22M student in Canada. For years i've battled with pornography addiction which led to very dark fetishes (gilfs, ghetto, trashy...etc) this eventually led to encounters with escorts. I've been aware of my problems, and have been trying to fix them for so long. Last year I was renting a basement apartment where the internet was provided. I stayed in this basement for about 3 years battling my mental health and addictions. I'm not sure what caused it, but one day the landlord and her family decided to view my internet search history. They saw all my struggles, all my embarrassing ask reddit questions, all my insecurities, the escort sites, and the dirty porn. I was called every name in the book. The words stung and hurt like crazy. There were even plans to make these things public, but I was ultimately let off the hook because the mother could see how hard I was trying to be better. The kids (in their late 20's) and the dad hated me though. Fast forward to this year. I found a student residence place. I was doubling down on my addiction and was trying to hit the gym more. My mental health was also slowly improving. I even found an accountability buddy from reddit. I still struggled with porn, but it was way better. I would visit escort sites once in awhile and book, but always cancel. I was making steady progress. Keep in mind this residence has cameras in the kitchen and hallways. Its essentially your normal townhouse converted into a student residence. I'm naturally a weird person and do weird things when im by myself (hands in my pants, talk to myself, dance etc....) and I naturally look like im dumb. One day I decided to take abit of a residents sauce (I replaced it the next day and told him) but the owner was mad because she saw how many times I order food (300-500$ worth one week) Ordering food is a habit i have been trying to knock, but on camera It just looks like im a degenerate. She decided to leak this footage to other residents and God knows who else. It has now become viral on campus, and maybe even my neighborhood. Every little stupid, gross, weird thing I do alone was visible to a vast amount of people. Me flexing in the mirror, my naked self leaving the washroom, me opening cabinets that aren't mine, me sniffing peoples food, me entering my PERSONAL passwords/emails on camera. Worst of all is one day I came downstairs and opened my laptop infront of the cameras only to have the most vile porn from the night before pop up. I wsnt really paying attention and started looking at other videos aswell and also browsed an escort site on camera. It was like something came over me. everyday I can hear people in the streets calling me an idiot, a retard, a fat ass, a freak, a weirdo. Weirdo is the most common theme. I've been recognized at the gym, and on campus. I'm talked about frequently. What's worse is that people had access to my google accounts/youtube and also my messages with my accountability buddy. Everyone now knows I lost my virginity to an escort and have issues with my self esteem/escorts/porn. I remember watching twerking videos on youtube and accidently stumbling upon cp, now im worried everybody fucking thinks im a pedophile also. I'm in such a bad spotlight, and everybody thinks im an absolute degenrate and weirdo. Its worse because of how poorly I look (bad clothes, messy hair, bad hygiene) all things I was working on. I can hear people constantly trying to debate if im a good guy/weirdo/bad guy/freak because they also see all my self improvement stuff. I dont understand how I could be so dumb to land myself in this situation again. Only my friends support me because they know im a normal guy with bad vices. They have known me long enough. My life is over, I can only hope I do not get defamed at my job. My only hope at the moment is to move in a remote country with my remote job. I don't know why people get into other peoples business' without knowing wtf is going on. Im scared that all this footage will be viral in my city(toronto) I've moved back home where my family and friends are. I want to kill myself so badly.