My porn habits have changed. But I don't know if for the worse or better?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, May 26, 2019.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Basically I don't have a smart phone and I have my laptop blocked beyond belief. I'm not explaining everything I have done to my laptop, but a lot of work has went in to it, and I basically can't access anything that causes me to relapse. Basically I keep a long 30 digit code password in another location a mile away from my house. This code password is basically the only way I can bypass the blocking systems that I use.

    But long story short I used to always get quite good streaks like a month long streaks of no porn and artificial sexual stimulation. But then what would always usually happen at the end of those streaks is I would binge on PMO for like a day or few days. Maybe PMOing up to 10 times in one day and things like that. Then I would block everything again and get another few weeks or month streak.

    But over maybe the last month I realised the most damaging thing I could probably do was binge. So I decided that if I ever did relapse on PMO that I would do it once and then stop and never binge. The problem with this though is recently I find my self only getting around 7 day streaks of no PMO and then I am getting that password and relapsing once, and then getting another week long streak again. I'm not sure what was more damaging? The binging a lot in one day out the month? Or PMOing once per week? But I do know I feel a lot better and have been experiencing a lot less negative effects from PMO overall. Better erections and mental health. The problem with this though is the negative consequences I heavily used to experience somewhat heavily motivated me to be extremely determined to not PMO. But recently I have been experiencing very little negative consequences from the occasional PMO, and because of this I find my self returning to PMO a lot easier.

    Another strange thing is when I have been going and getting that password and unblocking everything recently when I have went on the porn is I haven't actually been that excited by it. In fact the last 2 times I relapsed I found the porn quite boring, but just continued to PMO anyway. But the strange thing is even though I found the PMO boring, I still sometimes get a powerful urge to at least search and see the porn. I think with using these extreme blockers I never even get a glimpse of anything, and that makes me desperately want to see something, which then leads me to getting that password and unblocking everything.

    So that is the situation I am in at the moment. Any help and advice would be much appreciated. Thanks
     
  2. N0thing

    N0thing Fapstronaut

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    I personally think blockers don't prevent you from watching porn. They're just temporary solutations. If you really want them though, ask someone else to come up with the password
     
    Last edited: May 27, 2019
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  3. JKnight

    JKnight Fapstronaut

    The behaviour makes sense. If you know that there isn't going to be water for a long time, when you get it, you take advantage and drink as much as possible. However, if you know that there is water no to far away, it's easier to wait, you don't binge when you get there, but you don't ignore it either, because at the end of the day, you are still thirsty.

    Porn is the same thing, just no a necessity. Your brain cries for its fix. By the time it gets to the month, it's been starved for a long time and it doesn't know when it's going to get another fix, so it binges. However, when you are doing it every week, your brain isn't as starving, so it's easier to control. But it still craves a fix, so once you've allowed yourself a fix every week, your brain is taking advantage. It still requires its fix after all.

    In my experience, the brain is sneaky and will find a way to bring porn back into daily usage if it can. You'll get into thought experiments and patterns that will slowly encourage these behaviours, especially when 1 a week no longer proves enough.

    Try gradually extending your sobriety and reward your milestones with non-sexual rewards. If you need help from an internet filter, split the password. You know half and someone else knows half, and you've placed your half a long way away and they aren't so available. If you need a reason and don't want to say porn, say that you were spending too much time on social media and video streaming and you want to stop.

    I also found that after a while PMO stops becoming a sexual activity and remains a way to deal with stress and to just generally numb existence.
     
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  4. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    First off, I'm not a proponent for blockers, but if you're going to have blockers you need to give the password to someone else. Otherwise there's really no point.
    Getting bored by it is very good. That means you're beginning to dismantle some delusions you had about porn. Understand the pattern and the true nature of porn. It's always the same thing. It is also normal to get a powerful urge to go search anyway.

    I'm going through this stage too and I would say I'm starting to approach the endphase of it. Basically there's less and less excitement inside me to watch porn because I know what to expect. In the first months of my streak I would allow myself to follow the impulse to open a pornsite and look at the porn, but never to jerk off, just to confront myself and understand that this shit isn't for me. Now I'm opening a pornsite twice per month on average to peek and I'm trying to have longer streaks without looking. (My counter refers to nr of days without PMO by the way)

    The reason why we still want to look is because we've used porn for so long that we have a hard time believing that it's really that boring and bad if it used to be so fun for so long. But people change and accepting a new life without porn means to let go of the old outdated version of us.
     
  5. Black fog

    Black fog Fapstronaut

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    Blocking things you're addicted from is same as keeping them there unblocked. Passwords, codes - none of that crap wont help you to get rid of habbit.
    Understand?
    You have to beat addiction in harsh, hard, real way. If you want to watch porn you WILL watch it.
    When I used to quit smoking, I used to drop my cig packs in trash can. So what? Sometimes I even started looking for them in the same can. Sometimes I just bought new ones or somebody gave me some. So why putting porn away in a place easily approachable would help? Fuck no, pal! Just simply begin to work on your brain. Focus on nofap. Do something else. Don't block anything, it wont change shit!
     
  6. diep

    diep Fapstronaut

    Use blocker in veteran mode: BURN down your own password. Make sure there is no way to retrieve and recover it. And game on with porn addiction. Let's see how far you can go.
     
    Last edited: May 28, 2019

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