My situation - apologies if this turns into a long post

A quick update and a happy one. My wife woke me last night dressed to kill and we made love. Felt hugely turned on, connected, happy. I found myself crying with the emotion when she O'd (but in a good way - it didn't ruin the mood).

So everything in the garden is rosy this morning.

And look! 30 days!

Thanks again for those who helped me through the not such good times.

ANH

 

Just waved my wife goodbye as she left for her 5 days away. I helped her get ready by ironing all the clothes she wanted to take and by painting her toe-nails. She's got a bad back at the moment and so was struggling to reach her feet herself. I enjoyed doing it for her but discovered that it is more difficult than it looks - I will have to practise!

Suffering from the chaser effect today and urges running high. And I adore my wife's feet, so that didn't help to cool the passions! Before NoFap I would have undoubtedly wasted a lot of time this week PMO with my wife away but I'm confident there will be no relapse. I like the new me too much and don't want to throw away the progress I've made.

So no O for me until Friday at the earliest, more likely Saturday as my wife is usually pretty tired after travelling. I will have to find lots of constructive uses for my pent up energy.

All the best to you all

ANH

 

Yesterday was tough but I held out. Came the closest so far to a relapse. Found myself looking at a YouTube video that was effectively a P-sub. No naked or semi-naked bodies, but what the girl was saying and doing was turning me on, and I had no legitimate reason to watch it.

Fortunately that was as bad as it got and I turned it off. Urges running very high at the moment and with my wife away I am spending more than the usual amount of time alone. I am feeling the familiar pull of P-sites that I used to visit and having to steel myself to resist. I guess that if there is an up-side to this, it is demonstrating to me that though I have passed the 30 day mark, there is no room for complacency and I must keep my guard up.

I could not have got this far without this site and the support of those here. So thanks once again.

ANH

 

Better day today. Kept busy. Achieved domestic stuff. With my wife away all the domestic duties fall on me instead of 50% of them, so there is no shortage of stuff to be done.
Urges reduced to more manageable level but missing my wife. I miss the simple pleasure of a hug and the clean smell of her skin.

So, back in control again and another day under the belt.

ANH

 

Just another quick thought as I prepare to face another day.

I'd like to thank the strong, determined, tough women here - such as @Jolie and @AnonymousAnnaXOXO - for setting out the standards of behaviour they expect from a man and what their personal boundaries are. Having made a good start on my journey and been porn free for 34 days, it would be easy for me to get complacent, smug even.

These women make it clear, that I still have much work to do to reach the standards of thought and deed that they rightly expect. When I catch myself lingering on the figure of a passing woman, or becoming aroused by a scene in a TV programme, I remember their expectations, their red lines and resolve to try harder.

So thank you for helping to hold my feet to the fire, even though sometimes it burns.

ANH

 

Thanks for the very considered and thoughtful advice. My plan is to complete the 90 day reboot and then choose my moment to have a long conversation with my wife about our sex life. At the moment, it feels like my P use is still too recent and that I haven't done enough to demonstrate, to myself or to her, that I've kicked it forever. I think sleeping in the same bed again may be a really good idea but it was originally her idea that we should not, so I'll need to explore the pros and cons from her perspective. She likes to have some personal time and personal space in her days, for meditation and so on, so she may be reluctant to give up the one part of the house that is hers and hers alone. I also want to go through the book, the 5 languages of love with her as has been recommended by some other people here. I hope that with PMO out of my life we can have an open, honest discussion about the physical expression of our love and come up with a way of sleeping, touching, connecting, being intimate and making love that meets both our needs.

Thanks again for taking the time to give me your thoughts.

ANH