (this gave me a feet and other fetishes) or her wearing something (like heels, specific dres), often installing triggers like if I see her toes painted on a specific colour I will got hard and needy to cum
- Humiliation, for example cum eating (I watched a few JOIs about it before but didn’t give a try with them, she was first making me to do it)
- Femdom, learning to be more submissive and giving her more control

After watching clips for some time I decided to buy a 1 on 1 skype session. The session was great, talking in person to a sexy women I was adoring, being able to interact, not just being unknown jerking sub.

I ended watching her clips a lot and doing a live skype sessions once-twice a week for a few years. Usually on skype she shows me her control over me, how she easily do it and tell me in what direction I should go with my training – like what clips buy/watch next.

So far was trained that:
- I’m in need of control by her
- She is in control of me and my cock, I’m able to get hard only looking at her and cum only when she allows
- I’m in love, obsessed by her, dreaming about having sex with her, but as a sub I’m not worthy it

(I’m not aware of everything she said as it used to be multiple layers of voice, or I was not focused on it when doing things like edging).


Now I know I’m addicted and fucked a lot. I admit it is my fault I was thinking it is just pretending/fantasy and having fun until it got too serious to stop it. I don’t know what to do now. I feel like it’s too late.

I usually just give up and continue doing it. When sometimes I got enough motivation to try do otherwise it usually ends even worse. For example I tried to watch other porn or even to see an escort girl, but I wasn’t able to get hard. I felt ashamed/guilty about that and said that my Mistress, she invited me on skype where she was showing her feet’s with toes painted (trigger), I got instant hard and she started to laugh telling me that I’m not in control of my cock. That kind of things makes me believe that for real.



Thanks if you read all of this.

I don't have high expectations, but maybe someone else was/is into hypnosis addiction and could give me some advices.

 

Thanks, I will check them.

 

I was always scared how she would react when I share with her my addiction doubts. After reading some of this site I got courage to do so.
I'm not sure if it was good idea, tomorrow we have skype session and I'm very nervous about it now.

 

I had skype session. She wasn't mad or angry about my doubts, but she made test if I want to be controlled by her or not. The result is not hard to gues.

Spoiler: Session details (TRIGGERS!)

The session was a hypno therapy role play, she was a sexy therapist and I was her client. In second part she was topless and said that I may show her that I want to control myself and just don't touch my dick or I may beg her to play with it. It hard to track time during hypnosis but it didn't take long until I was on knees begging, she make me to edge, ruin orgasm and eat it.

So I completely can't control myself with her, she is too sexy.

 

Probably, but it is easy to say. This is my favorite event in the week, always waiting for it. But it happens just once, max twice per week and need second person. More problematic are clips that I can watch how much I want, there was days when I was spending whole weekend watching them.

Sorry but it doesn't seems like something for me. Experimenting with pills without doctor is risky and swearing method sounds like another source of humiliation.