My tipping point. Research studies on dating, porn-use etc.

Note – I removed cuss words thinking it blocked my post on reddit nofap, still didn't work, so I posted here instead. Post is a bit long but is very emotional, 1500 words, bear with me. It is all over the place and I talk about seduction as my personal goal here btw, so if you hate that maybe don’t read it lol. I welcome any feedback to my writing, any questions you may have, I would love to have a friendly debate too if you have some good points etc.


I'm an 18-year-old Asian male, single, in Uni. Always have been single, despite fantasying of a really hot and lovely partner that’s my type (basically a 10 in appearance and personality, maybe even that love at first sight sight ) and I am her type ofc , which I am sure a lot of others can relate to, even though our brains and experiences are quite different (psyche). I hope this can resonate to others and get some valuable info here . I've done NOFAP 4 years ago and got 6 months plus. First two weeks were the hardest personally. Fapped because I thought just normal masturbation was ok. Went back to heavy porn-use very quickly. It was extremely hard to do nofap back then, but I think it is now much harder and I can barely even get past 3-4 days at best. I've fapped around 2-4 times a day to addictive and hardcore content for years now. Frequency has definitely worsened.


I've realised that I have always went back to comfort for many things in life. I’ve always used the smallest rationalisation I could find to not do something. I have always said that I am ok and that life will just simply fall in my laps anyway, Nofap didn’t do much for me back then is what I’ve always said. Despite the difference in energy and the obvious pleasure sensitivity I had to pleasures like talking, music etc.


The falling process was this

1. Hmm should I reallllly not masturbate?

2. Let’s search about it

3. Many people say that you shouldn’t but one person says that is ok

4. Well who cares it. I’m always bored anyway. What is so bad about it. I’ll get my life back without it. It is mostly placebo and only helps a little bit, it isn’t essential bro. ED? Well I’ll just do it when I get a gf. Motivation? This rn will give me motivation too. Basically, all the lies you can say

5. Fap to porn at least half an hour to 2 hours.

6. Wtf did I just do? I literally change my thoughts the instant I finish. From sounding like a retard in my head to feeling a bit more awake but dull like a zombie.

7. (Optional) Promise I won’t do it.

8. Do it again 10 minutes later.



It has always been very similar to this. I was introduced to porn at a very young age (12yrsold) and I can’t even masturbate to a normal hot nude girl without it being so difficult to finish. One day I didn’t have internet and porn, I just fapped for an hour and then to a freaking catalogue of lingerie models, still couldn’t finish and I became even more frustrated. This situation has happened a lot!


The context rn? This week I’ve been meditating and doing cold showers every day for around a week, no hot water at all. I have only done this much cold showers and meditation once, and it really helped fend off urges, but I don’t have high school now so I have more free time that urges creep in, usually due to boredom triggers. I relapsed on day three to one nude pic from a porn scene. I lied to myself because I aggressively searched forums to find someone saying it is ok, or once every 7 days of simple ejaculation will reset your testosterone cycle. ( IT SOUNDS STUPID RIGHT? THIS IS THE POWER PORN HAS)

My head said “YES, it will be ok man. Just fap once every 3 days. This time, your plan to slowly eliminate fapping will work. You will do once a week later” Stupid idea for me. How many times I have said the same thing. Thankfully I didn’t fail twice yesterday. I watched a nude pic (which was boring af) and I looked at a porn scene for 20 seconds a few hours later out of curiosity and closed the tab. I basically researched again on why porn is bad for you. My brain always does this to rationalise or feel comforted.


Here is my tipping point. Maybe partly due to a combination and interrelated relationship between meditation, cold showers, exercise and the recent epiphany on taking action in seduction I had ( You may if you think that is corny let’s discuss in the comments!). I don’t know exactly why, but I likened it to the tipping point the boxer Tyson Fury had. Watch his video on YouTube. I looked at all the social anxiety post, saying theirs went down from a 10 to 2/1 in severity etc. Research papers that said there is strong correlation with porn use and loneliness. Porn and poor verbal memory. Poor concentration. Etc. Now I finally realised wtf is wrong with my high school life. I used to be a good grades kid when I was small. Not long after I got porn, they decreased quite a bit. In terms of anxiety, I’ve just realised I’m actually quite anxious when walking outside. I’ve always thought that I was ok and not that anxious, as I do have some charm and confidence, but there was always a fog that prevented me from eloquently using my manly voice and body. Intrusive thoughts on how stupid I look in public has always been present. The thoughts aren’t the healthy type either, they are ridiculous is what I mean. Not the constructive types. It really dampers my mood. This is why even slight anxiety and depression can possibly be a problem. Feeling a little low is ok and natural, but don’t mistake that for the fog porn gives you. You really don’t realise you truly have a problem. It isn’t that obvious that you have simply been coping this whole time, of being lonely. You should definitely feel lucky that it isn’t worse though, as it is easier for you to beat this crap than some others have to go through.


In terms of my recent epiphany, I’ve recently found a burning desire to talk to girls on campus, despite it being boring af rn due to corona isolation. I researched 5 peer reviewed studies that have all pointed out that being dominant is what a girl wants in a man, and it really has motivated me. If you want be me to explain further in the comments, just ask. I can give links later too if y’all want it. I think that like my previous streak, succeeding seducing girls will actually be the goal that will make me tired of porn. That motivated me before in year 9. But I was too weird and didn’t understand anything social really, which can be quite normal at that age. BUT PORN HAS LIKELY BEEN A LARGE FACTOR OR AGGRAVATOR TO ME BEING UNPOPULAR IN SCHOOL, DESPITE QUITE A FEW CUTE GIRLS SHOWING INTEREST. (Side note, some of these girls that were interested seem like the sad type, maybe I attract them? Never had a gf btw. Maybe they weren’t depressed though so take that with a grain of salt)


I recommend Girls chase /Girls chase yt. They are 99% free, I’ve never paid in the 4 years I read their stuff. They have brilliant articles from great authors, some preferably better than others IMO but all giving great nuggets of advice. They talk about how bad porn is too with research papers as well. Give amazing advice on approach anxiety and game. Many takes on it, but they emphasise to not mentally masturbate either. There are many articles that support my idea of why men like me have great chances of finding amazing and fun girls. I’ve always half believed it, not anymore though. That was a big factor on my inaction. Now I just need those hard earned successes to make it 100% at this point.


So now with the deep belief from countless reads that I can get a very attractive and nice girlfriend with resilience, I realised that NOFAP is a must. It will likely remove the mild social anxiety I have had before and actually enjoy improvements in my social skills. More and more studies show it has similarities in effect to substances like weed and cocaine. Search up pornography’s effect on P300 altitudes.




Some of my external resources - I can't post links because I haven't met Nofap's requirements yet lol


Girls chase -10000% helped me gain knowledge. I don’t use RSD much at all personally, a little too mental masturbation to me and slightly creepy and inauthentic. They may be good too though, with great advice. But I prefer getting my info from one source because some things don’t work universally, esp as beginners. They really emphasise on fundamentals (clothes, voice, walk, facial expressions, posture I read AT LEAST 5 articles a week now, takes 5-10 minutes each article. May sound pretty much feel good stuff, but also very good, eye-opening but kind of obvious stuff you don’t always think of. I would say around 80%+ of content is great, others are ok and a bit weird though. Critically read their stuff and keep it in the back of your head, what have you got to lose anyway?

Just search these. LINKS ARE NOT ALLOWED FOR ME RN TO SHARE
- impaired verbal memory with porn addicts ( Not sure if peer reviewed)


Dominance, Prosocial Orientation, and Female Preferences: Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last (old but peer-reviewed) -


The Big, the Rich, and the Powerful: Physical, Financial, and Social Dimensions of Dominance in Mating and Attraction -(peer reviewed, recent)


Gender Differences in Receptivity to Sexual Offers


Pornography Use and Loneliness: A Bidirectional Recursive Model and Pilot Investigation. -(RECENT)

Dominance and heterosexual attraction

There has got be much more. You may need access through a Uni login or smth to download some of these though.


Here are some influences I will just list out


Music by J. Cole (KOD ALBUM about addiction, very relatable), Kendrick Lamar- Swimming Pools track, Denzel Curry (very cool guys) interview with blacky speakz on porn have inspired me too. Eminem’s verse on Airplanes track. Many others too, whatever your taste. 21 pilots etc. Terry Crews porn addiction. Conor McGregor’s quotes on law of attraction and confidence has really resonated with me recently. I think I certainly feel the goals and possibilities literally flowing in my veins rn. Just like I did those few years ago, now stronger and clearer though (may partially be due to the cold showers though, imagine this with nofap and meditation and of course the endorphin rich exercises). Russel Brand is a great example of a successful PUA, with his own mindset, beliefs and takes of it ofc. He suffers sex addiction though.


I love all of you guys man, so let’s all face this evil crap industry together and change for the better. I’m sure all of you deserve a great life of optimism where you don’t overthink stuff. Where you stop the cycle of negativity. You need to be literally tired of this crap and elusive addiction. Believe that it is messing you up man, it really empowers you if you have this mindset. Otherwise, IMO, urges are just going to be stronger. You absolutely have the tools to succeed at almost anything, you should actually cringe of fapping and the effect it has on your overall life worsening. It is a factor on why you let your amazing opportunities slip e.g. a beautiful woman. You let porn be a factor because of some dumb yet deeply persuading stuff you tell yourself! You should be a proud person before you die, not be a loser with a lacklustre life that just saw sexual pleasure mainly through a plastic and fake digital screen with copious amounts of fake and disgusting women. You’ll have poor expectations on sex in it would be ok at best. Your gf would just seem like an object during sex that doesn’t fit your wants. Fapping is just the easier release anyway right? Instead, just make sex your new porn. It is much healthier. And if you still truly just want porn in your life, stop complaining in your head that your life feels like crap. If you do this, THEN GO FAP AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE AND STOP WISHING ANYTHING MORE. Either way, it’ll just make you wish your mother just swallowed instead. Just let porn go man, it ain’t ok for you, and that’s fine. Your brain can barely handle this stuff for some reason, I am like you too. I’ve been addicted since the first release. This industry is literally just like cigarettes fam, it’s like cancer in your brain, but you are just a slave for the rest of your life, metaphorically in a jail you may not even really notice.


Many have defeated their demons before us, we just need to take a leap of faith like they did and face these demons. That is the goal we will celebrate, in around 3 months’ time ofc. I don’t view porn as that far from digital heroin for many reasons, and you might know why. It is just much more socially acceptable because our friends also do it. But is smoking cigarettes right if you’re friends do it, or a rapper glorifies it? These companies don’t care about our happiness, it’s just that their pockets get thicker. They are basically legal drug kingpins. Difficult to ban but the govt just lets it slide because it maybe because it somewhat improves the economy like cigarettes do.


Remember though, diet, exercise (even light at first), and other new lifestyle changes are also very helpful in removing this brain fog but Nofap is definitely one of the best things to do. Especially if you watch PORN compulsively every day, and also suffer from loneliness. Porn definitely was a factor in me not being more popular in school, and me being slightly overweight. I thought too much. Ofc it isn’t the only factor, and I ain’t saying being popular is that important either. Either way, you need options in life. Conspicuous spending (money) , porn, weed, popping pills regularly, alcohol and power can be very bad, especially if you don’t moderate it. It eats through your soul, basically. You may forget what It feels to truly live, like you did when you were a kid.



Just some random strong quotes I like, mostly from music


J. Cole - “Meditate, don’t medicate”, “But I know depression and drug addiction don't blend”, “Will I fall, will I fly?” “Don’t give a … if it kills, it mixes well!”. “Once an addict, always an addict” “Fool me three times …. the peace sign load the chopper let it rain on you”. The whole ATM song has many great lines I relate to.



JID “I ain’t tripping I ain’t saying it’s wrong, but there’s some other stuff that we could be on”

“If you ever want for anything to work, you gotta try
You gotta live like you dying in a minute, take your time
Use it wise, dream higher than "the ribbon in the sky"
Don't gotta take my advice
You know, who the …. am i? (Yeah, who the … are you?)
But just a little fly, finding smells through a crappy walk of life

F a guideline or tour guide
Nobody helped me, but I'm not fine”


Kick my ass, let me run it back, that was tough love


6LACK “I was broke, but I knew blood, sweat, and tears, you know?”



Kendrick Lamar – “Why you only taking 2 or 3 shots? Let me show you how to take It up a notch”.



“I go in studio sessions and feel like a nerd. Cause I'm the only nigga there not smoking no herb (Weed is a bit controversial. I think it is bad in regularity like porn and cause you to fap and worsens your overall life)”

LUST by Kendrick Lamar



Basically, music and affirmations in the mirror can be added to your arsenal for your new mindset



McGregor said something along these lines – “If you have the true confidence to say it, it will come true”



Ciao guys. Please take anything you want from this. OFC share your strategies on beating this below, everyone is different!

 

@zebiA np man. I don't know to dm here but if you want to explore about anything here just let me know. Ciao