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Need Advice on a new Strategy for Nighttime urges

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Sep 21, 2021.

  1. Hey everyone,

    Haven't been doing that great. I would be lying if I tried to glorify my situation. I am at an all time low, and its all because of my PMO addiction.

    I have noticed that 90% of my relapsing occurs while I am in bed at night. I have tried several things to shake it: no longer sleep next to my phone, have tried wearing jeans to bed, hell, even bought a stupid sports cup (didnt work). I always find a way to beat off, which then puts me to sleep. If I dont, I usually lay there wide awake until I do. This also usually leads to a morning relapse too.

    Do you have any recommendations for things I should be doing to stop PMO at night? As silly as it seems, I bought an expensive set of sheets that I hope will be so nice that I will want to avoid soiling them. I tried melatonin, but it makes me SO groggy the next day.

    Any ideas?
    BrighterFuture likes this.
  2. Odiebear

    Odiebear Fapstronaut

    Here are a few tips that have helped me with this issue:
    -meditation or sleeping exercises.
    -music if you're into that
    -going to bed tired
    -shutting off your devices an hour before bed

    This might seem counterproductive and disrupt certain aspect of your life. But if nothing will work, just try to fall asleep, if you can't, just keep trying. You'll eventually have to fall asleep and you'll eventually shake off the need to PMO at night. You conditioned yourself to need pmo to fall asleep. So just stop the reward and the habit should stop.
  3. Quezatolah

    Quezatolah Fapstronaut

    No outside physical tips are going to help you. This is a problem with your mind.

    I want you to zoom out from this issue right now and focus on other areas of your life that need fixing.

    The truth is everything has a spill-over effect and if there are parts of your life or your personality that is lacking, then it's going to show up as the urge to beat off at night.

    Work on your personal weaknesses, fears, insecurities etc. Clean up the rest of your life and you'll find it much easier to overcome the urge when it rears its ugly head and show it who's boss.

    Good luck.
    thepowerofone likes this.
  4. approachingrelevance

    approachingrelevance Fapstronaut

    Check out the Andrew Huberman podcast for super scientific explanations of sleep. My big takeaway is that the sleep process really starts when you wake up, especially when you first let light hit your eyes, and also starting a sleep process hours before you get to bed that gets you more and more calm. It's long but it's worth checking out.

    I'd also suggest listening to some kind of sleep meditation recording from a meditation app, or music, or white noise or an audio book. Try breaking up your internal dialogue as you go to sleep.
  5. randomname3

    randomname3 Fapstronaut

    This is a really hard part of quitting PMO. The most desirable strategy is to do everything in your power to prevent these night time attacks from happening. Simply put, you train yourself to never look or think in lust--to always look/think/click/get away from anything that's awakening lust.

    But sometimes, especially early on, one of these attacks still might happen. One helpful technique is to override your visual imagination with something else. Imagining myself walking around the game Myst helped me: its a sufficiently interesting and complex yet completely non-sexual environment that it helps draw attention away from invading lustful thoughts.

    In the end though, you may be forced to simply power through it. In this case, recognize that the temptation itself is limited: it cannot last forever, and typically cannot return for some time. The more you overcome these, the stronger you'll be for the next one.
  6. BrighterFuture

    BrighterFuture Fapstronaut

    I've faced the same issue at you, It goes something like this, the longer I stay awake in my bed the more likely I'll relapse, so to solve my issue I needed something that made me sleep faster, I've found that the only cure to my issue is...

    it's really simple, move your body at day time you'll be able to sleep better at night time, make exercise a habit and you'll sleep faster, which makes you less likely to relapse at night, it really helps, give it a try!
    thepowerofone likes this.
  7. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

    One thing that works for me is going for a walk. Usually the urges at night happen when I can not sleep and I grab my phone. I am not going to sleep for a while anyways so a short walk will get me out of the struggle at least for a while. Also I think that walking alone at night is quite therapeutic in a weird way. There is this weird vibe to it. Also I like to sing sometimes when there is no one at sight.
  8. ProminentPosterior

    ProminentPosterior Fapstronaut

    Some mild antihistamines (like over the counter allergy meds) made me drowsy enough to fall asleep easy. Sometimes I feel like I was carried my first 30 days through them.

    I was legitimately having allergy flare ups at the time and didn’t like how drowsy they made me during the day, so I opted for taking them at night. Got a nice twofer

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