My problems. And solutions.

[Hyperactivelad]

Hello everyone. My names Michael. I'm 24 years old and have just recently quit watching porn after almost 8 years of continuous abuse of PMO. I never understood that it was an addiction until I got a girlfriend. She would catch me or find it on my computer and get pissed and leave me. this went on for about six months we only split up about three times. Thankfully and graciously she would accept me back and forgive me (which I'm undying it grateful for that) But I could see that it was wearing on her. Not only was it wearing on her. It was wearing on me. You could see it in my eyes that I just wanted to secretly objectify women in my head. I'm very embarrassed and disgusted to say that it was my whole life. I'd sit in my bed and watch for hours forgetting about the time. I would just brush it off and think to myself. 'It's normal.' 'Every other guy I know is doing the same thing.' 'Society says its ok to watch porn everyday.' Well, ITS FUCKING NOT! It's unfaithful to the ones you are really trying to be with and I am ashamed of myself that I continued to PMO for an entire 6 months into my relationship with my girlfriend. But one day. Me and my girl went to Walmart. I was up in my head not thinking about what I was doing. When she saw me staring at another woman. She confronted me about it and in my shame I denied my actions. She always knows when I'm lying so it went right through her. She blew up on me and ditched me at a bar down the road. The feeling of distrust and anger my girlfriend had for me still makes me sick. Even a month later I think she still has bad feelings towards me. But I love her. She is my true love. And I don't want to make her feel unloved, not good enough, or anxious when she's around me. Which is what I've done such a good job of during our relationship. Anyways. This never would have happened if I wasn't addicted. I got this from using unrestricted internet porn at a young age and I'm ashamed of myself to let it impact my real life relationships. I stopped PMO after that day and i can definetly feel myself getting more emotional at times. I cried for about three hours the other day thinking my girlfriend was going to leave me because I hurt her so bad that day. But I just talked to her and she managed to calm me down and make me feel better about myself. i hope to remain PMO free with the help and support from my girlfriend and the support from this community. Thanks for reading. To be continued.

 

[TheWalrus]

Wow, that was a moving story. It's good to see that you care for someone so much that you've chosen to give up your addiction. I hope this forum helps you in your journey and may you build a life without PMO.
Good luck, wish you all the best Michael.

 

[frisianflag]

Hi, that moves me too, buddy. I hope she can understand u more than anytime before, but it's not the reason for u to stop showing the better version of you, Michael. Longlive, great relationship!

Cheers from Indonesia!

 

[frisianflag]

Michael, you're great and we love you buddy.

I would suggest you go into the forums for guys over 40 and read some of our threads there and ask yourself if you want that to be you, 20 years from now. Are you going to spend the next 20 years feeding this thing that you can already see is destroying your relationships, or will you spend the next 20 years killing it, and becoming the man you want to be? Imagine your future wife, kids, career, house -- all the potential happiness that lies ahead of you. Do you want to risk it for 5 minutes of pleasure? It's not a good trade man. Fight for your family, for your kids, who don't even exist yet. It's not just about you, you're doing this for little people who will look like you who you will love with all your heart, who don't even exist yet.

The fight is HARD, but it is WORTH it.

So true for me! I love when the spirits feed us to fight PMO, especially to seek the better version of us!