D
Deleted Account
Guest
Hi all,
To keep it short and sweet, I'm Alex, 23, started watching porn when I was about 14 and because of it I've never had sex and I've realised I'm never going to be happy or succesful with continued porn use.
I've struggled with depression since I was young, always had very low self-esteem but always had a desire to do, to be something more. I don't know if anyone else here has felt the same but I've always been terrified of being average yet felt that I've been doomed to it, and that actually caused me to fall apart and funnily become less than average.
Flashback to about a year ago, I got the lowest point of my life, suidical et al, and then I turned it around. I found an opportunity to turn my life around through business and for a while, I was sucessful, and during that time without putting two and two together I actually quit porn and masturbating all together for a couple of months, not because of a determination to quit but just because I found something to fuel myself and didn't feel the need. This time was the happiest and most succesful I've ever been.
Then, somewhere along the way, again without any real thought, I fell back into the trap and I've struggled again since. I'm only now realising, since deciding to quit a couple of days ago, that porn has undoubtedbly affected my performance at work without me even realising, and I'll never progress any further if I continue it. Relationships and sex aren't really my main concern at the moment because I know they'll come naturally and they're not a big part of my life atm.
Basically, I don't care how long it takes to reboot, I don't know if I'll have a girlfriend or sex for months or years, but I can't continue with my addiction if I want more out of life. Porn's not an option anymore. 3 days clean so far, hopefully I'll start seeing progress as I start my new life clean.
To keep it short and sweet, I'm Alex, 23, started watching porn when I was about 14 and because of it I've never had sex and I've realised I'm never going to be happy or succesful with continued porn use.
I've struggled with depression since I was young, always had very low self-esteem but always had a desire to do, to be something more. I don't know if anyone else here has felt the same but I've always been terrified of being average yet felt that I've been doomed to it, and that actually caused me to fall apart and funnily become less than average.
Flashback to about a year ago, I got the lowest point of my life, suidical et al, and then I turned it around. I found an opportunity to turn my life around through business and for a while, I was sucessful, and during that time without putting two and two together I actually quit porn and masturbating all together for a couple of months, not because of a determination to quit but just because I found something to fuel myself and didn't feel the need. This time was the happiest and most succesful I've ever been.
Then, somewhere along the way, again without any real thought, I fell back into the trap and I've struggled again since. I'm only now realising, since deciding to quit a couple of days ago, that porn has undoubtedbly affected my performance at work without me even realising, and I'll never progress any further if I continue it. Relationships and sex aren't really my main concern at the moment because I know they'll come naturally and they're not a big part of my life atm.
Basically, I don't care how long it takes to reboot, I don't know if I'll have a girlfriend or sex for months or years, but I can't continue with my addiction if I want more out of life. Porn's not an option anymore. 3 days clean so far, hopefully I'll start seeing progress as I start my new life clean.
