My story + your advice

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Smoky, Aug 1, 2020.

  1. Smoky

    Smoky Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone. Before I start, I need to tell you that I will be totally honest with you. I have no idea how to start but I am sure this will be helpful for those that are starting in this journey.

    I'm 22 years old and the reason why I stopped watching porn, masturbating and orgasming is kind of funny. I was reading an article about sexual health or something similar and there was a specific section dedicated to morning woods. When I finished to read the entire section, I realised I couldn't recall the last time I had a morning wood. I felt as if there were something wrong with me. And that was the beginning of my journey. I started on the 15th of April. The pandemic was all over the world and I was spending all day in my house. It was pretty hard to start staying all day at home, but I did it anyways.

    This is the first time I've attempted to stop watching porn. My porn addiction started when I was 15 years old. I think today is the day 107 without porn, masturbation and orgasm. No relapse. It feels good to achieve something like this. I can say I feel proud of myself.

    I do not want to talk about urges that much, but it is something that needs to be clarified. Urges are your worst enemy. You already know that. I have no idea what I did to beat them. It's like I haven't even fought against urges because since I started, I knew that I wasn't going to masturbate. Urges where there, all the time, because our lifes are extremely exposed to naughty stuff. Youtube is full of thumbnails with hot girls, movies and series with sexual scenes, music with naughty lyrics, videogames with kinky animations, and the list can go on. You cannot scape from that. You have to accept it. They will always be there. But I haven't relapsed. Do you want to know how? Yeah, me too. I have no idea how did I manage to fight agains them. As I said before, the only thing I knew is that I was not going to masturbate nor wach porn. That's the only advice I have for you. There were some times in which I've seen a naked woman on the TV or in any social network, but that didn't make me go and relapse. No masturbation nor porn is the label my brain has attached. And I am sure I will keep it.

    I guess you want to know about the good things I've experienced. I do not want to write that much about this but if you want, I can make another post for it. Since I started NoFap, I haven´t felt low. I am more confident and I consider myself pretty valuable. I am proud of myself. Of course, I used to have this feeling sometimes in my life, but it feels different now. Unfortunately, I haven't had the opportunity to meet anybody after starting NoFap due to the pandemic so there are some good things I am not aware of at the moment. Another good thing you should know is that my penis get hard with anything. I am in total control of my organ right now. I can think about something naughty and I get erect with ease. I feel happy for that.

    The reason why I decided to create an account and write this is because I need a little help on something else. I am a virgin and I feel extremely bad because of that. In fact, not only a virgin. I haven't had intimacy with any girl in my entire life and I am 22 years old. I guess the fact that I am 22 years old puts a lot more of pressure on me. I feel as if I were missing something huge. I have no idea why all this happened. I haven't approached anyone and I do not like going out to parties or that kind of activities. I prefer more close friend activities. I only told one girl I was in love with her but she rejected me. I started NoFap because I was scared about my morning woods. Today, I stay on the joruney because I want to have sex, as simple as that. I know I have grown in many aspects of my life, I am proud of myself and I know I am a really good person. But being a virgin is something I can't stand.

    Do you have any advice for me regarding this? I do not want to wait until the right one appears or something like that. The only thing I do not want to do is to hire an escort.

    In conclusion, I am sure there are many things I've forgotten to mention, but this was the best I could. I will read and answer everyone of you. If you have reached this far, thank you so much. You have dedicated your precious time to read things about me, thanks again. Seriously, thanks. I appreciate it a lot.
     
  2. Why does being a virgin bother you? Is it just your desire to have sex that compels you or is there something else, like social pressures? It sounds like that's what it is and my advice to you is to wait for the right one, even if you are loathe to hear it. But if you are bent on this then I would say get over your dislike of parties and start grinding away on tinder like every other 20 something.

    You'll want to drop money on the premium so you have unlimited swipes, then spend an hour or so just swiping right on everything that isn't a man (unless that's your thing too), disregard any personal taste you may have, absolutely do not be yourself (heaven forbid you actually have feelings for any of them and don't even think about telling them you love them). Be willing to spend anywhere from 20-60 dollars on food and presto you have a lay.

    You could also just go to a bar, get drunk, and just start grinding on people. I've done both methods with relative success. The latter being more stupid and fun. Was it worth it? No. Funny in retrospect but that's about it. It stops being funny when I wonder if I hurt some of those people.

    Sex is awesome and it's the best when you do it with someone you love. I'm sorry that one girl rejected you but she's not the end, try again! Once you really love someone, nothing could be more natural than to sleep with them haha. We're not just walking cocks and pussies we have hearts. You think morning wood is impressive, try out your erection on the girl you love. Doing that for the first time blew my mind. Who knows how much better it could've been had I been more patient. So wait, man! Don't make my mistake and congratulations on the streak and quitting.

    All the best.
     
  3. Smoky

    Smoky Fapstronaut

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    You have a great point here. And yes... It does not matter to me being a virgin, but the social pressure under it.
    Its been 107 days now and I am sure good things are about to happen.
    Thank you so much for being part of the change and for the answer. It means a lot.
     
    Johnthesavage likes this.
  4. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    You seem to be on a good track. I wouldn't stress so much if I were you
     
    Smoky likes this.
  5. k3muthomi

    k3muthomi Fapstronaut

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    Bro im 26 a virgin and ive only kissed three girls and it dosent bother me. Im also 107 days PMO free like you. Dont stress yourself
     
  6. Smoky

    Smoky Fapstronaut

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    I've read a lot of comments like this in other posts but once they are talking to you it hits differently.
    Thank you so much for your words. It gave me an unexpected boost.
     
  7. Smoky

    Smoky Fapstronaut

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    Hello mate.
    Don't you think you have missed something?
    I mean, I would love to have intimacy with someone and it's been 22 years now. I do not want to wait more.
    It bothers me a lot, I do not know how to fight against that.

    Thank you for taking some time to answer me, it means a lot.
     
    Comfortablydumb96 likes this.
  8. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Anytime my friend!
     
    Smoky likes this.
  9. k3muthomi

    k3muthomi Fapstronaut

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    Actually I dont. Id rather wait to fall in love then lose it. I dont feel peer pressure at all given that most of my friends have lost theirs. Intimacy with girls is not a bad thing and I even pursue it if the opportunity presents itself but Im wary of following it all the way through with sex. You've heard of post nut clarity right? Alot of men come to regret their sexual decisions after thats why its always best to wait for love. Dont have sex for the sake of it. You will regret
     
    Johnthesavage likes this.
  10. Smoky

    Smoky Fapstronaut

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    Hey mate. Sorry for late response. I haven't received any notifications from this and I totally forgot.
    I'm aware a lot of people regreat of theirs young sexual experiences. I usually think about it.

    But I don't know. I feel different now. Maybe is my high libido or something, but I really want to have an intimacy time with a girl.
    I've been working on my self esteem for a while. I'm feeling pretty confident despite all the bad physical features I have. But sometimes I feel like nobody is going to show up if I don't try harder. All my friends have had girlfriends and everything. That makes me feel strange. I'm constantly feeling I am missing something important.

    One of the worst things that sometimes happens is when I think that there is nobody out there for me. That usually hits me hard. But I guess that is related with self confidence.

    I don't know mate. It is a huge weight I carry. I have no idea how to deal with it.

    Thank you so much for your answer and sorry for my late response. I hope you are doing well.
     
    k3muthomi and Johnthesavage like this.
  11. k3muthomi

    k3muthomi Fapstronaut

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    Like I said intimacy with girls is good. Just be careful of having sex. Only do it if you have clearly made up your mind it is what you want. Keep working on yourself and improving yourself. You will attract girls with time. Dont stress yourself over that
     
    Johnthesavage and Smoky like this.
  12. k3muthomi

    k3muthomi Fapstronaut

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    Oh and im doing great man, hope you are too
     
  13. Smoky

    Smoky Fapstronaut

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    What do you mean by that?
     
  14. k3muthomi

    k3muthomi Fapstronaut

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    Only have sex if you are sure it is what you want and have weighed the potential consequences. Dont do it if its because of peer pressure or because you feel bad that your friends are doing it and you are not. This is an issue I was discussing with my therapist and he said sex before marriage boils down to your values as an individual. Formulate your own values and have compelling justifications for them. If sex before marriage is one of them its ok as long as its not motivated by some flimsy reaaob
     
    Johnthesavage likes this.
  15. khabastos

    khabastos Fapstronaut

    Your first time is incredibly overrated, you don't know what to do and it will be awkward. So why not wait for a person with which you are comfortable enough to be awkward?

    It's not that uncommon to be a virgin at 22 years old and it's nothing to be ashamed about. Besides, the only one who really cares about this is yourself, and if someone else does care and make fun of you because of it, they're kind of shitty.
     
    Smoky likes this.
  16. Smoky

    Smoky Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for clarifying this. I understand you better now.
    I'm developing and finding what I want at the moment. Also, I'm trying to put aside the pressure.
    But the sex hunger is there, anyways.

    The good thing is I want something that is natural not fake as porn.
    That's a good change.

    Anyways, thank you mate for everything.
    I appreciate it!
     
    k3muthomi likes this.
  17. Smoky

    Smoky Fapstronaut

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    I totally agree with you on this. I've heard that a lot.
    But I do not want to wait anymore. I'm not sure if there is a right one for me. I guess I preffer not to wait. That doesn't mean I will be having sex with an escort or any girl that shows up in my life. But at the same time, if I have the opportunity, I won't think too much.

    Maybe I'm wrong. I have no idea to be honest.

    Thanks mate for your words. It means a lot for me.

    Take care!
     
    khabastos likes this.
  18. khabastos

    khabastos Fapstronaut

    That's the perfect mindset, I think. The right person is just someone who you like and feel comfortable around. If the opportunity arises, by all means, seize it! But don't beat yourself up if it doesn't come up.
     
    Smoky likes this.
  19. Smoky

    Smoky Fapstronaut

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    I think that's even harder than no PMOing for me.
    Thanks for the advise mate. It means a lot!
     
    khabastos likes this.
  20. MarioVargas

    MarioVargas Fapstronaut

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    Friend, just be patient, remember that what you think or feel will not always be the final result of the physical experience, the time will come but hopefully it will be with the effort that you made in conquering a woman, in respecting and loving her. After 50 years that will be the experience you want to remember, not how an escort or an easy woman will not let you explore the ability to strive for something great ...

    I wish you the best of luck!
     

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