@Lostneverland we are going to celebrate my bday early. It's actually May 9, but I decided we needed to go earlier because I do some of my best thinking at the beach. Thanks for the early wishes though! I think I'm back to numb. I feel very flat, if that makes any sense. I told SO we are getting another dog, but I think I'm going to wait a few days before I go look, so I can come at it with a clear head. We are cleansing our home of all of the specific things he has used in acting out, at least the things he remembers. He has lost possession of the bat cave. It is now mine. All the personal places in the house are mine until I decide otherwise. He is not to take his phone into the bathroom ever and we'll be installing cameras in specific places throughout the house that only I will have access to. To say that trust has been broken is an understatement. It has been completely demolished and set on fire and then he peed on the ashes. But hopefully now that everything he can remember is on the table we can start to rebuild. I don't know if I'll ever trust him like I did before this. I hope we get to a place where I can though.