Natural male masturbation?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Messedupguy, Jan 21, 2019.

  1. AlexWillDoIt

    AlexWillDoIt Fapstronaut

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    A friend of mine “discovered” his homosexuality when he was 40, was married and had a daughter. At 17 I guess you still have to discover yourself. Not everyone (and in any circumstance) understands his true being from the start.
     
  2. AlexWillDoIt

    AlexWillDoIt Fapstronaut

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    I wouldn’t because I have a caring and loving family, I had problems in school which just made me stronger and more confident. I would, though, take a medicine if there was for my porn addiction. Like right now. But an addiction is one thing, my nature is another one.
     
  3. AlexWillDoIt

    AlexWillDoIt Fapstronaut

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    But I guess there are guys, grown up in different countries or families, where homosexuality is seen as sin, sickness, illegal, don’t live their nature in the way it’s meant to be, and would do everything to be “consone” to their society’s normality.
     
  4. Messedupguy

    Messedupguy Fapstronaut

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    Yes would be good if there was a cure for those people in countries where homosexuality is illegal and punishable by imprisonment or execution as they can’t lead the lives they want only in fear but even in progressive countries where family or religion won’t accept them then they could have the choice to take cure or not . I think there would probably a large uptake on it especially as a lot of lgbt kids are bullied etc
     
  5. Homosexuality is a choice. Whether you're born with it or not, it's a choice. That's why it can't be cured. That'd be like curing a rock of being a rock; it just doesn't make sense and it demonstrates egotistical, maniacal, insecure control issues (when an outside party tries to change someone else). You're not gay. You just have sexual feelings you haven't gotten ahold of yet. It's akin to having a PC with a bunch of porn on it: Yeah, it's got porn on it, but that doesn't make it a porn computer. And it may take time to delete all those offending files, but you can do it. The difference between other people trying to change you and you changing you is you have the power to change your choice.

    How do you handle urges?
     
  6. Messedupguy

    Messedupguy Fapstronaut

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    I didn’t say there could be a cure or a treatment to alter someone’s sexuality . There are only treatments to suppress a mans sex drive available , which is the option I’m looking at to control my unwanted homo urges.
    I handle my urges thru will power and occupying my life with lots of interests so I avoid porn , homo porn etc . At worst times I use a male chastity device and have myself locked in it
     
  7. Messedupguy

    Messedupguy Fapstronaut

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    I didn’t say there could be a cure or a treatment to alter someone’s sexuality . There are only treatments to suppress a mans sex drive available , which is the option I’m looking at to control my unwanted homo urges.
    I handle my urges thru will power and occupying my life with lots of interests so I avoid porn , homo porn etc . At worst times I use a male chastity device and have myself locked in it
     
  8. I encourage you to take it easy... But I support you. Some techniques:

    Thought stopping: Basically just say NO until it's gone. Does not have to be aggressive, and should actually be as fluid as possible.

    Redirection: You have the urge, but you do something else with it than what was originally intended, and reward yourself for doing so.

    Ignoring: You sit and be okay with the urge while it is going on, and just sit there and let it be inside your head, not acting on it, not trying to get rid of it. In doing so you don't give it the power as usual.
     
  9. Messedupguy

    Messedupguy Fapstronaut

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    Thanx I use all those techniques and have been successful . I haven’t looked at porn or queer porn for a long time or masturbated . I’ve been leading a celibate life for quite a while now .
    I have to use the chastity device for some periods when I start fantasising about men and my body reacts with unwanted very hard erections that I have to try and ignore .
    The device prevents me being able to get erect or touch my penis
     
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  10. You got this! :D thanks for filling me in on your struggles. Don't forget, all is temporary, nothing is permanent. Do good, warrior.
     
  11. AlexWillDoIt

    AlexWillDoIt Fapstronaut

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    Wouldn’t it be right, instead of thinking about a cure, to work on society and the acceptance of the various natures of human kind? Being homosexuality not a choice, why think of a choice to be how you are or change because of others?
     
  12. Messedupguy

    Messedupguy Fapstronaut

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    Yes it would and I guess in some countries progress is being made but in many it’s not and the homos of those countries have a hard choice , to be homos but not act on it or be homos and act on it but face imprisonment or even death . So if was a treatment I’m sure most would take it until times changed
     
  13. Messedupguy

    Messedupguy Fapstronaut

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    I hope I’ve got this . If not I’m looking into a more permanent solution
     
  14. frankpyle

    frankpyle Fapstronaut

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    I'm a bit concerned about you; considering "solutions" to lower or eliminate your sex drive. I realize there are many different men at different places in their journey, and with many different opinions. Here's mine: your sex drive is absolutely natural, a gift, designed for pleasure, and somewhat tied to the rhythmic cycles of the universe. To try and deny your sexual release indefinitely is not healthy or normal. The only time I would think this was a viable solution would be if you were being tempted to do something illegal (child or animal abuse) or unsafe (which I know is very questionable to some as to what unsafe is). Please do not punish yourself for being a sexual being. Simple, healthy, masturbation is not always wrong in the absence of porn addiction. The physical and biological needs of your male body are real, valid, and should be met; either by sex with another person whom you are connected with and feel deeply about, or in the absence of a relationship - periodic, therapeutic, self love. This site is supposed to be about breaking porn addiction and sexual compulsion, but as long as you are not being controlled by the compulsions and addictions of uncontrolled sexual behaviors run amok, periodic release is and can be an acceptable fix. IMHO
     
  15. AlexWillDoIt

    AlexWillDoIt Fapstronaut

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    Times change if there are enough of the strong ones how convince the majority that there is nothing wrong in their nature. Change for morals sake and hoping for a change is the same as accepting that change won’t come.
     
  16. Messedupguy

    Messedupguy Fapstronaut

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    Yes I agree for a normal healthy male but I don’t feel in control of my self and as said I feel totally messed up . I didn’t identify as queer but found my self masturbating over queer stuff then felt deep shame and disgust . So in my case a reduction in sex drive would be a blessing
     
  17. We all really want you to see you succeed, but let's not throw the baby out withe bath water. Remember, YOU are the boss of your body, NOT your addiction. Only you can change your behavior, don't let your addiction get the better of you by allowing it to determine how you will live your life. Don't let it change the way you see your body and the way you think. Remember that it does NOT define who you are. Remember that sometimes by focusing on what's in front of us we also lose focus on what's really important: enjoying life. Can you honestly say that PMO is preventing you from enjoying your life? I would argue not. The more you move the less time you have to PMO. Just make sure you do what makes you happy. We ALL believe in you; you GOT THIS bud! So come on man... Make yourself proud. Have faith in yourself and let yourself feel hopeful. Be kind to yourself, man. You got this.
     
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  18. Messedupguy

    Messedupguy Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for kind supportive words . Proves men can be compassionate and caring and supporting of each other .
    I do try and keep myself busy and active but it is a very strong compulsion that does take over my life . Guess it’s true males are ruled by what’s between our legs . I just want the unwanted feelings to go away permanently
     
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  19. PasterofMuppets

    PasterofMuppets Fapstronaut

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    Saying that masturbating is healthy is biologically true. Animals do it, we've always done it. Nobody ever complained.
    However Porn is completely fucking destructive, and if your relationship with your sexuality has been altered and damaged by it, then it usually gets to a point where masturbating by itself becomes a complex instance and should be avoided for some time.
    I don't ever drink a drop of alcohol but I recognize that wine, GOOD wine (which is now impossible to find anywhere but in an independent farm owned by someone you trust,anything you buy on a shelf is NOT wine nowadays), is a delicacy for those who enjoy it and It can be seen as food and even a regar part of a meal. But people often happen to drink too much, and they'll get sick off it for quite some time, in fact some might not be able to enjoyt it anymore for the rest of their lives.
    Populations who were born around coca plants always consumed the leaves in various forms through the day, they're part of their diet, and no one's was a coke fiend there, right? Porn is no less than crack cocaine then.
    If one's not aware of his sexual being and identity (well no one knows, I guess, but at least if you know the direction it's going to), which literally translates into NOT KNOWING WHO YOU ARE, it's easy to fall for porn addiction and it can get very hard to separate and know the difference between the two things, the two very ideas of masturbating and watching porn, which are the polar opposite of each other, which then leads to shaming and being afraid of masturbation, which is an extremely dangerousand harmful concept and it can lead to the darkest depths of porn addiction
     
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  20. AlexWillDoIt

    AlexWillDoIt Fapstronaut

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    Well said. That does mean that masturbation, after the right reboot, can be part of our sexuality, if it does any take us down the road again. I guess everyone should learn to listen to his/her body and reactions, try to understand his/her way of thinking.
     
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