Day 0 I feel ... angry, sad, why do I fell this easy? Is there any power left on me? Last relapse trigger beside emotion : one of my friends show me what I can say now P... Emotion that I identified as a trigger : tired, exhausted, depressed, feel a negative happy that seek reward more than I myself could support (PMO) Does I not take this fight serious? Does I just playing around? Does I don't willing to sacrifice what I have to beat this addiction? Does I don't want to see the happy face of my family, especially my parents because I achieve something that can be proud of? ^copied from my journal After school, it's very rare to not to tired from it. And as I explain before, it (tired) will lead me to relapse. This one is the biggest percentage that contributing on my relapse's factor. About my current condition now, I'm depressed. And if I succeed about something (I will explain this "something" probably) that I desperately sought now, It'll lead me to negative happy. Both will make me relapse, and I worry that this condition will lasted long. I really need advice about this since this kind of thing is those that I can't reveal on my RL.