Need advice ASAP... Like by the end of the day ASAP.

I don't think you should PMO or MO at all during any of these events. For one, the brain fog and grogginess is a pain in itself. And two, do you really wanna throw off 35 days of rebooting for a little bit of pleasure? I think there are other ways to de-stress and cool down. Just take that into consideration. You're doing pretty well - don't lose it due to pressure.

 

I think the cool confidence you will have from maintaining your streak and knowing you are in control of your urges will serve you better in a debate setting than a possible testosterone spike. Either way, good luck.
Nom

 

I'm not sure about any of it, whether from an emotional point of view or a biochemical/neurotransmitter issue. I would say everyone here has had different experiences with M,O, and P. I don't think PMO will signif increase your chances of doing well for the debate tournament. It might backfire tremendously. If you PMO and do well, there's a possibility that you might consider falsely attributing your success to PMO, and that could have long term, possibly lifetime, consequences. Addicts' brains do that sort of thing. Trust me. I know from personal and professional experience for longer than you've been alive for both. If you did NOT PMO, and you did extremely well, you will be doubly proud that you did not have to rely on P to get you through a tough spot. It's pretty much never the answer to any tough spot. And if you think this is the toughest part of your entire 18 year life, I guarantee you that you can ask anyone older than you that life will bring WAY more tough spots in life. Are you going to turn to PMO to solve those as well? I'd even say that the tough spots most people have here have been CAUSED by PMO. And even so, they still go back to it. It's the crazy thing about addiction. I personally would love to see you extraordinarily well on your tournament and keep your streak going.

 

I'd say you make some valid arguments. I'm glad P is not on the table of options. As for MO, can you do it to sensation only and not bring up images and fantasies? If yes, then there is a chance you might be able to get away with it w/o craving more and MORE and MORE. Ultimately, you have to look at your particular set of weaknesses and what you're here for. That's a different answer for each person. Most everyone is here to stop porn addiction. Another set is excessive MO. Some are suffering with PIED and want to reset their bodies. And then there's a host of other things as well.

I'd say if you're abstaining from MO just to keep a counter going or to get people here to look up to you, then that might not be as effective or productive. That's like a person who is not gluten sensitive but chooses to go gluten free anyway just for the heck of it. Sure, it's doable, and it won't hurt, but it's inconvenient, costs more, and is unnecessary.

For me PERSONALLY, I have a much more difficult time with P and a slightly less difficult time with frequent/excessive M, to the point where I've had some DE. So, I'm quitting porn, and for the time being, I'm abstaining from M. I'm not opposed to sex so won't turn it down if the opportunity presents itself. Those are MY rules for MYSELF. YOu need to figure out your own boundaries.

 

Good insight. You have a lot to consider. Ultimately, you're going to have to determine if one episode of masturbation is going to help you in this particular circumstance while having no lasting detrimental effects, or it's going to start the boulder rolling downhill again with excessive edging and wasting your time with erotic books. You took a lot of effort to stop that boulder a year ago. Don't do anything to get it rolling off the cliff again. Only you can decide if masturbating will do that.

 

Don't do it, for a number of reasons. For one, I fear the logical arguments you're presenting (some of which I have gone through for myself) could be your brain trying to trick you into relapse. I have found that, while my desires for the things that ruined me are almost completely gone, they return in periods of intense distress, fear, despair, and I think embarrassment, too. So, even though these arguments may have merit, and may be objective in your case, you will not know that until afterward. A technique I've used for resisting urges, that perhaps you can use for resisting this line of thinking, is "how will I feel about this afterward?" When I think about how I'll feel after giving in to the urge, it sort of connects me with what *I* want, and helps me tell it apart from what my subconscious wants.

The other reason is a fairly cold and logical one. What is the risk-benefit-analysis here?

If you do not MO
Risk: Doing poorly at debates that are important to you right now.
Reward: Ensuring your recovery continues, and preventing the negative impacts of PMO on your life.

If you MO:
Risk: Relapsing and returning to where you once were in your battle with porn, and even it being worse than before.
Reward: Doing well at this debate event.

What will you wish you had chosen in two weeks? In a year? In five years? In 10 years? In 40 years? Are the debates important? Yes. Are they more important than being in control of yourself for the rest of your life? Absolutely not. To me, there is just no contest. Plus there is not even any guarantee it would improve your performance. You could MO, relapse, and backslide, and gain nothing at all. It could even make your performance worse!

It's like a financial decision. Do you take $5,000, use it for a down payment, and finance a $50,000 car, or do you invest that $5,000, and the money you save by driving a reasonable car, and let that money grow over many years, so you can have things you enjoy throughout your life? Invest the money. Invest in yourself. Go to the debate without MO, and still kick ass. You can. Don't let this sickness tell you otherwise. You are good enough to excel on your own.

 

Another thought. We all have lost a lot due to this addiction, and sacrificed a lot to defeat it. It requires sacrifice. These debates are one of those sacrifices you will have to make to become the person you want to be. Just like my athletes have to sacrifice a lot of social experiences with their friends, freedom to eat how they want, and many other things to excel in sport. They want those things; they're just not worth risking their goals. This is not worth risking your goal. This is just one sacrifice that is absolutely worth making to have the life you want.

 

Bro don't fap. Because if you face other challenges in the future you will resort to this as a short term solution. Life will always throw curve balls at you. Best for you is to channel all this chaotic emotions into something productive. What you are seeking is what Napoleon Hill calls Sexual Transmutation.

http://www.wilywalnut.com/sexgenius.html

https://boldanddetermined.com/how-to-harness-your-sexual-energy/

 

Interesting. I'm finishing day 5 up today on no pmo. At the same time I went like 6 months without mo. This was before the internet. And I had gone a few months without mo just because I got tired of it. I honestly don't remember a big spark off intelligence but I did feel better about my self. Nothing magical happened but I hadn't heard about a lot of this research.

I'm guessing your arguing against Religion? Or what type of Religion is the debate over? It just sounds like an oxymoron to mo for a religious debate. Just giving honest feedback.

College was so stressful for me. I was so exhausted my last semester. I ask for a leave of absence from my job. They said, "no". I had a mental break down. I graduated in the summer instead of the spring so that wasn't a big deal. At the same time I got fired from my job when I graduated college. That is a painful experience I'm trying to work through. At the same time it is just an unmanageable situation. I made the correct moves but my job wasn't supporting me.

Anyway, if you can stop doing other things to help prepare for the debate would be a good idea. If I had 2 tests in one day I could get one moved to another day or you can explain how busy you are to your professor(s) (not the pmo part) and see if they will let you do stuff at a later time. Breath through it and try to make well thought out decisions.

As far as p/m/o. It's up to you and how you feel about it. I hear you saying you want to do it in order to manipulate your brain chemicals. In other words you want to relax now and feel good at game time (the debate). I think I did that balancing act my whole life. You are always going to have stressful events to work through. College is like an intro to stress in real life. And since your on this site talking about it. I' going to say their is a part of you that doesn't want to do it. Everything you typed sounds like a justification in some ways.

I guess I'm all for moving forward with p/m/o at some point in life. It just depends on why I would make that move. Is fear of failure a good enough reason to pmo?

I hope my ramble helped. Let us know what you decide. It's just a 24 hour deal for me but I'm in for the long hall!
~Character Is Defined By What We Do When No One Is Watching. ~Whitherspoon

 

Boundaries are good thing and personal too. My change constantly. I was pmo every day or every other day. I would try to make boundaries about not paying for it. What 3 to 5 days. It just didn't work. When I was working and in college it was easier to do. I always justified doing by it being faster and easier than getting a real girl. Relationship take work and I did not want to do that.