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Nearly Failed Twice at 1 Week Mark, Looking for Inspiration

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by NewManV, Sep 26, 2017.

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  1. Sep 26, 2017 #1
    NewManV

    NewManV Fapstronaut

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    I don't know, maybe it's because I never really made it more than a week without MO (whether or not porn is involved). Maybe it's because I'm trying the reboot process to rid myself of porn forever. But in the last 2 days, I have nearly failed my challenge twice. I was starting to type in the old searches to pull up old familiar sites that I used to look up, and reach into my pants, even though I was thinking "this is a bad idea...well, just a few seconds". I stopped quickly and exited the page. But seriously, so frustrating.

    Am I maybe getting in the hard part of withdrawal urges? Potentially getting towards the flatline part before the real healing can begin? I'm getting scared that as much as I thought I can stick with it, one quick moment of weakness will drop me back to square one. I really don't want to relapse again, looking for support from all of you.
     
    NewManV, Sep 26, 2017
    NewManV, Sep 26, 2017
    #1
  2. Sep 26, 2017 #2
    Cullengado

    Cullengado Guest

    Well done checking out of the behaviour when, before, you would have acted out. Congratulate yourself on having strength and motivation. Perhaps worth thinking through what got you to the point of typing in first place
     
    Cullengado, Sep 26, 2017
    Cullengado, Sep 26, 2017
    #2
    NewManV and User047 like this.
  3. Sep 26, 2017 #3
    Sweet Potato

    Sweet Potato Guest

    Sweet Potato, Sep 26, 2017
    Sweet Potato, Sep 26, 2017
    #3
  4. Sep 26, 2017 #4
    5adn8m8

    5adn8m8 Fapstronaut

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    Why you're here? I know you know PMO is bad for your health and confidence and...but have you actually thought about your goals and dreams?Have you written them on a piece of paper ? Stick that paper where you can see it as many times as possible during the day.
    Knowing the health benefits of leaving PMO is not enough for staying motivated.
    You need to know how this addiction is stealing your dreams and life upportunities.
     
    5adn8m8, Sep 26, 2017
    5adn8m8, Sep 26, 2017
    #4
    Reborn16, NewManV, User047 and 1 other person like this.
  5. Sep 26, 2017 #5
    AscendingBorborite

    AscendingBorborite Fapstronaut

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    What made you go looking for the old stimulus? Knowing the trigger or the cause might help you cycle past it.
     
    AscendingBorborite, Sep 26, 2017
    AscendingBorborite, Sep 26, 2017
    #5
  6. Sep 26, 2017 #6
    User047

    User047 Fapstronaut

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    It looks like you lack a true reason for doing this. Until you find it, you will have a really hard time.

    Check the link in my signature, I believe it might help you.
     
    User047, Sep 26, 2017
    User047, Sep 26, 2017
    #6
  7. Sep 26, 2017 #7
    NewManV

    NewManV Fapstronaut

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    Thanks all of you. I'm getting my second wind for this challenge. And to the quotes above, this is extremely helpful. I had to think about that for a bit. I got low after my divorce, and porn was my outlet. After a couple years when trying to date again, I had off and on issues. My true reason to stop porn is to find a meaningful relationship, and finally move forward in my life.
     
    NewManV, Sep 26, 2017
    NewManV, Sep 26, 2017
    #7
    User047 likes this.
  8. Sep 27, 2017 #8
    5adn8m8

    5adn8m8 Fapstronaut

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    I'm so glad that you thought about it.I'm sure that it's only a matter of time and you will definitely find that fabulous relationship.good luck.
     
    5adn8m8, Sep 27, 2017
    5adn8m8, Sep 27, 2017
    #8
    NewManV likes this.
  9. Sep 27, 2017 #9
    NewManV

    NewManV Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, I'll keep trying harder. Sadly, I did have a small relapse this evening. Looking back, it was stupid too: going to the old familiar sites I mentioned earlier. And in my mind I was thinking, "you don't want to do this", but then that urge overpowered me and I rationalized with, "just a couple minutes"...

    I'm pretty annoyed with myself, but I did at least stop after several minutes, and stopped before the O. Also trying to remember this is the longest I've gone without MO in years (with or without porn). I'm really trying to look on the positives so I can stay on track and go the distance on this continuation for reboot. As I've read repeatedly: relapse isn't good, but I've still had a lot of progress avoiding PMO for almost 2 weeks. And I didn't spiral and binge like I've done in the past.
     
    NewManV, Sep 27, 2017
    NewManV, Sep 27, 2017
    #9
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  10. Sep 27, 2017 #10
    5adn8m8

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    There is always gonna be some ups and downs but if you keep your eyes on the prize you'll make it sooner or later.
    Always remember this quote form Joseph Campbell :Out of perfection nothing can be made. Every process involves breaking something up.
    good luck mate!
     
    5adn8m8, Sep 27, 2017
    5adn8m8, Sep 27, 2017
    #10
    NewManV and User047 like this.
  11. Sep 27, 2017 #11
    Bale

    Bale Fapstronaut

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    Inspiration is not that difficult to find. Perhaps there is a particular knowledge area you are interested in and could research. Perhaps there is a form of art or creation you are intrigued about. Perhaps there is a natural or human form of creation that can inspire you to appreciate the beauty of life. Perhaps there are activities you can engage into and connect with other people.

    Quitting addictive behaviour can help de-wire your brain, making it possible to get satisfaction (dopamine reward) from more simple things. You will have more creative energy and it will be scary at first to realize that you have this power which you haven't learned how to control.

    But deep down you know that there is more, that there is light at the end of the tunnel. You can perceive it every time you notice happy, outgoing, generous, hardworking people.

    Have faith in the re-wiring process, and accept the idea that you will never eliminate negative feelings. It's more about learning how to live with them. Urges follow the same dynamic. You cannot remove emotions from your body, but you can exercise your consciousness and choose to not act on them. And you will be free.
     
    Bale, Sep 27, 2017
    Bale, Sep 27, 2017
    #11
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  12. Sep 27, 2017 #12
    AscendingBorborite

    AscendingBorborite Fapstronaut

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    @NewManV
    I know you are humble and strong. You will do this.
     
    AscendingBorborite, Sep 27, 2017
    AscendingBorborite, Sep 27, 2017
    #12
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  13. Sep 27, 2017 #13
    jalls

    jalls Fapstronaut

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    You got this! "Eye of the tiger"? What inspires you? I like "hall of fame" myself
     
    jalls, Sep 27, 2017
    jalls, Sep 27, 2017
    #13
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  14. Sep 27, 2017 #14
    5adn8m8

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    Definitely the best reply I've ever read in a while.thank you!!!
     
    5adn8m8, Sep 27, 2017
    5adn8m8, Sep 27, 2017
    #14
  15. Sep 27, 2017 #15
    NewManV

    NewManV Fapstronaut

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    Thanks all of you for the extra bode of confidence. I woke up this morning still trying not to be pissed at myself. I know it was naïve to think I could go the marathon on one run (since I started nofap a couple weeks ago). But damn, I've been down this path for too long.

    OK ok, moping complete. I'm not here for a quick fix, this is my new life!
     
    NewManV, Sep 27, 2017
    NewManV, Sep 27, 2017
    #15
  16. Sep 27, 2017 #16
    AscendingBorborite

    AscendingBorborite Fapstronaut

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    Same thing happened to me. I thought I'd atleast reach two weeks without relapsing right off the bat. Boy was I wrong lol
     
    AscendingBorborite, Sep 27, 2017
    AscendingBorborite, Sep 27, 2017
    #16
    NewManV likes this.

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