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My wife subconsciously knows when I have relapsed.

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Tengod67, Sep 16, 2019.

  1. Tengod67

    Tengod67 Fapstronaut

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    This Saturday (two days ago) I had a hard relapse and watched graphic hardcore P which lead to several instances of M and O. My wife wasn't paying much attention, taking a nap and playing her PC games while this happened. But she told me on Sunday morning (the next day) that she had a dream where we were on a boat where I was sleeping, she noticed in my slumber that I had become sexually aroused and hopped on top of my errection and (in her dream) when I woke up and was having this sexual experience I lost my errection .

    I want to tell her that I relapsed to p but I am so berry ashamed because this has been my longest streak ever without going back to this harmful media. I am not going back to the depths of my addiction, I am back on hard/monk mode and I will not stray from this because it keeps me emotionally healthy and happy, striving toward something better and not spiraling into worse and worse situations like when I was always looking for p
     
    Jwarrior77 and Di.Do.555 like this.
  2. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    Mate ,i think you are relying on will power alone.
    Nofap should be effortless after several attempts otherwise you need to look at the underlying factors.
    Inner child healing, affirmations ,meditation ,breathwork etc would help.
     
    Tengod67 likes this.
  3. Tengod67

    Tengod67 Fapstronaut

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    Yes, thank you for this. Pmo has been a life long addiction and I've known for years that it's hurting me and only this year have I made significant progress.

    Our house is a huge mess even when we spend a lot of time cleaning it . This is probably a symptom of our unresolved psychological issues.
     
  4. Tell your partner. It will only get worse if you don’t.
     
  5. fadedfidelity

    fadedfidelity Fapstronaut

    Yep, we always know. Deep down we know when we are no longer the priority and desire of our husbands. We sense when we become a pity chore or your sub porn whore. The intimacy is void and the connection lost, the love making is now soulless selfish sex. The PA is has taken over what used to be our partner. It is a deep degrading feeling that is hard to ignore, even if it is only subconscious.
     
  6. Tengod67

    Tengod67 Fapstronaut

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    5 days clean from the pr0n ! I have done less pmo in the last few months than ever before .thanks for the support
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. Tengod67

    Tengod67 Fapstronaut

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    I told her a few days ago. She wasn't mad but wants me to make sure it doesn't happen again.
     
  8. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    For me, and for many others, this is completely not true.

    Why hard mode and not normal mode?
     
    mrtumnus and hope4healing like this.
  9. Daedaleus

    Daedaleus Fapstronaut

    Be honest with her. Also, if you haven't told her about your reboot, I highly recommend you do it. Especially if you're doing a hard mode for a period of time and you don't want to orgasm, it would probably give her some peace of mind that you're doing this for health reasons rather than a loss of interest in her or something along those lines.
     
    Tengod67 likes this.
  10. Tengod67

    Tengod67 Fapstronaut

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    I am doing hard mode because I've had a long history of porn use and I find myself acting out what I've seen in those films and being a selfish lover.

    I am hoping that practicing abstinence will allow me to discover my own sexuality and stop living out the pornographic mind control.

    My wife and I have discussed this and agreed on the dates that we will again have sex.
     
  11. rah2790

    rah2790 Fapstronaut

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    I'm day 17 and it has been going great for me. The reason it has been easy is due to my wife being all for it. With her helping you it will make it so much better.
     

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