Need help understanding my emotions and relapse advice

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Catondo\, Jul 18, 2018.

  1. Catondo\

    Catondo\ Fapstronaut

    Ok I relapsed again after 8 days
    It begins day 6-7 every time.
    It begins with me being depressed and anxious, I feel lonely, and really bad in general.
    Given my weakened mental state I simply give up to urges and finally search for porn and MO.
    I know today I should feel bad for relapsing, but I feel energetic, strong willed and confident, my mind is more clear.
    Yesterday morning I was on my 8 day free, this was a good feeling, but the rest was just black.

    This happened yesterday and for the 3rd time, it's strange because during the first days I still have urges but I am more focused and strong so I can fight back really well. Do you want PMO? well I go to the gym instead, PMO? not this time we go to the club.
    Then this little depression creeps in and I don't want to do anything and stay home and then we all know how it ends.

    Another thing: day 7 evening I had a strong urge and already gave up, but I could not PMO because I had already something to do that evening, so I showered and prepared myself instead of relapsing, after the shower the urge was gone but I was very very weakened, my legs started trembling but I forced myself to go out. Needless to say that evening was miserable. I relapsed the day after.

    Is this a common experience for you?
    What kind of advice can more experienced fapstronauts give to me?
    I really need help, thank you.
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2018
  2. itachi.

    itachi. Fapstronaut

    it is like your vicious circle, i was same , easy reach 6-7-8 days then i cannot hold myself. i solved that problem, first time when i come close to 7 days, something that is not a plan occur like disease, sad news, travelling etc. then i didnt pmo and reach 14 days, and its gave me power because i broke my vicious circle. i saw that 7 days is just illusion i can reach 14 days easy.i reach 180 days then relapse , Second time, i could not break 7 days circle again and i thought that i can break only when something that is not a plan must occur. However then i found nofap site and try somethings and solve that problem, they are :
    1) find the reason why u are depressed and anxious ? and try to solve that problem. if u solve that problem obly %30 , it give u power to break 7 days circle
    2) read more about pmo addiction and convince yourself, for example read or watch about pmo addiction everyday 20 minutes , and when u come to close 7 days , read in that day more.
    3) when u go out or go gym , dont forget that it may increase your urges , because u see girls , go forrest maybe instead of go shopping. and in gym your testosterone increase , gym is good after u reach 14 days. if u feel your testosterone increase , dont go in 7days
    4) change your bad habits to good ones. For example i used to play computer games, and it is bad habits for me and it trigger me. My brain say me if u play computer game , u can pmo what is the different ? (if u addict to play computer games it must be hard to quit 2 addictions and people dont recommend that, but i am not addict to cg)
    5) Accountabilility partner is vital,
    6) find why urges come after 6 days, youtube? movies ? real girls ? dreaming ? laziness ? food ? social media ? , sorry man i cant remember myself , sometimes trigger factors lead urges, sometimes coming end of vicious circle lead urges
  3. Catondo\

    Catondo\ Fapstronaut

    Thank you very much for your contribution. Ok so

    3) You are right. I am a very very fit and have a great body and a a lot of testo circulating. I can say for sure that during nofap your t level increases at least 20%, after strenght training you experience another t boost so it adds. This can actual be a benefit, but I'm not sure. My aggressivity goes up and I have to spend mental resources to control myself .
    4)mmm I tend to play more games while nofap because actually it's agood substitute, is it so wrong?
    5)Do you mean a RL one? Or a virtual one is good too?
    6)I still don't know this one, probably laziness.

    About 2):
    I feel that reading about nofap and how to not relapse etc can actually be detrimental. I think it's better to do other things.
  4. maserati23

    maserati23 Fapstronaut

    Yeah that's usually the hardest. Another thing that helps is try to help others and check in on other fapstronauts it helps to know that you are not alone. In fact that is what I am doing right now. I too am on day 8 after a week long binge. Before that I had stayed clean 2 weeks. Don't get over confident. If it feels like a bad idea DONT DO IT!! Instagram was a huge trigger for me, roaming freely on FB orYouTube, you're bound to run into things that will trigger you. Ask yourself "how is this action going to benefit me? Or will it harm me?"
    You're not alone brother. Keep up the good fight
  5. itachi.

    itachi. Fapstronaut

    u can find AP in nofap sites ,
    playing game and laziness are my triggers if i spend so much time on computer it leads watching p, u should find your triggers , i recommend u to read nofap newsletter and beginner books, dont forget that if u relapse , u did somethings wrongly. If u cannot break circle , firstly try to read about beginner newsletter then watch video then read books :) i think it is the most vital part , we fight that addiction and first we must know our enemy.

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