Assalaamu'alaikumwarahmatullahiwabarakaatuh and greetings, fellow Fapstronauts! I'm not so new here, although my account is new. I've been reading NoFap for a few years now, and I had another account before this one. Here, I'd like to share my PMO addiction story, and maybe some other things about myself. It all started when I was 10. Back in Year Four primary school, I had this one really close friend of mine. So, one day. he asked me, "Do you know what's 'porno orgy'?", and I didn't know so I looked it up, it's one of the typical stories of students getting hooked from their friends and curiousity. I wasn't hooked on porn at first then. But I eventually started venturing into hentai. My sisters love anime, and I'd known some beautiful characters, so I'd tried looking them up on Google Images, nude. I would do it a few times a week, although I didn't think it was wrong, I still kept it hidden. I was tech savvy at young age; being able to clear my search history despite myself catching adults with uncleared porn history. Anime Baths Wiki mostly dominated my hentai addiction at ages 10 and 11 alongside fantasies of Diva drama characters my mother watches. One I vividly remember even now, was a woman character who used the toilet, you know, with the convenient censoring of the buttocks and vagina, but it still turned me on. I also fantasized the characters in BDSM-esque settings, being captured and forcing the nude. Anyway, later on I discovered porn sites, as in hardcore, no joke, not-just-pictures hentai sites at 11. I'd often watch it before going to school. During my Sixth Year, I had fetishes for bathroom-related porn. Like women pooping, urinating, bathing and so on. This was real-life softcore porn, but I wasn't into hardcore porn yet. At the end of that year, I was circumcised; it hurt, for anyone who's uncircumsised. For the first week or so, I could hardly touch my penis without it hurting, a lot. But something weird happenned, my penis often became hard, ususally at night within the second week. I could already touch my penis by the third week, and I felt an urge to stroke it. Probably the hormones and porn-conditioning. Up till then, I've never masturbated, at all. So I went into the bathroom one day to take a shower (but it was really to masturbate), and I did it. Stuff came out and the rest was history. It was the best thing I had ever felt, I was shaking. My semen shot out a metre and a half. I wanted to do it again. Needless to say, sometime eventually, I started supplementing masturbation with porn, and that very same thing is done by me to this day. I was severely deperessed for two months at 13; everyday I really wanted to stab myself with a kitchen knife (only recently learnt that it wouldn't actually work). At 14, I became depressed once more, albeit not as long and slightly toned down. Last year was different, though. Towards the end of the year, I started masturbating to photos of my friends and teachers. My emotional state really dipped a few weeks then. I'd go on Instagram and Facebook and masturbate to the faces of them. One of the girls was a swimmer, so that was extra pleasing. It was trash, complete trash. A teacher I went off to was my class teacher, and she was pregnant. She just gave birth a few months ago. The thing is, they weren't wearing anything particularly sexy, besides exposed shins and thighs (yes, scientifically, they are considered sexy by men), but I've been around them for so long, it's just more realistic; I imagine their body structures and moaning sounds. I'll say it again, it's complete trash. I'm only acquaintances with the girls I masturbate to. In addition, I'm the teachers' pet. To some people, this may not make sense, but I'm one of the top performers in my form, never scoring below overall top 4 in a highly competitive form. But in regards to my personal life, I'm trash then and I still don't know how I acheived Number Two overall for my End-Year Examinations (it's called Impostor Syndrome). This contributes to my depressive mood, as I set high expectations for myself; the role model for others. Eventually, I got around to quiting social media, and alothough I still go off to photos, it's less often. That's a good improvement, be it slight, it's still something. There are more things that contribute to my depression, which in turn increases my porn usage. My relationship with my parents was a kinda shaky last year. Furthermore, this is very strange to others, even my family, I get depressed from music, any music. I absolutely hate and despise music. I have self-diagnosed myself with specific musical annhedonia, unfortunately, my family to this day forces me to take piano lessons despite me rebelling, claiming it to make me more hollistic. They say I'm 'too religious', but I'm perfectly fine not hating on my christian, hindu, buddhist and athiest friends at school. I may be ranting, but this stuff is quite suppressed within me. I guess that's all I have to write about, I acknowledge that my story doesn't stack up even point one percent to some addicts' stories, but that doesn't mean it's not hard for me as well. It's a life long journey. I'm only turning 15 this year. I want to reconnect with my GOD, Allah, anyone who's religious would understand the feeling of forsaking GOD who's done everything for you your whole life. I wanna start exercising again, no more fat guy. I wanna study my subjects with passion, you know, get some sleep at night to study properly the next day. Anyone and everyone out there reading this, please pray for me, so that the NoFap plan I've devised works out in the end, Insha Allah. However, no matter how much we plan, GOD is the best of planners, and ultimately, I want to choose to trust in Him rather than doubt. If there is anything new that develops in my life, major enough that I need to cover, I'll try to update it here, Insha Allah. Anyway, thanks for reading to everyone if you've made to the end, I appreciate it. TL;DR: Anyone and everyone out there reading this, please pray for me, so that the NoFap plan I've devised works out in the end, Insha Allah.