My Struggles With Porn

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by ThePhoenician, Sep 16, 2017.

  1. It was the summer of 2016. I had just graduated from high school and was about to start a brand new life in college. I knew that going into college was going to be a great way to start fresh and reevaluate myself and my life. There was one thing that I new I had to change. My addiction to pornography. The thing that I didn't care about for almost two years because I believed that it was normal and it would harm you. But we all know that it was all a lie. I began to realize the effects that my addiction was having on me and I knew that I needed to stop.

    For over a year I struggled with relapsing. There have been times were I have been able to abstain from porn for weeks but lately I have only been able to abstain from porn for like 3, 4 or 5 days. But then a few weeks ago I suddenly remembered that one website I came across what felt like an eternity ago. The website was NoFap.


    When I first came across NoFap I was like whoa cool someone is trying to help others addicted to porn by creating a website. At first I was too ashamed to join the website. I had this warped thought in my mind that somehow someone in my family would find out. But then after months and months of struggling with relapsing I knew I had to change something. So I took the chance and joined NoFap.

    Since joining NoFap I have found strength that I have never had before. Yes I have failed multiple times but I have found the strength to never give up. Every day when I write a thread or post something on my page about how I am struggling or how I keep failing I always have comments that are uplifting and encouraging. Who would have thought that these comments could lift me when I am feeling down and encourage me to keep marching and to never give up.

    Thursday I wrote a thread about how I was having a really difficult time with temptations. The day was just brutal. Man the temptations just kept eating me alive and me not having any meds didn't help much cause I was distracted on so many levels; thanks you ADHD. A few hours later I couldn't resist any longer and I gave up. For the past two days I have been thinking about what I need to do to defeat this porn addiction. Well here is what I have come up with.

    WHAT I AM DOING WRONG
    There are a lot of things that I am doing wrong LOL.
    - Listening to temptations

    - Making up excuses to restart my challenges by relapsing
    - Not using the resources I have to defeat this addiction
    - Not doing what it takes to avoid triggers and temptations
    - Not caring enough


    I know the reasons why I am not successful. My mind simply doesn't care. I am putting myself up for failure because of this attitude that I have had for years now.

    WHAT I NEED TO DO
    I know what I need to do to defeat this addiction.
    - Always stay positive

    - Never give up
    - Resist porn
    - Refuse porn
    - Ignore temptations
    - Use all the resources I have
    - Stop saying that she looks hot in order to avoid triggers

    These are really the simplest things ever. I really need to hunker down and actually do these things because if I don't I am just going to set myself up for failure.

    Tomorrow is the start of a new beginning. A lot of things are going to change for me. I really hope that this is the last time that I will ever have to restart. I am so sick and tired of it. To those of you out there who are struggling with the same thing I am all I have to say is never give up. Face the fact that it might take a long time to defeat porn but know that you are actually trying to defeat it. One last thing. If you are still struggling with relapse or want to relapse ask yourself this question and really think long and hard about the answer.

    Why do you want to stop watching porn?
     
    Got to Overcome likes this.
  2. Veronico

    Veronico Fapstronaut

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    I relapsed after 8 months of NoFap but now I finally said farewell to porn once and for all.

    Why?

    - Because I'm tired of that bullshit. I've seen a lot of videos and they are all the same shit.
    - They are damn videos. Videos. You are Jerking off to fucking V-I-D-E-O-S. It's not real. You are jerking off to P-I-X-E-L-S. Realise that and you'll see that you'll lose the addiction to porn within few days or instantly.
    - I'm tired of watching that shit, I want to have sex with a real girl.
    - Sex should be intimate. It's a SHAME that everyone can know what most couple do inside their bedroom, how they fuck, what dress they put. Fuck that shit.
     

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