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My Story and Why I joined NoFap

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by TemporarySam, Mar 31, 2017.

  1. TemporarySam

    TemporarySam Fapstronaut

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    I've had an unhealthy sexual obsession literally as long as I can remember. I was addicted to masturbation basically from the moment my body was capable of it and viewing pornography even before that. I've tried and failed to quit consistently for years now. I'm now 24 years old and my best streak in all those years was two weeks.

    For a very long time now, I've been telling myself that I would be able to kick it once I got myself a serious and committed long-term relationship. Back at the end of February, I met a girl online and we really hit it off. After discussing our romantic desires, it really seemed like this was a relationship destined to last at the very least multiple years, but she seemed like the kind of girl I could see marrying. We planned our first date and the feeling I had was incredible. The urges were completely gone. During my previous two week streak, I was successfully fighting the urges, but this felt different. It was painfully easy to keep from fapping. I was never even tempted to relapse. There was not a doubt in my mind that I was finally rid of my addiction.

    Well... Something went wrong, and I'm still not exactly sure what it is. I currently suspect that this girl was catfishing me to some degree. I discussed it with some people familiar with internet catfishing, and it really doesn't sound like a catfish, at least not a typical one. She's just sort of vanished with no explanation. Still kind of hoping she'll reappear with some perfect explanation, but that is seeming more and more unrealistic.

    Anyway, that's beside the point. Right now my streak is 2 days, so obviously with that motivation stripped from my life, I didn't stand a chance at resisting. I felt so confused and frustrated, so of course I relapsed. I'm now hoping to clean up my act in preparation for meeting someone else, rather than waiting for it to happen, which is why I'm signing in here. I think having some accountability will help. Just that badge counter alone will be a great help.
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2017
  2. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

    What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
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  3. TemporarySam

    TemporarySam Fapstronaut

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    Well, truth be told, my biggest strategy is using this site. I've struggled for years, but I've never told anyone about my addiction. I've opened up a little bit to a few people on porn sites, but they have all been of the opinion that masturbation is harmless and that I shouldn't worry or stress about cutting it out (that being said, they have all been supportive of my decision, which is wonderful, but not exactly the best support group...)

    I think that having other people who relate to me and who I can talk to when the urges get too strong will be incredibly helpful. I also think just having the PMO tracker will be a huge motivator. Make losing that streak so much more tangible. After joining this community and reading some of the information about PMO addiction, I've realized something else that I think will be very motivational. I am actually very lucky with how few negative physical effects PMO has had on my body, despite it being a decade-spanning addiction. I really want to fix it before any serious problem can develop.

    All in all, I am very hopeful in the future and my ability to stop this addiction once and for all.
     
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  4. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

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  5. TemporarySam

    TemporarySam Fapstronaut

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    I was actually reading that earlier. There's something written in #1 that piqued my interest. It says, "...regain the possession of the life you unknowingly gave away to PMO." I know this was likely written meaning that one doesn't know what they are getting into when they took part in PMO the first time, but for me it's far more literal. I have no memories from before I had this addiction, and I have no earthly idea how it is that it got into my system. I imagine that's pretty unusual, but I guess I don't know for sure. Any insight into that?
     
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  6. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    The mind is a powerful thing. It is powerful enough to protect us from memories too hurtful for us to remember but at some point we must go to the root of our issues to go forward.
     
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  7. TemporarySam

    TemporarySam Fapstronaut

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    I didn't mean I blocked it out or anything like that. As long as I can remember, it was a part of me, even when I was very, very young. It's sort of baffling, actually. I really have no idea what caused it.
     
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  8. psst. Maybe bring up what we discussed or something?
     
  9. TemporarySam

    TemporarySam Fapstronaut

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    Hm? Isn't this what we discussed?
     
  10. I knoooow dummy. Share it with others. In order for NoFap to work you need to be a bit more forthcoming
     
  11. TemporarySam

    TemporarySam Fapstronaut

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    Whaaaaat? Isn't that exactly what this post here is?
     
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  12. same here man! seems like this has also been a part of me for as far as I can remember. Started with some P mags at a friends house, then videos etc at a really young age, at such a young age one is not suppose to get exposed to these things, it really changes something in you.
    Ive gone now almost a month without PMO and its tough some days.
    I understand 100% your situation where you could just give up the PMO and the urges were just gone when you had that special someone. It was exaactly the same with me, every time I met a girl I really fell in love with the urges just disappeared. Its just that love is not about jerking off and being a perv just lusting after another persons body, thats why these urges just go away like that!
    In P we see these woman as objects for pleasure, but with someone you care for and love you will never see them like that.

    All the best man! I hope you can really get past this PMO addiction, I know its tough! Believe me, its been tough for me these last few days, but you can get through them!
     
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  13. TemporarySam

    TemporarySam Fapstronaut

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    Dang, good stuff. Though it sounds like you know what got you started (mags, videos, etc.) I can remember when I discovered P, and I remember it being a problem even before that. Really bizarre... I've got one AP that I am very grateful for, but I'm looking for another strong Christian to AP. Interested?
     
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  14. Yes man P was everywhere when I was young, even before that I had issues already with looking at woman etc. from at least the age of 6, I can clearly remember stuff from when i was 6 that was already perverse.
    If you want dude! I dont come on here much though, for me this forum is mostly to keep track of my progress.
    Feel free to PM me anytime though! :)
     
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  15. TemporarySam

    TemporarySam Fapstronaut

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    Sounds good. Perhaps after a while you would feel comfortable swapping phone numbers? That's how my current AP keeps me accountable.
     
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  16. What country are you in? Im in Africa
     
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  17. TemporarySam

    TemporarySam Fapstronaut

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    US here. Sounds like perhaps NoFap actually is the best place to interact.
     
  18. yes haha it is when you are not in the same country! Depending on your state im about 6 to 12 hours in front of you time wise. I usually chek NoFap in the mornings at 10 AM or at about 8 - 9 PM
     
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  19. TemporarySam

    TemporarySam Fapstronaut

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    Cool. I'm in California, so probably 6 hours. I appreciate your help.
     
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  20. Kehkelunga

    Kehkelunga Fapstronaut

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    Keep going guys, motivated reading this thread. From India
     
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