My Story of 200 days so far

[winningover]

I am new here but I have been watching the forums without making an account for about 6 months now. I decided to delete porn from my life only because in my opinion masturbation and orgasm without porn are not dangerous. I have been able to cure my PIED to some extent. I have developed performance anxiety though and seeking help from members here who can guide me regarding cure for performance anxiety.

I started the no porn journey to cure PIED. I got married and learned about this. Not going into details because more or less everyone finds it through one way or another about PIED. It was unbelievable for me at first that porn can cause ED esp. when I could easily get hard with porn for a long period of time. Anyways, to cut it short, I started my journey of no porn and got through flatline and other subsequent phases. Now I can get erect easily with mere sensation without porn or imagining anything in my mind.

The problem now is performance anxiety. As soon as I think about intercourse, I lose erection all of a sudden. If I don't think about intercourse, I remain erect easily for considerable time. Anyways, I am happy I have come a long way from where I started. Any suggestions to tackle this??

I am also going through severe withdrawals which I am not going to talk about here as my focus right now is to get over the performance anxiety phase and get my marriage sorted out.

 

[Optimum Fortitude]

I am new here but I have been watching the forums without making an account for about 6 months now. I decided to delete porn from my life only because in my opinion masturbation and orgasm without porn are not dangerous. I have been able to cure my PIED to some extent. I have developed performance anxiety though and seeking help from members here who can guide me regarding cure for performance anxiety.

I started the no porn journey to cure PIED. I got married and learned about this. Not going into details because more or less everyone finds it through one way or another about PIED. It was unbelievable for me at first that porn can cause ED esp. when I could easily get hard with porn for a long period of time. Anyways, to cut it short, I started my journey of no porn and got through flatline and other subsequent phases. Now I can get erect easily with mere sensation without porn or imagining anything in my mind.

The problem now is performance anxiety. As soon as I think about intercourse, I lose erection all of a sudden. If I don't think about intercourse, I remain erect easily for considerable time. Anyways, I am happy I have come a long way from where I started. Any suggestions to tackle this??

I am also going through severe withdrawals which I am not going to talk about here as my focus right now is to get over the performance anxiety phase and get my marriage sorted out.

I had the same problem than you. Unfortunately it could still very much be PIED. If you keep masturbating or orgasming even without P, your sexual exhaustion is still very real and the masturbation is not helping to recover from that. Your libido is still all messed up from porn and (compulsive) M oe bad masturbation habits (prone, death grip). It could also just be psychological (PA) but if that's the case then just do nofap hardmode.

If I were you, I would abstain from masturbation (and sex if your wife agrees) for like 30-60 days and see what happens.

 

[turquoise]

Performance anxiety is the worst. I've experienced it several times in my life--not sure if it was PIED combined with anxiety or what, but it occurred multiple times, and what ultimately worked was talking to my partner and learning to feel comfortable with them. Basically, it's about learning to relax in the moment and not "get stuck in your own head." I found some of the best intercourse I had with my wife was from when I meditated on a regular basis (it was before I started nofap, and meditation also allowed me to cut down on PMO).

In short, practice learning to relax, and talk to your partner about your anxiety--once you relax back into the moment, you can let go of your fear/anxiety and allow yourself to become aroused without worry.

This is my personal experience, anyway--you may need to find what works for you. Talking to a doctor or therapist would be a good idea if this does not work.

 

[winningover]

Performance anxiety is the worst. I've experienced it several times in my life--not sure if it was PIED combined with anxiety or what, but it occurred multiple times, and what ultimately worked was talking to my partner and learning to feel comfortable with them. Basically, it's about learning to relax in the moment and not "get stuck in your own head." I found some of the best intercourse I had with my wife was from when I meditated on a regular basis (it was before I started nofap, and meditation also allowed me to cut down on PMO).

In short, practice learning to relax, and talk to your partner about your anxiety--once you relax back into the moment, you can let go of your fear/anxiety and allow yourself to become aroused without worry.

This is my personal experience, anyway--you may need to find what works for you. Talking to a doctor or therapist would be a good idea if this does not work.

What kind of meditation exactly ? Can you give me a link or explain because there are many types of meditation out there

 

[turquoise]

What kind of meditation exactly ? Can you give me a link or explain because there are many types of meditation out there

I don't have a link or anything, but I was doing guided Vipassana, or mindfulness, meditation. I was going to a Buddhist temple for several months, but the gist of the meditation is that for about half an hour at a time, you focus on nothing but your breath--feeling your breath and noticing your breath, and letting go of any and all thoughts that arise without interacting with them, like watching clouds pass. It was enormously helpful with my anxiety, and although I don't practice regularly anymore, I still "return to my breath" in times of high stress in order to clear my head. There are probably some decent youtube videos that guide you through the practice if you want to give it a try.