Need help . PAWS or mental illness

V

Vlad333r

New Fapstronaut
Hello , i really need an advice for the first time on this platform.
My period of PMO was around 7 years almost everyday with some binges, last 2-3 years pmoing frequently on weed.
I’m 19 years old and started NoFap around 5 months ago i had ups and downs with up to 30 days streaks. During energy days i always ate healty and tried to workout , felt good , meditated as much as i could. Flatlines were pretty intense having days where i couldn t even wake up and straight depression but i knew they will pass so i stayed strong.
There comes this new streak of 75 days where around day 30 the pure hell comes down.which is pretty much a flatline where i had BDD episodes ( resulted to high stress probably) strong GAD symptoms including poor digestion , constipation etc. , cold hands and feets . Many 0 energy days probably due to adrenal fatigue. And the last days where the hardest where i had vivid horrible nightmares .intrusive depresive thoughts , crying on despair and suicidal thoughts .30 days i had no emotions and a dead dick , no libido + insomnia.
Now i m feeling somewhat calm but so depersonalized and derealized with childhood thoughts and thinking all i love is my mother and that’s why i’m still here.
I say i’m non human because nothing gives me joy only crying ( not even cigaretts anymore or games )
In the end i’m really glad you have read this and i would love ( even if i can’t) if any paws experiencer would give an advice .
I’m still thinking it may be light at the end of the tunnel because i had good times with nofap and i’m really afraid to live all my life on drugs ( antidepresants )

Good luck on your streaks guys
 
Hey friend.
I'm going to open this dialogue that life is tough. And there is no absolute guidebook no real black or white answers for many questions.
I've also had episodes of derealization and depersonalization. Strange strange times. Anyway I also had many years self medicating then after I got cleaned up. My mind seems to be in a long long flat time. Perhaps quitting some medication causes is to stay in that melancholy. Bit I do get glimpses of joy still. And stupidly I broke my almost two months streak if you listen to the lie to just relapse, don't. It makes it hard to get momentum again. I get suicidal even after fapping.
You got to fight this for all it's worth. You are worth so much more than what you can see now. Maybe take up running I did a couple months ago because of nofap and it's been a huge part of my recovery. It clears the mind. Also writing. You got to get the anxiety and the built up thoughts out somehow. And yes some people do stay stuck in a longer flatline. But if you stick at it exercise eat healthy. You will come right. Don't give up. Plenty of good nofap videos on youtube. My favorite channel is project stronger self. Go look him up. He will answer a lot of your questions. All the best friend.
 
Perhaps you would benefit talking to your doctor about some medication. I finally decided to try something so I'm on zoloft. First few weeks are hell bit I've researched it and seems to be good for anxiety and intrusive thoughts and OCD. Sounds like you got similar issue to me. But make sure you have support for those first weeks and start on a low dose like 25 mgs one week increasing 25 a week if you feel calm enough to about100mg final dose.
 
Henryforward said:
Ty for your answear , for sure no black and white answears i tried everything i could during nofap and it’s the first time i feel this heel , i feel like is just no more dopamine and serotonine in my brain.( i assume this happening to the imbalances i created in the past with the weed and some drugs ) . Perhaps i will go to a doctor at least to regain my apetite , my libido and help with sleep.
I wonder if 5-htp is a thing i should try tho.

All the best
Click to expand...
 
I take 5-htp and magnesium at night.
And in the morning a multi vitamin and zinc. Also fish oil is beneficial try those for now. Also have at least an apple or a banana a day. And yes exercise is crucial! You'll get there. Remember you don't eat an elephant in one bite. It's little by little.
 
I guess i will not seek a doctor anymore since this night i felt truly happy since long time omfg . I guess i just got scared by dpdr but i will fight for my new personality with all i have and never smoke weed again.
All the best bro thank you for advices
 
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