Need help How do i deal with constantly having violent intrusive thoughts

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Fluets_2, Oct 10, 2019.

  1. Fluets_2

    Fluets_2 Fapstronaut

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    I am running out of time for today on the internet and i posted a detailed account of what i have been avoiding about myself since i became aware of my existence :

    https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/recovery-journal.64122/page-21#post-2273149


    One post i saw suggested to view these thoughts as something not related to me, to activate my imagination and to see them as something outside and not related to fluets boy..

    What can i do? How do i deal with this?
     
  2. M-mcfly

    M-mcfly Fapstronaut

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    I can relate to this. I have been suffering with similar thoughts most of my life and have never shared it with anyone. My thoughts have been less intrusive lately, could that be down to not watching porn? I hope so.
     
  3. Fluets_2

    Fluets_2 Fapstronaut

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    I feel you, i thought it was normal till i looked it up on reddit, apparently its not and you are supposed to get help somewhere about it (i just cant afford to spend money on bullshit feel good doctors, psychologists in our country aren't that great).

    I finally managed to muster up the courage to share it with my wife yesterday morning while were laying in bed, she told me she has similar thoughts but nothing like mine. Here advice was to ignore the thoughts and act as if they are something not apart of you, moreover to stay strong and determined even with bad thoughts haunting me. She also told me that this is why she always keeps herself busy doing something important. she also reminded me of something i used to do but stopped since we got married last year.

    Meditation and exercise. The first is the action of not interacting with your thoughts and being one with yourself and the second is training your mind to harness your will to achieve the betterment of your physical body. Both require avoidance of negative feeling states.

    I've done the above a lot in the past, i am going to start doing it again today once no matter what..

    Purposeful and meaningful life is important and it doesn't come without effort. I've forgotten that and have slacked quite a lot this past year (gained 10kg weight lost all muscle and agility and stopped reading.. got addicted to tv and the internet..)

    So lets pick ourselves up..
     
    M-mcfly and Hishiryo like this.
  4. jarvyjarvison

    jarvyjarvison Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like Harm OCD. It’s more common than you think. Google it.
     
  5. Fluets_2

    Fluets_2 Fapstronaut

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    I read about it now..


    Sounds about right.. One part caught my attention quite well.. Cause i do it all the time without self control.

    "Watching triggering videos or reading triggering stories while imagining yourself in the circumstances can also be useful. But this only works if you do it without the intention of reassuring yourse"
    This

    "I can’t wrap up this blog about unwanted violent thoughts in OCD without at least mentioning mindfulness. Mindfulness is a word used to describe a perspective we take when we are observing the present moment as it is instead of being distracted by our ideas of what it could be. Intrusive thoughts are, by the very nature of them being perceived as intruders, major distractions from the present moment. If we could see them as mere objects of attention, ingredients in (not contaminants of) our mental soup, we could notice them and return from them without having to meet OCD’s compulsive conditions first. Developing mindfulness skills is therefore useful both in rolling with the day-to-day experience of having unwanted thoughts and with resisting compulsions in the midst of doing ERP."


    Meditation and training my thoughts is the key.. Thank you i forgot about this completely and i can attest to its success - but its like working out physically, the moment you stop.. They come back.

    In 2015 i went through some life altering changes, i just forced my self to change to the point i wasn't evne the same human being anymore, then i declined in 2017.. and now completely let go in 2019 after i got married.. Gotta pick myself back up.

    Thnak you
     

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