My Story

I Started two days ago my reeboting. I tried two years ago, i ve stay clean one year but i failed. I am addicted since 14 years old and since I have the web 18 years ago it goes almost daily, Iost my job i lost my family and i lost my mind (one year ago). I was also a workalolic. I started a new job. I lost all my old friends. My story is a painfull. All i fell is shame, my mind lost and everthing ruined.

I started in pornography at the age of thirteen. With pornography magazines that my classmates gave me. My first girlfriend was sixteen and you were old when I was five. We were both virgins, that is, we had no sexual relations with anyone. The experience was totally frustrating because we did not do intercourse. After that, I became depressed for years without any medical follow-up. I went back to pornography and from the age of sixteen to my twenty-five years I did not have any girlfriend. I graduated in law, I married this girlfriend at twenty-six.


I started working as a lawyer in a bank and with that girlfriend who became a woman I left pornography at cost but never blessed to say that I had that addiction.

I became a brilliant lawyer. However my marriage began to collapse three years later with the internet. As I worked day and night and had a lot of work late at night I started my big hell visiting porn pages. I never told anyone


At first I started to visit two or three times a week. I promised myself not to do more. Took the computer to change the disk or buy a new computer. For eighteen years. I tried to let go of the habit that became an addition to watching porn on the web. At the same time I became a workaholic. I got home early, work out late from work. I stopped going to bed with my wife and I was in the living room watching television until I fell asleep. My wife has stopped interacting with me as a woman. She was a friend whom I lied about when I was tired of work. My addiction was hidden from everyone. At the same time I started to do specialized courses in law did five. I did a mba in management an MA in law. Was recognized by my work I began to live from and to work. And my marriage and personal life to collapse more and more. However as we already had three houses and two good cars and we made money the appearance of marriage kept itself.

I honestly do not know how my wife endured. We had not had any sexual relationship in years. I was engrossed in work day and night apologizing to work and my addictions to growing more and more work and pornography. Worked the weekends. Never saw pornography at work. But at home the addition was maintained since we had two apartments. In the second apartment where I had a library away from my wife's eyes, and on the breaks via pornography pages. With the broadband internet addiction began to be much bigger. I stopped going out with my wife. We had few friends with little social life. But as I progressed more and more at work and there was money all was well. I was the legal director of two banks. Successful. On a personal level increasingly frustrated without knowing why. So I worked harder and harder.


Four years ago I began to feel that something was different in my brain. There were things that began to make impressions but I did not know what. I once again thought it was from my job that it was intense. I continued to watch pornography to relieve stress. I continue lying with my wife. Slept in the living room. I rented porn movies and porn tv channels but as it was I who paid the bills she never knew. With greater stress in the second bank I began to have a total nervous breakdown. Worked more than twelve hours a day slept four hours. Until I stopped doing my job so badly that I had a headache. But always giving the excuse to others and myself that had more work.


I promised myself and God never to see web porn since the dismissal. I was a psychiatrist and psychologist always saying that I was a workaholic and receiving treatment for it. I created a law firm and kept myself without the vice of pornography for two years. But I started to get worse and worse with the stress of starting my life again, earning less bills to pay for my head without working as it did and I without knowing why. At the height of exhaustion, I confessed to screaming in my psychologist's office that I had seen pornography. But I did not realize how addicted I was to pornography. I was in complete hangover of having stopped seeing pornography. Depoius of such confession the same day I thought of committing suicide. It was the first time in my life that I thought of suicide but since that day every day I tink in suicide.

I think I had several nervous breakdowns in the same year even with the accompaniment of psychologist and psychiatrist. The psychiatrist without understanding me to give me all kinds of anti-depressants. I began to have impressions with the hands of the people to walk and to associate the hands to the act of masturbation. Pure despair. I told my wife about my addiction lightly. Was the biggest pain he had in his life. Shortly afterwards betrayed me and asked for a divorce. I was full of medicines on a bed. Badly thought So she came close to me and said to me in my ear you understand that you were not a man for me. I was left without my son who was with his mother.

I came to my parents' house and did not look at people. Full of neuroletic and anxiolytic antidepressants.

There was no one to talk to. My psychologist told me to react again and again. So without anyone to talk to, I joined a relationships website to talk to someone. To at least talk. I've done the worst thing in my life. I thought I'd left pornography and masturbation. So I began to correspond with a Brazilian woman and soon after the conversation went to sex. Even virtual sex was short. I lied to myself because on the one hand I did heavy treatment on the other hand it filled me with pornography in another way. Last year I was spontaneously hospitalized three times. My head associated everything with sex. I started to improve. But soon I went to a site of relations called brasilcupid and spoke with more than forty women. I did not talk about sex in the beginning. And with many of them I did not talk about sex. But with two of them I started to talk. Once again virtual sex and once again it gets worse and worse from the disease. It's all about it but everything in my life is focused on sex and the messages I received on my cell phone. I transferred money to these women. I slept with them the night on the phone, it deceived me to me that it was a dating from a distance. The disease worsened one more time. I had three psychiatrists. Until last week I stopped everything. in despair. My mental health is by a thread the doctors say not only bipolar nor schizophrenic. More obessive compulsive at the extreme level. I hope my story helps others.

I have become a completely different person, a trip to the cinema is an adventure. I have two friends from the clinic with other types of diseases that receive me at home to talk. But the rest of the day I isolate myself in the place where I work. I look like an autistic. It costs me to do the work that for me years ago was very easy. Without any desire to meet a real woman. I lost everything. I lost my sanity, I still have some lucidity. I came back to promise myself no more. Let's see if I can.

 

I Started two days ago my reeboting. I tried two years ago, i ve stay clean one year but i failed. I am addicted since 14 years old and since I have the web 18 years ago it goes almost daily, Iost my job i lost my family and i lost my mind (one year ago). I was also a workalolic. I started a new job. I lost all my old friends. My story is a painfull. All i fell is shame, my mind lost and everthing ruined.

I started in pornography at the age of thirteen. With pornography magazines that my classmates gave me. My first girlfriend was sixteen and you were old when I was five. We were both virgins, that is, we had no sexual relations with anyone. The experience was totally frustrating because we did not do intercourse. After that, I became depressed for years without any medical follow-up. I went back to pornography and from the age of sixteen to my twenty-five years I did not have any girlfriend. I graduated in law, I married this girlfriend at twenty-six.


I started working as a lawyer in a bank and with that girlfriend who became a woman I left pornography at cost but never blessed to say that I had that addiction.

I became a brilliant lawyer. However my marriage began to collapse three years later with the internet. As I worked day and night and had a lot of work late at night I started my big hell visiting porn pages. I never told anyone


At first I started to visit two or three times a week. I promised myself not to do more. Took the computer to change the disk or buy a new computer. For eighteen years. I tried to let go of the habit that became an addition to watching porn on the web. At the same time I became a workaholic. I got home early, work out late from work. I stopped going to bed with my wife and I was in the living room watching television until I fell asleep. My wife has stopped interacting with me as a woman. She was a friend whom I lied about when I was tired of work. My addiction was hidden from everyone. At the same time I started to do specialized courses in law did five. I did a mba in management an MA in law. Was recognized by my work I began to live from and to work. And my marriage and personal life to collapse more and more. However as we already had three houses and two good cars and we made money the appearance of marriage kept itself.

I honestly do not know how my wife endured. We had not had any sexual relationship in years. I was engrossed in work day and night apologizing to work and my addictions to growing more and more work and pornography. Worked the weekends. Never saw pornography at work. But at home the addition was maintained since we had two apartments. In the second apartment where I had a library away from my wife's eyes, and on the breaks via pornography pages. With the broadband internet addiction began to be much bigger. I stopped going out with my wife. We had few friends with little social life. But as I progressed more and more at work and there was money all was well. I was the legal director of two banks. Successful. On a personal level increasingly frustrated without knowing why. So I worked harder and harder.


Four years ago I began to feel that something was different in my brain. There were things that began to make impressions but I did not know what. I once again thought it was from my job that it was intense. I continued to watch pornography to relieve stress. I continue lying with my wife. Slept in the living room. I rented porn movies and porn tv channels but as it was I who paid the bills she never knew. With greater stress in the second bank I began to have a total nervous breakdown. Worked more than twelve hours a day slept four hours. Until I stopped doing my job so badly that I had a headache. But always giving the excuse to others and myself that had more work.


I promised myself and God never to see web porn since the dismissal. I was a psychiatrist and psychologist always saying that I was a workaholic and receiving treatment for it. I created a law firm and kept myself without the vice of pornography for two years. But I started to get worse and worse with the stress of starting my life again, earning less bills to pay for my head without working as it did and I without knowing why. At the height of exhaustion, I confessed to screaming in my psychologist's office that I had seen pornography. But I did not realize how addicted I was to pornography. I was in complete hangover of having stopped seeing pornography. Depoius of such confession the same day I thought of committing suicide. It was the first time in my life that I thought of suicide but since that day every day I tink in suicide.

I think I had several nervous breakdowns in the same year even with the accompaniment of psychologist and psychiatrist. The psychiatrist without understanding me to give me all kinds of anti-depressants. I began to have impressions with the hands of the people to walk and to associate the hands to the act of masturbation. Pure despair. I told my wife about my addiction lightly. Was the biggest pain he had in his life. Shortly afterwards betrayed me and asked for a divorce. I was full of medicines on a bed. Badly thought So she came close to me and said to me in my ear you understand that you were not a man for me. I was left without my son who was with his mother.

I came to my parents' house and did not look at people. Full of neuroletic and anxiolytic antidepressants.

There was no one to talk to. My psychologist told me to react again and again. So without anyone to talk to, I joined a relationships website to talk to someone. To at least talk. I've done the worst thing in my life. I thought I'd left pornography and masturbation. So I began to correspond with a Brazilian woman and soon after the conversation went to sex. Even virtual sex was short. I lied to myself because on the one hand I did heavy treatment on the other hand it filled me with pornography in another way. Last year I was spontaneously hospitalized three times. My head associated everything with sex. I started to improve. But soon I went to a site of relations called brasilcupid and spoke with more than forty women. I did not talk about sex in the beginning. And with many of them I did not talk about sex. But with two of them I started to talk. Once again virtual sex and once again it gets worse and worse from the disease. It's all about it but everything in my life is focused on sex and the messages I received on my cell phone. I transferred money to these women. I slept with them the night on the phone, it deceived me to me that it was a dating from a distance. The disease worsened one more time. I had three psychiatrists. Until last week I stopped everything. in despair. My mental health is by a thread the doctors say not only bipolar nor schizophrenic. More obessive compulsive at the extreme level. I hope my story helps others.

I have become a completely different person, a trip to the cinema is an adventure. I have two friends from the clinic with other types of diseases that receive me at home to talk. But the rest of the day I isolate myself in the place where I work. I look like an autistic. It costs me to do the work that for me years ago was very easy. Without any desire to meet a real woman. I lost everything. I lost my sanity, I still have some lucidity. I came back to promise myself no more. Let's see if I can.

 

I Started two days ago my reeboting. I tried two years ago, i ve stay clean one year but i failed. I am addicted since 14 years old and since I have the web 18 years ago it goes almost daily, Iost my job i lost my family and i lost my mind (one year ago). I was also a workalolic. I started a new job. I lost all my old friends. My story is a painfull. All i fell is shame, my mind lost and everthing ruined.

I started in pornography at the age of thirteen. With pornography magazines that my classmates gave me. My first girlfriend was sixteen and you were old when I was five. We were both virgins, that is, we had no sexual relations with anyone. The experience was totally frustrating because we did not do intercourse. After that, I became depressed for years without any medical follow-up. I went back to pornography and from the age of sixteen to my twenty-five years I did not have any girlfriend. I graduated in law, I married this girlfriend at twenty-six.


I started working as a lawyer in a bank and with that girlfriend who became a woman I left pornography at cost but never blessed to say that I had that addiction.

I became a brilliant lawyer. However my marriage began to collapse three years later with the internet. As I worked day and night and had a lot of work late at night I started my big hell visiting porn pages. I never told anyone


At first I started to visit two or three times a week. I promised myself not to do more. Took the computer to change the disk or buy a new computer. For eighteen years. I tried to let go of the habit that became an addition to watching porn on the web. At the same time I became a workaholic. I got home early, work out late from work. I stopped going to bed with my wife and I was in the living room watching television until I fell asleep. My wife has stopped interacting with me as a woman. She was a friend whom I lied about when I was tired of work. My addiction was hidden from everyone. At the same time I started to do specialized courses in law did five. I did a mba in management an MA in law. Was recognized by my work I began to live from and to work. And my marriage and personal life to collapse more and more. However as we already had three houses and two good cars and we made money the appearance of marriage kept itself.

I honestly do not know how my wife endured. We had not had any sexual relationship in years. I was engrossed in work day and night apologizing to work and my addictions to growing more and more work and pornography. Worked the weekends. Never saw pornography at work. But at home the addition was maintained since we had two apartments. In the second apartment where I had a library away from my wife's eyes, and on the breaks via pornography pages. With the broadband internet addiction began to be much bigger. I stopped going out with my wife. We had few friends with little social life. But as I progressed more and more at work and there was money all was well. I was the legal director of two banks. Successful. On a personal level increasingly frustrated without knowing why. So I worked harder and harder.


Four years ago I began to feel that something was different in my brain. There were things that began to make impressions but I did not know what. I once again thought it was from my job that it was intense. I continued to watch pornography to relieve stress. I continue lying with my wife. Slept in the living room. I rented porn movies and porn tv channels but as it was I who paid the bills she never knew. With greater stress in the second bank I began to have a total nervous breakdown. Worked more than twelve hours a day slept four hours. Until I stopped doing my job so badly that I had a headache. But always giving the excuse to others and myself that had more work.


I promised myself and God never to see web porn since the dismissal. I was a psychiatrist and psychologist always saying that I was a workaholic and receiving treatment for it. I created a law firm and kept myself without the vice of pornography for two years. But I started to get worse and worse with the stress of starting my life again, earning less bills to pay for my head without working as it did and I without knowing why. At the height of exhaustion, I confessed to screaming in my psychologist's office that I had seen pornography. But I did not realize how addicted I was to pornography. I was in complete hangover of having stopped seeing pornography. Depoius of such confession the same day I thought of committing suicide. It was the first time in my life that I thought of suicide but since that day every day I tink in suicide.

I think I had several nervous breakdowns in the same year even with the accompaniment of psychologist and psychiatrist. The psychiatrist without understanding me to give me all kinds of anti-depressants. I began to have impressions with the hands of the people to walk and to associate the hands to the act of masturbation. Pure despair. I told my wife about my addiction lightly. Was the biggest pain he had in his life. Shortly afterwards betrayed me and asked for a divorce. I was full of medicines on a bed. Badly thought So she came close to me and said to me in my ear you understand that you were not a man for me. I was left without my son who was with his mother.

I came to my parents' house and did not look at people. Full of neuroletic and anxiolytic antidepressants.

There was no one to talk to. My psychologist told me to react again and again. So without anyone to talk to, I joined a relationships website to talk to someone. To at least talk. I've done the worst thing in my life. I thought I'd left pornography and masturbation. So I began to correspond with a Brazilian woman and soon after the conversation went to sex. Even virtual sex was short. I lied to myself because on the one hand I did heavy treatment on the other hand it filled me with pornography in another way. Last year I was spontaneously hospitalized three times. My head associated everything with sex. I started to improve. But soon I went to a site of relations called brasilcupid and spoke with more than forty women. I did not talk about sex in the beginning. And with many of them I did not talk about sex. But with two of them I started to talk. Once again virtual sex and once again it gets worse and worse from the disease. It's all about it but everything in my life is focused on sex and the messages I received on my cell phone. I transferred money to these women. I slept with them the night on the phone, it deceived me to me that it was a dating from a distance. The disease worsened one more time. I had three psychiatrists. Until last week I stopped everything. in despair. My mental health is by a thread the doctors say not only bipolar nor schizophrenic. More obessive compulsive at the extreme level. I hope my story helps others.

I have become a completely different person, a trip to the cinema is an adventure. I have two friends from the clinic with other types of diseases that receive me at home to talk. But the rest of the day I isolate myself in the place where I work. I look like an autistic. It costs me to do the work that for me years ago was very easy. Without any desire to meet a real woman. I lost everything. I lost my sanity, I still have some lucidity. I came back to promise myself no more. Let's see if I can.

 

I Started two days ago my reeboting. I tried two years ago, i ve stay clean one year but i failed. I am addicted since 14 years old and since I have the web 18 years ago it goes almost daily, Iost my job i lost my family and i lost my mind (one year ago). I was also a workalolic. I started a new job. I lost all my old friends. My story is a painfull. All i fell is shame, my mind lost and everthing ruined.

I started in pornography at the age of thirteen. With pornography magazines that my classmates gave me. My first girlfriend was sixteen and you were old when I was five. We were both virgins, that is, we had no sexual relations with anyone. The experience was totally frustrating because we did not do intercourse. After that, I became depressed for years without any medical follow-up. I went back to pornography and from the age of sixteen to my twenty-five years I did not have any girlfriend. I graduated in law, I married this girlfriend at twenty-six.


I started working as a lawyer in a bank and with that girlfriend who became a woman I left pornography at cost but never blessed to say that I had that addiction.

I became a brilliant lawyer. However my marriage began to collapse three years later with the internet. As I worked day and night and had a lot of work late at night I started my big hell visiting porn pages. I never told anyone


At first I started to visit two or three times a week. I promised myself not to do more. Took the computer to change the disk or buy a new computer. For eighteen years. I tried to let go of the habit that became an addition to watching porn on the web. At the same time I became a workaholic. I got home early, work out late from work. I stopped going to bed with my wife and I was in the living room watching television until I fell asleep. My wife has stopped interacting with me as a woman. She was a friend whom I lied about when I was tired of work. My addiction was hidden from everyone. At the same time I started to do specialized courses in law did five. I did a mba in management an MA in law. Was recognized by my work I began to live from and to work. And my marriage and personal life to collapse more and more. However as we already had three houses and two good cars and we made money the appearance of marriage kept itself.

I honestly do not know how my wife endured. We had not had any sexual relationship in years. I was engrossed in work day and night apologizing to work and my addictions to growing more and more work and pornography. Worked the weekends. Never saw pornography at work. But at home the addition was maintained since we had two apartments. In the second apartment where I had a library away from my wife's eyes, and on the breaks via pornography pages. With the broadband internet addiction began to be much bigger. I stopped going out with my wife. We had few friends with little social life. But as I progressed more and more at work and there was money all was well. I was the legal director of two banks. Successful. On a personal level increasingly frustrated without knowing why. So I worked harder and harder.


Four years ago I began to feel that something was different in my brain. There were things that began to make impressions but I did not know what. I once again thought it was from my job that it was intense. I continued to watch pornography to relieve stress. I continue lying with my wife. Slept in the living room. I rented porn movies and porn tv channels but as it was I who paid the bills she never knew. With greater stress in the second bank I began to have a total nervous breakdown. Worked more than twelve hours a day slept four hours. Until I stopped doing my job so badly that I had a headache. But always giving the excuse to others and myself that had more work.


I promised myself and God never to see web porn since the dismissal. I was a psychiatrist and psychologist always saying that I was a workaholic and receiving treatment for it. I created a law firm and kept myself without the vice of pornography for two years. But I started to get worse and worse with the stress of starting my life again, earning less bills to pay for my head without working as it did and I without knowing why. At the height of exhaustion, I confessed to screaming in my psychologist's office that I had seen pornography. But I did not realize how addicted I was to pornography. I was in complete hangover of having stopped seeing pornography. Depoius of such confession the same day I thought of committing suicide. It was the first time in my life that I thought of suicide but since that day every day I tink in suicide.

I think I had several nervous breakdowns in the same year even with the accompaniment of psychologist and psychiatrist. The psychiatrist without understanding me to give me all kinds of anti-depressants. I began to have impressions with the hands of the people to walk and to associate the hands to the act of masturbation. Pure despair. I told my wife about my addiction lightly. Was the biggest pain he had in his life. Shortly afterwards betrayed me and asked for a divorce. I was full of medicines on a bed. Badly thought So she came close to me and said to me in my ear you understand that you were not a man for me. I was left without my son who was with his mother.

I came to my parents' house and did not look at people. Full of neuroletic and anxiolytic antidepressants.

There was no one to talk to. My psychologist told me to react again and again. So without anyone to talk to, I joined a relationships website to talk to someone. To at least talk. I've done the worst thing in my life. I thought I'd left pornography and masturbation. So I began to correspond with a Brazilian woman and soon after the conversation went to sex. Even virtual sex was short. I lied to myself because on the one hand I did heavy treatment on the other hand it filled me with pornography in another way. Last year I was spontaneously hospitalized three times. My head associated everything with sex. I started to improve. But soon I went to a site of relations called brasilcupid and spoke with more than forty women. I did not talk about sex in the beginning. And with many of them I did not talk about sex. But with two of them I started to talk. Once again virtual sex and once again it gets worse and worse from the disease. It's all about it but everything in my life is focused on sex and the messages I received on my cell phone. I transferred money to these women. I slept with them the night on the phone, it deceived me to me that it was a dating from a distance. The disease worsened one more time. I had three psychiatrists. Until last week I stopped everything. in despair. My mental health is by a thread the doctors say not only bipolar nor schizophrenic. More obessive compulsive at the extreme level. I hope my story helps others.

I have become a completely different person, a trip to the cinema is an adventure. I have two friends from the clinic with other types of diseases that receive me at home to talk. But the rest of the day I isolate myself in the place where I work. I look like an autistic. It costs me to do the work that for me years ago was very easy. Without any desire to meet a real woman. I lost everything. I lost my sanity, I still have some lucidity. I came back to promise myself no more. Let's see if I can.

 

Thank you all

 

Thank You. Today another day. I wiil win with the support of you my brothers

 

I Find in Lisbon a center of Neuro-Psiquiatry name Champalimaud Foundation. All the best cientists and mchines works in that center. I think that my story was to long that surely affect my brain. Well next friday i will do an RM with contrast. Lets see what i will be the result. I am extremly confused my concentration is nothing compare what it was before. I have lots of fails in my memory.lets see what will hapen.

 

I Find in Lisbon a center of Neuro-Psiquiatry name Champalimaud Foundation. All the best cientists and mchines works in that center. I think that my story was to long that surely affect my brain. Well next friday i will do an RM with contrast. Lets see what i will be the result. I am extremly confused my concentration is nothing compare what it was before. I have lots of fails in my memory.lets see what will hapen.

 

Nº 1 no porno (since two years ago i don see porno movies in internet)
nº 2 No whatsupp with girls on chats or sites of meting people (can leave us to receive picutures, hot talks,and so on). No Skype whit girls that we dont know at all.
Nº 3 No masturbation at all.
Nº 4 Be extremely honest wih our depper friends (i have two friens that know my history) and with us.
Nº 4 Be extremly honest with my PSY and psychiatrist (all sintoms, all our past and if the drugs work or not - be carefull plenty of psychiatrists dont know who to deal with this new adittion.
Nº 5 Work and Work even if we dont have our head in the right place.
Nº 6 Be inform cientific articles papers on internet about this adiction.
Nº 7 Dont isolate. Socialize with people and our true friends who can give us support and affetion.
Nº 8 Dont make the mistake that this adiction will pass from a day to another. It takes time, perserverance and hope.
Nº 9 Listen music whatch cinema, read, walk, see the sea, contact with nature.
Nº 10 And first this site can bring us much information and true help from our "brothers in arms"


Every day we pass "clean" from addition is a Vitory.

 

I have failed a year ago because i think that talk with girls in sites of meeting people have no problem. Wrong. Since pictures to videos hot conversations i received. Thats a kind of porno for us, and could leave us to give money to that girls. Extremly danger.

 

Thank you