My religious experience and my journey to faith

Hi I would like to talk to you about my journey to faith.

I was raised atheist. My parents are atheist as well as my whole family. In high school I was sort of "millitant atheist". I HATED and despised religion and religious people. At the time when I started attending college I realised that I was feeling very empty inside. Now I think I struggled with mild depression for years, caused by bulling I experienced in elementary school. I also realised that I am very closeminded and cant even consider the possibility that my worldview could be wrong. I tried to think like a beliver for once and it changed my life. I slowly became to belive. I started to read bible and pray. That was in the year 2017. Even bigger change came in 16 november 2018. At that point I was already struggling with my porn addiction. That evening It seemed I was going to relapse again. I opened P site a started to M. I was very unhappy in that moment. Felt like a slave. I took control of myself and closed the site and stoped M. In that moment I felt powerful feeling all over my body. It can only be described as Good, with capital g. Since that moment I didnt need to PMO for 90 days. Afer that I got depresed and drunk and relapsed. Since then I wasnt sure if it was religious experince of just my body messing with hormones. What do you guys think it was? I think I my body shouldnt produce "positive hormones" when I dont provide "the drug". It shlould feel bad. I am very confused. In past I thought I was touched by angel or something. If it was a messge from higher power what would it mean? Thank for patience with my poor english.

 

Thank you! Its nice to hear somebody who experienced something similar like me.