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New Fapstronaut
Hi: I'm a 45 year old male, who got involved early in sexually acting-out.
When I started masturbating...at first I didn't have any access to any porn.
But with time, I encorporated the JC Penny's catalog and Sears RoeBuck calalog.
Looking for women in swimsuits and lingerie.
But ever since early-on there was a self-importance put-on me by my dad and others
in my friends circle for me to man-up and be anti-homo. And so one day after school
in about 3rd grade...I came home to masturbate and started putting an improvised
sex toy up my behind. I felt sorta like I lost something more than usual that time.
And by now (2021), I've had about 10,000-13,000+ O's (sometimes pulling-off
3 O's in about 3-6 hours (after picking of a porn website where they showed
porn tubes and that stuff really burned me in.) but 99.9% of those 13,000 some O's
I had something up my rectum. Early-on the sex toy was a 'bottle' so I called mine
PMBO (porn masturbation bottle and orgasm) But later-on started using 'real' sex
toys up there.
I waited until about 2000-2002 to 'try it' with some ladies who it was against my
religious belief but there is a sexual 'push' in my family (as I discovered a sex-ring)
Kept my orgasm virginity though because (no offense and I'm not racist here) those
black street walkers in a larger city than what I'm used to...one was a name that I'll
abbreviate her initials A.W. and I penetrated her vaginally though when we were both
naked and I was on top (and I had a pretty nice hard-on) it was about 2000-2002 but
I wondered why her vagina wasn't so tight and I asked her and she said she's a
mom. So that partly answered me. There was head that I sorta received too, and
that made me feel a bit better towards having O. By about 3 different females...all
black. And now I can say that with neither of it did I feel totally enough like coming.
So I didn't. I'm not a penetration virgin but an "O" virgin while penetrating someone
else. So
since those days I pulled off about 8000-10000 more O's looking at porn and
I'm getting considerable pied. And am worried, what if I like cannot have an orgasm
with a wife? I'm Christian and God says that: 'you'll have a wife'.
Maybe there's quite a lot a person can do if they just lovingly slack-off in O (here)
just like nursing yourself back to health if you get sick or an injury slowly with time
it can happen.
PS: I used to be able to pop up my penis up in the air by pumping it. But that stopped
after a certain cursing had happened. And overnight, my wood went down. Bad
story. But true.
And now about all sorta of wood-like situations are blunted in my life. . . Like morning
wood is much less too. PS: I started about a year ago attending SAA Zoom spirituality
meetings and became familiar with the jargon might need to have a sponcer...but
never had one... Might have helped a little....(I had a 11 day sobriety streak recently
after incorporating acupuncture plus Covenant Eyes and SAA...PPS: what if I need to
incorporate porn when I go to have to have sex with my wife of the future. PPPS: I've
got a Christian minister too. What do you all think? Thanks for all of your advice!
When I started masturbating...at first I didn't have any access to any porn.
But with time, I encorporated the JC Penny's catalog and Sears RoeBuck calalog.
Looking for women in swimsuits and lingerie.
But ever since early-on there was a self-importance put-on me by my dad and others
in my friends circle for me to man-up and be anti-homo. And so one day after school
in about 3rd grade...I came home to masturbate and started putting an improvised
sex toy up my behind. I felt sorta like I lost something more than usual that time.
And by now (2021), I've had about 10,000-13,000+ O's (sometimes pulling-off
3 O's in about 3-6 hours (after picking of a porn website where they showed
porn tubes and that stuff really burned me in.) but 99.9% of those 13,000 some O's
I had something up my rectum. Early-on the sex toy was a 'bottle' so I called mine
PMBO (porn masturbation bottle and orgasm) But later-on started using 'real' sex
toys up there.
I waited until about 2000-2002 to 'try it' with some ladies who it was against my
religious belief but there is a sexual 'push' in my family (as I discovered a sex-ring)
Kept my orgasm virginity though because (no offense and I'm not racist here) those
black street walkers in a larger city than what I'm used to...one was a name that I'll
abbreviate her initials A.W. and I penetrated her vaginally though when we were both
naked and I was on top (and I had a pretty nice hard-on) it was about 2000-2002 but
I wondered why her vagina wasn't so tight and I asked her and she said she's a
mom. So that partly answered me. There was head that I sorta received too, and
that made me feel a bit better towards having O. By about 3 different females...all
black. And now I can say that with neither of it did I feel totally enough like coming.
So I didn't. I'm not a penetration virgin but an "O" virgin while penetrating someone
else. So
since those days I pulled off about 8000-10000 more O's looking at porn and
I'm getting considerable pied. And am worried, what if I like cannot have an orgasm
with a wife? I'm Christian and God says that: 'you'll have a wife'.
Maybe there's quite a lot a person can do if they just lovingly slack-off in O (here)
just like nursing yourself back to health if you get sick or an injury slowly with time
it can happen.
PS: I used to be able to pop up my penis up in the air by pumping it. But that stopped
after a certain cursing had happened. And overnight, my wood went down. Bad
story. But true.
And now about all sorta of wood-like situations are blunted in my life. . . Like morning
wood is much less too. PS: I started about a year ago attending SAA Zoom spirituality
meetings and became familiar with the jargon might need to have a sponcer...but
never had one... Might have helped a little....(I had a 11 day sobriety streak recently
after incorporating acupuncture plus Covenant Eyes and SAA...PPS: what if I need to
incorporate porn when I go to have to have sex with my wife of the future. PPPS: I've
got a Christian minister too. What do you all think? Thanks for all of your advice!