My sad story on PMO. Thanks to NoFap, I am a better person.

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by GivingItUp, May 17, 2017.

  1. GivingItUp

    GivingItUp New Fapstronaut

    Greetings to fellow members,
    I am 21 and my story is almost embarrassing when I think about it. I started PMO at the age of 12 or 13 if I have good memory. It feels sad when I realized that for years, I was really doing it. Sometimes I will MO 3 times a day and others time none a week or just 3 times. Mine was varying and it will only happen when I isolates myself. I keep the secret act secret and was very okay doing it. I hated the opposite site and will only criticize. Sometimes, I will do it a lot until I feel disgusted and stop for some months and later come back to it as if I was thirsty for days and finally found water to drink.
    The year before my final high school year, I setup a challenge which I respected until 6 months without any PMO. After that, gradually but slowly, I was getting back to the usual habit. My final year in high school, I had a lot of depression because I found myself rejecting girls coming to me and seeing them not my class. Those whom I admire were distant and I couldn't get to them. Until a classmate who has been admiring me so much wanted to know why I am depressed. Because she was so interested in me, I kept it secret until she proposed to me. We had a good relationship until the day we went to bed, I felt something different than what I used to do. I stopped PMO since I was with her until I went to the university. In the university, my first year was clean and I did it just a few times in that year probably less than 10 times. I felt to be a hero. A genius in school, a confident person and more. But I had a flaw again, see women as inferior and most of them being not my standards.
    This is my second year and it has been catastrophic with PMO. I live alone now and have been watching P every time I got the chance. I thought I was old enough to control myself and to limit what I see to the pleasure of my eyes. But every time I watched, I sometimes get up myself and head to the bathroom where I will do the act or take lubricant with me and do it right in front of my laptop. It made me hate myself, lose hope, felt defeated and I finally said, when I will over do it, I will stop it alone but it was a lie. Thank God I was browsing Reddit where someone said he tried nofap but nothing. I didn't know what the word meant but I googled and found out that fap is the practice I was doing and the website was right there. I joined and read similar stories, read recommendations and advice.
    I have gone through sufferings. I will MO until I will be feeling pain around my groin, feeling weak, seeing my semen liquid like water because it had to take time to produce more. But I will be doing it more and more. 3 times a day. The saddest thing is that, I think my growth has been stopped by it. I am medium height but some of my brothers are really tall. I knew I will be tall too but did not know my secret habit I enjoyed more than other things will be the cause of many things that I see today.
    I am sorry if some words are not good to be here and of course for my English. This community is the best and has brought a lot of change to me. This is encouraging. I just broke the rule today after several weeks of no PMO. In fact I stopped P more than a month now but what made me MO was I was shaving myself and got aroused as I was in contact with my private. But I still feel it bad. I am starting another challenge. A 3 month without PMO and may be never do it again.
    This site is the best thing someone can give to a friend. Thanks to you all who makes this community a successful one and PMO free.
  2. Oh mate! When I'm thinking about all the oportunities I have lost because of my psychological addiction to porn it makes me really sad, but I still hope for all the future chances which will surely appair and that gives me hope.
    Keep on the good work! Nothing is impossible and these words are not hallow - that's how the things work. Embarassing experiences or not, life goes on and we have to follow.
    fapstronaut_12 and GivingItUp like this.
  3. YngwieWanksteen

    YngwieWanksteen Fapstronaut

    Future experiences will appear and things will be ok because that's the only possibility in getting better.

    We will all see things had to be the way they were, because you couldn't have done different.

    You didn't know what you didn't know or why you would finally seek help.

    Rather than seeing past things as sad, when your brain and outlook change you will see those things for what they were: only what they were and necessary.
    GivingItUp likes this.
  4. fapstronaut_12

    fapstronaut_12 Fapstronaut

    Liked you last line
    Cymbaline47 likes this.
  5. BlackTemplar

    BlackTemplar Fapstronaut

    I joined this forum today because of stories like yours, GivingItUp. I used to feel like my problem was strange or impossible to be solved, but here I found people struggling just like me. This definitely gives me courage. Together we fight better, I invite you to stand tall and don't look back.
    GivingItUp likes this.
  6. GivingItUp

    GivingItUp New Fapstronaut

    Yeah as you said it all, together we fight better. NoFap is a place to be for everyone get to help another through moral support and encouragements. Thanks to this awesome community.
  7. MadHatter

    MadHatter Fapstronaut

    @GivingItUp , @BlackTemplar , @Cymbaline47

    Welcome to the brotherhood.
    This is something we all have in common.
    We have spent too much time on this stupid thing, and it is time to grow up.

    It is never easy. No real change ever is.
    Your mind will play so many tricks on you, just to get its fix.

    Be strong, be of good faith, and be of good courage.
  8. ugh same bro.

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