pmoaddict42
New Fapstronaut
I might have some weak grammar (because I am not a Native English speaker). So if you find some then pls understand.
Hello guys. I am a 16 year old male, who has been masturbating for over 4 and 1/2 years. My addiction started when I was 12 years. It all started when I started rubbing my penis while looking at half-naked women. While I was doing it suddenly sperm came out. I didn't know why it came, and it pained in my anus when I first did it. I thought it was Dangerous but still wanted to try it out nonetheless. I didn't knew it would become a harmful addiction. Here's my experience:-
And then in my 4th year, after few symptoms got evident, I researched and found NoFap. From then I got to know that it was damaging me, and I wish I knew this earlier. From my 4th year I decided to quit it as I knew exactly what it was doing to my brain.
I just couldn't quit. I tried to not masturbate, and I did for a day, then relapsed. I nofap for a day, relapse. After a week of masturbating I get the motivation, Nofap and relapse. This cycle has been happening for a year and a half, and here I am. I cried a lot, but to no avail. The best of my nofap progress is only 6 days. I could only go far upto 6 days, and no more than that. Now, I could only be free for a day, and then I get this urge. I failed so many times, that victory seems Impossible for me.
After all these years of watching porn, I wanted to marry a nympho woman so that I can have sex with everyday. Porn has made me ignore the "trad, innocent, cute women" type. Deep in my mind I know that I don't want to be a simp trying to find a "sex-addicted" type woman. With my future flowing in front of my eyes, to trying to get motivation, nothing could make me stand up on my feet.
I know that if I touch any smart device, my hand would unconsciously try to make me search for porn. I have been an emotionless, robot kind of man. I want to call myself a man, but I couldn't. I feel pity for ones who missed their childhood because of porn. I watched people in their 30's regret their life because of porn, and that still couldn't motivate me.
With all that being said. I really want to quit this living hell. So since the May is coming to an end, I will prepare myself during the remaining days and start my journey once again from June 2024 to May 2025. I am really excited about my journey. I hope that I at least, now walk myself into the path of Victory. My parents know that I masturbate, and I have been caught many times(don't ask me how and when), but they don't know that I have an addiction. It's fine, they shouldn't know it, or they will be disappointed in me, that I have wasted so many years. I want to present them the "New Me", where I confidently go outside, engage in conversations without social anxiety, be a strong man, study well, and what not? Damn, I will be a totally different person than anyone has ever seen me before.
Until 24th May, I will respond to your comments, after that day onwards, I would not come to reddit or open any other smart device, until May 2025. This is going to be very hard, and I can't give up, because I gave up many times and now my life has not given me any chance to quit. Let's only hope for the best....
Hello guys. I am a 16 year old male, who has been masturbating for over 4 and 1/2 years. My addiction started when I was 12 years. It all started when I started rubbing my penis while looking at half-naked women. While I was doing it suddenly sperm came out. I didn't know why it came, and it pained in my anus when I first did it. I thought it was Dangerous but still wanted to try it out nonetheless. I didn't knew it would become a harmful addiction. Here's my experience:-
- After a year or two, I started to sweat when I went outside, and I thought I had social anxiety, but it was a result of me feeling guilty after masturbating.
- Memory loss has become worse. Yes I am not kidding. What I'm studying will get deleted from my brain. For example when I was in 11th grade (15 years old) I could memorize studies in the beginning, but as I masturbated, in the end during final exams I could not remember the things I studied (partially). There are other awkward situations which are caused by my memory loss. Once I left my glasses somewhere and after only few minutes I had to search my whole house to know where I kept it.
- Other symptoms like lack of Cognitive brain functions, lack of focus were evident. I couldn't focus on studies anymore. Only within 4 and a half years, my brain has been damaged. I didn't masturbate every single day in those 4 and 1/2 years. I have maybe given 1 day gap in a month and sometimes I didn't.
And then in my 4th year, after few symptoms got evident, I researched and found NoFap. From then I got to know that it was damaging me, and I wish I knew this earlier. From my 4th year I decided to quit it as I knew exactly what it was doing to my brain.
I just couldn't quit. I tried to not masturbate, and I did for a day, then relapsed. I nofap for a day, relapse. After a week of masturbating I get the motivation, Nofap and relapse. This cycle has been happening for a year and a half, and here I am. I cried a lot, but to no avail. The best of my nofap progress is only 6 days. I could only go far upto 6 days, and no more than that. Now, I could only be free for a day, and then I get this urge. I failed so many times, that victory seems Impossible for me.
After all these years of watching porn, I wanted to marry a nympho woman so that I can have sex with everyday. Porn has made me ignore the "trad, innocent, cute women" type. Deep in my mind I know that I don't want to be a simp trying to find a "sex-addicted" type woman. With my future flowing in front of my eyes, to trying to get motivation, nothing could make me stand up on my feet.
I know that if I touch any smart device, my hand would unconsciously try to make me search for porn. I have been an emotionless, robot kind of man. I want to call myself a man, but I couldn't. I feel pity for ones who missed their childhood because of porn. I watched people in their 30's regret their life because of porn, and that still couldn't motivate me.
With all that being said. I really want to quit this living hell. So since the May is coming to an end, I will prepare myself during the remaining days and start my journey once again from June 2024 to May 2025. I am really excited about my journey. I hope that I at least, now walk myself into the path of Victory. My parents know that I masturbate, and I have been caught many times(don't ask me how and when), but they don't know that I have an addiction. It's fine, they shouldn't know it, or they will be disappointed in me, that I have wasted so many years. I want to present them the "New Me", where I confidently go outside, engage in conversations without social anxiety, be a strong man, study well, and what not? Damn, I will be a totally different person than anyone has ever seen me before.
Until 24th May, I will respond to your comments, after that day onwards, I would not come to reddit or open any other smart device, until May 2025. This is going to be very hard, and I can't give up, because I gave up many times and now my life has not given me any chance to quit. Let's only hope for the best....