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Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Stephan S, Apr 12, 2020.
So amazing to hear that! Good job, man!
Wish you and your family the very best.
Maybe that would have happened to me too.
Except when I was using PMO every day during my marriage,
I was fat, unmotivated, sedentary, stupid, and needy.
Of course, she began to resent being married to me.
So I left her as a reward for her longsuffering.
But if I hadn't, I might still be that guy, that loser.
Being on my own has forced me to change,
the engine of which is streaks/rebooting.
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up and thinsg will stay that way.
It really helps. I hope to hear something similar someday.
Together 16 years together tommorow.
This is a win in my book.
This is a great success story, man! So inspiring to many of us.
A great testament to the fact that we can change our life path for better and that our present conditions are not final. So happy for you, man. Keep us posted.
btw what are the habits that helped you stay on your path?
This is such a wonderful inspiring post.
Sometimes we start losing hope and question this whole journey.
Stories like yours really gives us hope.
I guess that there are personal differences in what helps for one - I suggest that others also share here what helps them - This is what helps me (in no particular order):
1) I got a great advise from @Mordobarn which really was a game-changer for me:
Don't fight or hate yourself, because then you bring yourself into a situation where you win (or lose) either way: When you fight through the day without PMO, you won in a sense, but some part of yourself might secretly feel that you lost because you missed out a chance for a quick fix. It is always a compromise and there would always come a low moment when I was not disciplined enough.
It is better to select a worthy opponent that you can actually win over without compromise: I decided for myself that I will never ever again support the porn or sex industry in any way. This industy is build on harrasment, lies, human trafficking, violence, crimes, ... I have no intention to support such an evil Industry, however, each time I buy any service, each time a page I view contains ads, each time I increase their page counter, I support someone in that industry in one way or the other.
So now, my fight is much easier: I just never ever support that industry again in any way, then I win - no compromise
For me, this is easier to accompish than to continuously win (lose) against myself.
2) This page helped me especially in the first days after relapse. When I felt the urge to PMO - and it has been close at times - I would instead come here to read through reports of others and to try to be of help by posting advise where I thought I could. This would usually calm myself and I would go on being productive again after visiting nofap.
3) For me, the internet is a trigger. I would usually start reading news, which would raise further question, I would search on the web and discussion forums, which would land me on youtube eventually, ... so I would close in to PMO gradually until it just somehow happened 'accidentally'. This is hardest for the to maintain since I need internet access in my job. I have tried filters for years, which did not really work as I would always at some point actively find a way around. What works at the moment: a) I swapped my smartphone for the light phone II (It does not hurt as much as I thought first and I am much more productive; this is maybe drastic, but I really wanted to get rid of PMO: weighing a smartphone with PMO against no smartphone and no PMO, the latter just had the greater benefits for me); b) I installed a whitelist filter, essentially allowing access only to a handful pages that I need at work c) working out
Wow STG, thanks for the post. I can relate to that, placing some restrictions on my porn access is senseless to me because if I want to watch Porn I can literally find plenty of alternatives.
Yes, I do know every time I see Porn I'm supporting such an evil industry. I like what you said about Not seeing it as a success or failure, I shall try not to spend more time on internet than I have to, and have other priorities.
I got emotional just reading the title. Well done man. It makes me happy to hear that you and your wife are happy. And of course, the kids will now be happier too.
People who doubt NoFap and porn addiction need to read threads like this.
aww such a lovely couple. congrats bro keep up the good work's
Congrats! the best things are yet to come
Good job man. This is a very heartwarming story, best of luck!
Congratulations man, keep up the great work!
This is crazy but my wife said the exact same thing to me a couple days ago. I'm on a streak but have been on many streaks before and haven't gotten that response... and my streak at the time was only 5 days old. So what I asked myself was, what's different this time?
And what's different is... this time I have committed myself to full hardmode. Always before it was a "reboot but...". Reboot BUT still looking at bikini girls online. Reboot BUT still edging 2 or 3 times a week to be sure "it still works." Most importantly, reboot BUT still checking out women in public and/or letting fantasies run wild.
This last one I think is the key. We are getting into warm weather where I live, and Coronavirus lockdowns are lifting. That means many women are out and about, wearing fewer clothes except for those fucking masks covering half their face. I have been consciously making myself do eye bounces (which I hate because it feels like beta behavior) or looking the other way rather than following with my eyes that young gal who just ran by me in yoga pants. And it is really damn hard but I feel with each win I'm getting a little stronger and taking back the power I've given attractive women for far too long.
Women are so in touch with what's going on in your heads, guys. Use that as an encouragement or a threat... whichever is more effective for you.
Why do you think your wife fell in love with you again?
I meant the reason. Was it because you went back to being the man she feel in love with? or you became a better man? etc
I think it is because I am more present in the moment. I am capable to give her more of my attention. I think that I am more playful and joking around more with the kids. I have started working out again. And I think that I am more self-confident. Also, I do say more open when I need her intimacy (she mentioned recently that I had been too shy about this before). She also knows since many years about my fight with PMO - maybe it has caused her more pain than she would admit and she might see me with different eyes when this problem fades from our relationship.
But hey, just my limited reasoning and maybe there is something else I did not notice. I do notice though that my energy indeed changed and I am more positive, more lively, more creative and I am more into her too. I notice more often how attractive she is and I feel now confident about my capacity to comfort her and to be playful around her. I just have a great time myself when I am together with her .
That's absolutely wonderful to hear. Keep going on this journey. It's clearly a good one.