My Story

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Kakarot44, Apr 1, 2018.

  1. Kakarot44

    Kakarot44 Fapstronaut

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    hello everyone,
    I am new to this community. Before laying out my story for everyone I just wanted to introduce myself. You can call me Kakarot as I choose to keep my real name anonymous. I am 27 years old.
    I started seriously consuming pornographic content heavily during 2013 mainly 2014, so about 5 years now. Every year i say this will be a new year and a new page for me yet i always relapse and return. It is a part of my daily life almost like eating or drinking. the maximum amount of time I stopped was 15 days and I couldnt believe it, then the strong urge came back and i jumped right back in...that was last year...this year maximum 5 days. These days i do it every 2 days or even everyday...:S what this has been doing to me is taking away my energy, my healthy, my ability to think straight, focus, and basically live my life. I always had dreams and aspirations while growing up, mainly as a teenager, now during my 20s things just went downhill. I didnt lose my dreams but rather i have no mind for it to even start focusing on my dreams, im always drained, always tired, and always feeling like ill never quit and my life will forever be chained to this instant gratification. My other problem is this is having a major physical toll on me. About 4 years ago i started having major issues with the cartilage in my knees, they started getting eaten away and i couldnt walk properly. I went to many doctors and they said its a part of my natural state where when i stand for loooong periods of time there is friction that happens and causes my bones at the joints to eat away at my knees. Anyhow how is that related? Well i was supposed to drink a lot of water and exercise, mainly strengthen my quadriceps to cure that problem. I didnt do it...everytime is started..it lasted for like 2 to 3 days then I quit...what made it worse was the constant..ejaculation had a serious toll on my knees making it worse and worse every passing year...i can barely run..cant really always walk properly...i seriously cant bend my knees all the way..and lots of other serious issues I shouldnt be having at 27..if things are like this now...then how will they be for me when im 60 heck even 40...absence of mind...absence of a properly functioning body has been really messing everything up...everything in my life isnt clear and i am not present as me...because im always drained and sucked into that black hole known as pmo...thats my story...my curse for the past 5 years...thanks for reading and I NEED and I MUST STOP!...
     
  2. Rising Phoenix

    Rising Phoenix Fapstronaut

    Why don't you start with yoga? It helps a hell lot, brother!
     
    Kakarot44 likes this.
  3. Kakarot44

    Kakarot44 Fapstronaut

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    Hmm ill check it out yet my fitness levels are shot and my knees probably wont help, great suggestion though, thanks bro
     
    Rising Phoenix likes this.
  4. Rising Phoenix

    Rising Phoenix Fapstronaut

    No problem, always happy to help :)
     
  5. Welcome. Glad you are here.

    Take some time to read the reboot material and come up with a plan for what you will do when you are faced with urges. It has good advice, so don't skip it! :)

    Perhaps start writing a journal - if you feel comfortable telling people about happened and what's going on now, you will start to feel accountable to them. You may even inspire others. It's a nice feeling! This will help your recovery.

    Also, try to add something into your life that makes you the kind of person who doesn't engage in PMO. Think about doing:
    Something you enjoy
    Something you're good at
    Something important
    Something for somebody else, without thought of reward (and if you DO get an unintended reward, do something ELSE, perhaps for a different person or group).

    Read the journals of others - we all learn from each other. For example, I received the above good advice from a far more experienced member of the community who shared his knowledge. Don't just stay within your own age group or part of the world. Share your knowledge in a respectful way. Read, learn, apply.

    Look around the forums, get to know people. Everyone is friendly, and will try to support you. We're all in the same boat here. :)

    Be kind to others and others will be kind to you, both here and IRL.

    I wish you a successful reboot.
     
  6. Kakarot44

    Kakarot44 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks so much and i will be posting my updates as encouragement to myself to not relapse ever again, do i have to start a new thread for a journal with all my details or can i just update this post regularly???
     
  7. I would recommend you start a new thread in the appropriate section. That way, more people will come across it, and offer advice, comments and encouragement. The "New-To-NoFap" forum is kind of a one-and-done, really. :)
     
  8. Kakarot44

    Kakarot44 Fapstronaut

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  9. Roady

    Roady Fapstronaut

    Hi
    Thanks for being here. Welcome!
    Leaving an addictive habit is not an easy job, but .... it will be fully worth it.
    So... get some knowledge, read stories, let yourself encouraged by others.
    You are not alone in this. So connecting to others is a clue as well!
    And don't forget to create a journal.
    Writing about your daily stuff may really help you to process the issues.

    I hope you will make it a great time here!
     
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  10. Kakarot44

    Kakarot44 Fapstronaut

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    I started my journal and im about to update it now thanks :)!
     
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