My Self-improvement checklist !

Maan thanks for your kind words! I'm trying my best to stay afloat and not let myself go and drown in negativity and addiction again!
I'm sure you'll achieve what you put your mind into! and for the brain memory, there is a guy named "Jim kwik" you can watch his youtube videos or on the "podcast app" no need to buy the courses .. he teaches tricks on how to use your brain and memorize stuff easily and efficiently, you can check it out and see if it helps, i learned new stuff from it for sure!
i hope it helps ^^ , keep pushing bro !

 

Thank u so much for ur reply !! well I've been trying for a long time, i signed up on the forum a long time ago and every time I'll be writing about my problems and how i want to quit PMO and all, but every time i find myself given up into my desires and go back to my comfortable routine. it's true I'm making progress relatively fast (not fast enough tho'), but i have to catch up on so many wasted years! the weight of been 26y.o (27) with no job or income and looking like a crackhead, when i could of been a successful guy with an athletic body and surrounded with caring people (GF / FRIENDS) with many experience and stories to tell, saddens me and at the same time motivates me (took me awhile to find the positive in it) , just because i was anxious and overthink every situation and avoid every challenge thinking its either too easy or i cant do it...
I will be honest, family helps a lot , changing habits, knowing the triggers and this forum also!
So yeah I'm just as vulnerable as everyone here if i can do it so everybody can! i'm writing this so people don't get discouraged, believe in the process, work on yourself and don't give in too easily!

 

Little Update 18Days -- 19/02/2020

-Did workout yesterday (Still tired from it), it's only getting better and better, for the first time, the coward inside me came out while sparing with a guy, i learned to my keep eyes open and keep my posture straight, and not be afraid to take hits, gotta work on it more! although my shoulder hurts so i better check with a doctor ..

Spoiler: Little story about me been a coward

but damn it reminds me, one year i was home sleeping and a friend got into a fight in a bar and got knifed so he called me for help, so the police were involved and hospital, etc...(he is fine)
anyway i went to get a cig pack that same night, every store was closed it was like 3 or 4 am and while i was looking around , there is this fat drunk guy, who came up straight at me , i f*cking got scared, i panicked, i shut my eyes and went on emergency mode , my body shrank, when i opened my eyes, he was surprised and was like "chill all i want is a cig" ...(lol) anyway some security guys started laughing at me and shit.... that moment marked me cause if the guy was areal aggressor i would of been done for... and showed how of a pussy i am..

-I actually did some web-dev today 3Hours! Yey .. Also some Blender basics (3D design) 30min ... thanks to @YugenDran , Using the Pomodoro method helps also (chrome extension)!
And I'm using Todoist app to track my tasks of the day thanks to @HellVorn

-I had some urges today while been home alone, but nothing happened, thankfully! each time i get urges differently either i get a boner or just horny, sometimes both ..

Alright we at 18 DAYS !! Let's keep the will and energy up and reach 30 DAYS and BEYOND !!

​

 

Update 23/02/2020 21Days
Hello Guys, hope y'all doing great ! and that you're fighting your urges like I've been doing this week especially... it's hell!
I almost relapsed many times since my last update, always imagining myself having sex and how great it would be (for both sides), I catch myself breathing heavily and mouth-watering, sometimes I would start stroking it and then stop .... at this point what I do is control my breathing, I inhale the horny thoughts and exhale calm ones until I no longer feel the urges, I even took a cold shower cause it was too much to handle, it really puts out the fire inside you .. I'm glad I did, cause if I relapsed I'm sure I would lose the motivation to do stuff , like; work for my exams (almost done) / study web-dev (i started over, I'm done with html5, now on css3) / workout (71kg, I feel like I got weaker, I push harder, more reps ) / and the ambition to do and think of stuff!
now the triggers are everywhere ... especially when you look up workouts, algorithms bombard you with girls and butts (like a lot), it's like every media is trying to turn you on, and set you to relapse:gosh: it's really getting difficult and I'm having doubts sometimes and think negative... but I'm resisting, I don't know how but I'm doing it somehow...
I trust the process, and I believe that it will be very rewarding if I keep going on this new path, and great stuff will happen!
And that works for you too!
A nice quote I heard lately: "life doesn't give you what you want, but what you deserve"
Motivational speeches help when I feel weak and lost, gives me a slight sense of purpose that I've lost over the years due to my depression, and I build my thoughts upon it.​

 

Update 27/02/2020 - 26 Days !!

Hello, nofapstronauts!
I hope y'all doing great! Sorry, I didn't update for 5 days but here it is !

- The exams are done, and I'm pretty confident I did well! dope!

- Still working out, it feels great to see the results in the mirror, not only the looks but i am also more confident, as i learn new skills in the gym and test my strength, at least i got 1 or 2 moves i can use in case i have to! pushes me to go harder!

-I noticed that i walk differently than i used to before, i was always in a rush or stalling and pretending to be confident and stuff.. now every step i take counts .. like it feels heavy and in balance (not fast, not slow) and really chill, also noticed people looking at me ... girls also looking, been long since girls gave me them looks... if u are wondering if i got a number or a date? well no... sorry truthfully I've always been a picky guy, maybe its all excuses but to be honest i can't pretend to like a girl, i tried once,didn't work ... if u guys think i should think otherwise feel free to ! (i dont have much experience, soyeh)

-I didn't feel as many urges as the last update, maybe its the exams and all, and its great!

-As for work (income), I didn't have much time cause of exams, but i'll take small steps to start and do it .

-Didn't progress on web-dev since the last update,but i am really motived, i'm having fun with it which is nice, i also had a conversation with a junior backend developer, so i can help with his front end work (it sucks to be honest) once i learn the essential stuff!

-Finding joy in living is great, i was empty and lost, now its much better even tho' im only on the beginnings; my relationship with my family is getting better, got new friends, i enjoy stuff that i do and i smile more, more confident and friendly!

it feels like there is so much more out there to discover ! i missed on so much stuff last 8 years or maybe even since i discovered PMO!
"the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. the second best time is now"
if you also feel like , you too old and its too late for you to do/learn anything, i'm 26y.o i wasted so much time and opportunities, lost hope and almost ended it all !
what i can tell you , is that there is always a way to make your hearth shine again but you can't see it now but believe me its there !
And life as cruel and unfair as it is , its also beautiful and unpredictable (in a good way )

​

 

Thank you very much for your reply and support dude!
I know how it feels man, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, and be just be done with it, pleasure comes later!
Good luck with your exams, you'll definitely make it !

 

Small thank you message for the 30 DAYS!

I can't believe i made it to 30days with no PMO !! it's so unreal to me, i'm so happy i made it this far! still have a long way to go but it's brick by brick a wall is built!

Thinks i noticed :
-I feel stronger and more confident!
-My skin definitely looks better!
-I can control my urges better than i used too!
-More motivated and positive!

I didn't reach all my goals but definitely going for it !

Thanks to everyone who replied, liked or gave me advice <3 !

Lets keep going ! for another 30days
​

 

Update 36 Days
-I got a foot injury (something cut me on the beach) , so i'll have a handicap for some time, which means no gym (f*ck) , on the other side, i can use some rest for my shoulder.
-Still didn't relapse, even tho' staying at home and not moving much would affect me on the days coming.
-I notice girls checking me out more n more, i should start making moves ...
-Everything else is on hold, didn't work much or learned new stuff or did something to move forward toward my goals .....
Yes maybe i made progress on NoFap, working on my degree, working out but still i got so much more to achieve and i can't put myself into startin/doin it.
-Anyway beside the negative stuff that happend , i'm keep a positive mindset , and keepin up the progress made !
CHEERS​

 

You are right ! i was thinkin about it , i can still do upper body exercises !
Thank you , i'm trying my best ... !

 

Update 43 Days
I've been struggling these last days, i admit that i edged many times without orgasming (did precum) , the feeling of loneliness and the need to test and prove myself grows bigger as a improve myself in my little closed up world ...

i need to improve my game with girls,(im shy) i can't start and establish that feeling of ease and flow of chat and flirt with a girl, i've always let that to my friends to handle for me as they were more confident than i am , then i would take the wheel once there is a vibe going on and we get to know each other (i don't try to steal their girlfriends)... i want to be able to start a relationship with a stranger and establish a connection without the need of others ..

I'm back to working out, my foot feels better, faster than i thought it would be, so i'm happy about it !

Now Coronavirus has reached my country, the whole world is on panic mode , i wish everyone who is reading this to be safe with their family , don't panic and over-react, the people in danger are the elderly and fragile (already sick) ones, so keep a healthy and clean lifestyle, to stop the spreading of the virus and protect your loved ones!

This will eventually end, sooner or later, keep a positive mindset! ​

 

Day 45 - I Relapsed back to day 0 ! Coronavirus quarantine won!

Well I've been edging for a week, went back to some bad habits, so i decided to relapse to get over it and avoid making the same mistakes again!

how do i feel? i feel relieved of all the urges and horniness, refreshed and ready for a 60days streak!
Thanks to everyone who is following my journey and encouraging me , you are the real MVP ! i won't let you down

if you are reading this keep up the good work, Stay positive !

Staying home all day affects me badly, but better safe than sorry (right?)!

#StayHome!​

 

Wow been so long ! Sorry for not updating, quarantine got the best of us ...
To make it short, i went back to my old habits, after the 45 days pmo, i went from fapping once a week to do it every day if not twice a day ..
The only routine that i kept doing is working out more or less; its the only thing that "regulates" my mental health, if i don't workout more than 3 days i get depressed and sad.
Now for my goals i got some updates: Daily goals and longterm goals!

Spoiler: Physical

I got back to working out seriously, i achieved my goal to reach 80kg, but i got fat to lose, and new moves to unlock [I can handstand for 5 sec, tuck-planche, tuck-front lever] i want to wake up early and sleep early
Daily:I follow Pull Push Legs program and 1 MMA session per week
Longterm: Get strong muscles and endurance

Spoiler: Spiritual

I decided to pray every day and be grateful, i feel like it is important to find a balance spiritually, there is like a gap to be filed, otherwise, nothing i do has a meaning
Daily: Pray every day and be thankful

Spoiler: Intellectual

I will read 20 to 40 pages of a book that grabs my attention/goal is 1 book per week if not per 2weeks
Daily: Ready every day like mentioned
Longterm: Learn/Apply what i learned from the books!

Spoiler: Education/work

Well my 1st year ended well, 1 more year till i get my degree but i'm not hyped about it , i feel like i'm wasting time ... on the other hand, i wanna be a web dev/personal trainer/dancer/designer/, and can't choose what to stick to
Daily: I dont know actually , since i don't what path to follow , but i still exercise and do design stuff for my business, making some tweaks on my website was challenging and loved the logic behind the programming world (i studied html/css for a bit)
Longterm: Get a job or maybe settle for one path

Spoiler: Business

I invested some money into a business model, i made some but i lost more than i made, but i learned new stuff, i will move to another business model in the future
Daily: Work toward my goals, and that is making sells, and profit
Longterm : Have a monthly 4-figure income

Spoiler: Relationships

it has been lonely these last months, i don't really have friends in my new life, i have this urge of moving out and live by myself (that was my goal since i was 18yo ..) but I'm not ready , i want to settle down , have an income and a loving wife and get to discover more of this world ...
Daily : i have no idea to be honest , still on quarantine and thats an excuse i was already quarantining myself before all this , i think improving other goals will eventualy improve this area too
Longterm : make my parents proud , settle down and have a great lifestyle, and a great significant other

Spoiler: How i imagine myself in the future

I wake up early , got my own place , i workout and run my businesses and work, i get to ride a motorbike and travel , i can help my parents and family financially and i have someone in my life and we have mutual feelings , most importantly be content with myself , happy and positive

Today is 01/08/2020: i'll keep updating every day starting tommorow !