My second Panic/Anxiety attack.

I've had a panic attack 1 month ago due to nofap withdrawals and the binge ive had right before it. It slowly got better and in third week i felt completely normal. That 'normal' also brought back my pmo addiction and i started binging again amd again this time not even being able to go more than 1 day without pmo. Some days even multiple times. Then i felt the depression again. And as i was binging again, i felt a pain in my abdominal and left testicle. 2 days after and im diagnosed with varicocele. I started stressing and stressing and now im stuck again feeling depressed fear and like nothing will be normal again. I chose to try home treatment by Daniel Johnson since many people were able to do it and since im seeing results already but it stressed me even more because of the diet changes, and now with panic and axiety, im losing appetite to eat like my first week and a half of my first panic attack. I feel like my heart is rushing sometimes but if i check my results come normal. Ive had a blood test last month because of my first panic attack amd everything was very good. Now im worried about my testicles and testosterone and as i wanted a blood test, now i want a hormone test.... Last panic attack, i was able to ease by spending time to the gym. Now im supposed to stay away from it because of varicoceles and possible low testosterone.. As a active pmo user of 5 years i never really had much testosterone and now that i started to see changes in my first 2 weeks of nofap, i binged, got varicoceles and now feel like shit for what ive done to myself.