My story so far...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Harry45578, Jul 3, 2014.

  1. Harry45578

    Harry45578 Fapstronaut

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    I'm just a regular 16 year old guy. I play sports, I'm active, I do reasonably well at school. On the outside, all appears well. But on the inside, all is not well.

    Firstly, my main problem is social anxiety. I feel that it gets in the way of everything. It's like there is a mental block on meeting new people. Around people that I know, I'm fine, but around new people, especially girls, I'm a nervous wreck. It's the underlying fear of been judged - I know that most of the time, people don't judge me that critically, but I've head experiences of people doing so and it's like my mind has gone into override thinking that everyone will judge me which will lead to embarrassment etc.

    My second issue is general self confidence. People always tell me I'm good at things, but I never believed them. I never had confidence in my self when it came to sports, school whatever. It lead to me not living up to my full potential for anything and everything. This lack of confidence, especially around girls, seems to go hand in hand with my social anxiety.

    I didn't know where to go until around 5 months ago, I discovered nofap.

    From reading some of the articles, I knew that the cause of the issue was P.M.O - I was not a heavy porn addict, but certainly a frequent user from around the age of 11 or 12.

    For the last 4 months, I've been trying to give up the addiction on hard mode. My record so far is around 30 days and I've got to that mark twice.

    Currently, I'm on day 15 of my 6th run of achieving 90+ days. In my latest streak, days 1-3 were extremely hard, I had to resist the constant urge to jerk off. From day 4, I had a flatline. Some people hail the flatline as a saviour, and although it happens to pretty much everyone and is an integral part of becoming free from a porn addiction, it was horrible. I had no libido and it felt like I'd never see an erection again until I jerked off. I had to fight with myself thinking that the flatline would last ages. That in itself almost made me relapse. In the last couple of days however, I noticed an increase in my libido to a point where I can get an erection but I've had no urge to fap for about 12 days as yet. The flatline was also hard emotionally, I felt like I was having a complete mental breakdown. As for benefits, I've noticed an increase in confidence and assertiveness as well as irritability (this may have just been porn withdrawal). Of course, I'm going to stick at it because I know that the main benefits happen later down the line. Wish me luck!
     
  2. russel3

    russel3 Fapstronaut

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    Wow, im amazed about how many guys on here sound the exact same as me. Im basically the same age and have your exact problems. Its very nice to know that other people are affected by PMO like i am. I cant wait for the benefits down the line too but it can be so hard to wait when the urges get almost unbearable(right now). Good luck and stay strong, never stop fighting!
     

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