My Return to Porn After 6 Months PMO free

I just wanted to update you guys since I rarely come on here any more. Recently I went back to old habits. From late June to the beginning of January I went six months without watching porn or intentionally masturbating. Over the years I've learned a lot from NoFap. I've made countless mistakes and relapsed many, many times over the last couple years. Getting a firm grasp and destroying your PMO addiction is very difficult. I've had times where I went months without porn and masturbation. PMO abstinence and being in control of yourself and you habits is an amazing thing. It's the best feeling in the world. However as all of you know, shit happens. I'm not saying my fate was predecided and I couldn't escape it. When you achieve a lot of success with NoFap you start to feel invincible in a sense or at least less vulnerable. See in the first couple weeks of NoFap you're on guard. You make yourself ready for when an urge may strike. As you have more success you become more confident and you take more risks and sometimes let your guard down. You have to be ready at any moment for when an urge may strike. I hate the fact that I relapsed. That first relapse of the year still gets me. I can't believe I let myself do it, but it is what it is. I can't do anything about it now. The mindset I had back in June of last year is the mindset I need now. I'm going to beat my PMO addiction and nothing is going to stop me. The only thing right now getting in my way is the fact that I masturbate in my sleep. As far as I know it doesn't happen every night, but it happens enough that I can't live with it anymore. Normally it happens once or twice a week. It's the worst feeling to wake up at 2 am, completely naked in your bed, with cum shooting out of your penis at fault of your own. I may not be doing it intentionally, but it's still masturbating and needs to stop. I can't tell you how many times I've just prayed to God asking him to make it stop. When it happens it's someone outside of you is controlling you. It's like someone has a remote control and presses buttons saying "Enter half-asleep state and masturbate" I don't choose to masturbate. It just happens. You have no control over yourself or your body. You're just along for the ride. I do what I can to prevent it. I avoid drinking anything with caffeine in the hours before bed. I try to stop using any electronic devices two hours before bed. I also try to get regular exercise. Right now the only exercise I get is in my gym class at school and when I play ice hockey on Saturdays. I need to start exercising more out of school so I'm planning on joining a gym sometime soon. Also every chance that I get to pray I ask that God keeps me from masturbating in my sleep. It's so devastating to wake up and realize that you masturbated in your sleep at no fault of your own. Two weeks ago when I spoke to my therapist I told him about my PMO addiction and my sleep masturbating issue. I was very hesitant to tell him. It was very hard to do and looking back I'm not sure if I'm glad I did it. He understood that porn can become a problem, but he didn't see it as a real addiction. That really aggravated me. I still can't believe how many people out there still don't believe porn is a real addiction. It lights up the dopamine receptors in your brain. It nums the dopamine receptors in your brain making you less likely to enjoy everyday things in life. What does it take for people to recognize that PMO is an addiction. It's probably just as addicting, if not more, than alcohol or tobacco. Last night only about an hour after first going to bed, I suddenly entered my half-awake state, stripped totally naked and began to touch myself. I often play with my nipples when this happens and last night I did something I haven't done in a very long time. During the time when I was heavily addicted to PMO I experimented with anal masturbation. I only tried it a few times and stopped once found out how risky it is. I used to shove a pen or marker into my butthole. That's exactly what I did last night only I did it in my sleep. When I became fully awaken I was disgusted at myself. I couldn't believe what just happened. After school today I ended up intentionally relapsing. I made a stupid excuse to do so. I figured it was okay to relapse since I had masturbated last night in sleep and partially because I couldn't remember the last time I had done it. I wanted to know the date of my last relapse for future reference. I know it's silly, but at least now I can write it down and know the last time I had intentionally masturbated or watched porn. I guess I have to write it down since there are no more counters on here. That's all I really have to say for today. I'd like to thank all of you for reading this. If you'd like to leave me any advice or comment on my situation please do so below.