**The following description of my experiences may trigger struggling NoFappers It was a couple of years back that I thought I’d try masturbation after having watched a ‘Love Yourself’ parody with no real understanding of what would take place. I did it while I was casually reading a (non-sexual) webcomic of a boy turning into a giant anthro dog. With my first orgasmic experience ever happening with those images in front of me, I couldn’t separate what got me off then from what naturally could’ve done it for me (I was definitely heterosexual). As the month went on enjoying the beforehand discovered furry fandom, the comic and thought up fantasies of anthros having sex/me transformed and participating would fuel these distorted highs that would overtake my daily life. They were unfortunately enhanced with the community’s extremely welcoming nature at the time of feeling particularly socially isolated. It would only get worse when my parents temporarily prohibited technology usage due to their knowledge of me chatting with strangers and identifying as a furry. For about half a year, my coping mechanism was essentially thinking up some of the most graphic fantasies just to have an orgasm. This pattern has resurfaced after my year-long abstination and am currently back on the right track. I have not been able to go a single day without thinking about that confusing chapter of my life. My sexual urges are all over the spectrum as a result (randomly switching from straight to gay and some attraction to anthros/animals/a majority of who I interact with) and I’ve hardly opened up about my struggles other than a couple of times to my loving parents. It doesn’t help that I’m experiencing more loneliness while binging hours of furry video content with curiosity of participating in the community again.