Narcissist personality disorder vs Porn Addiction vs Intimacy Anorexia

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Vixen, Oct 28, 2018.

  1. Vixen

    Vixen Fapstronaut

    154
    286
    63
    After DD and reflection over the last decade or so of my relationship with my husband I’m having trouble determining if he is a PA with intimacy anorexia or if he’s a narcissist possibly with PA— or is just labelling his behavior as PA.

    He’s lied relentlessly on a few key items and only relinquished proof when he realized I had evidence. Looking back, he has a ton of narcissistic qualities. Lack of empathy. Entitlement. “My needs are most important so I don’t care about your needs.” Tons of misdirection, gaslighting, lies. He’s incredibly guarded, neglectful of me, super concerned about how people view him yet deeply insecure. He appears to be a nice person who will go out of his way to help pretty much everyone but he has been very critical, unhelpful and emotionally abusive to me.

    From what I read, narcissists can’t be “cured”. So... I’m now wondering if I should adjust expectations regarding PA recovery.

    Any advice, ideas, or similar experiences on this matter?
     
    Dutchdad likes this.
  2. Vixen

    Vixen Fapstronaut

    154
    286
    63
  3. Real Roboin

    Real Roboin Fapstronaut

    611
    283
    63
    After I read your other post. He sounds like a narc too. Mine is. All the manipulation, triangulation projection and gaslighting. Porn and masturbation just made it worse. Of course who knew mine preferred to jack off for 20 yes. Ughh the mess in my mind.
     
    Vixen likes this.
  4. pavloo91

    pavloo91 Fapstronaut

    253
    144
    43
  5. Real Roboin

    Real Roboin Fapstronaut

    611
    283
    63
    Have you been in a relationship with one?
     
  6. pavloo91

    pavloo91 Fapstronaut

    253
    144
    43
    Not that I know of.

    Although, to be clear, I was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder and I'm currently in therapy. Some say that people with narcissistic personality disorder cannot be cured and don't go to therapy. I went, was diagnosed with NPD and stayed. Although it is difficult for me (huge intimacy issues, reluctance to open up (even before my therapist) because of a huge fear of rejection and being laughed at), I keep forcing myself to go to therapy sessions.

    I'm starting to realise my feeling of entitlement, I do have outbursts of anger (which I am later ashamed of). However, my therapist has told me recently that she views my condition as a set of problems to be tackled. I have to admit that my therapy proceeds very slowly, but there have been some changes already (even though they are not groundbreaking).

    You see, I don't understand exactly why I have those outbursts of anger or why I sometimes see people as all good and sometimes as all bad. I don't know why I'm afraid of intimacy and commitment so much. I say things which I regret later because only then do I realise how the other person could feel when they heard/read it. I do have need to be seen and I do crave attention a lot - I don't know why either.

    Maybe I don't have a full-blown NPD, I don't know. But I know that labelling people in any way is wrong. I read a lot about NPD: from what I see, ca. 95% of the online content out there is about narcissists being the worst kind of people, how to have vengeance on narcissists, how to avoid them. There's only a handful of articles where narcissists are viewed from a more compassionate perspective.
     

Share This Page