Need Help with Cheating - Accountability

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by piggy.d, Oct 10, 2018.

  1. piggy.d

    piggy.d Fapstronaut

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    So, i have been a Covenanteyes user for about a year and a half, have a good relationship with an Accountability partner (who is also my filter guardian and Acct Admin). It hasnt always been smooth, with lots of failings on my part. He has my settings set pretty tight, so not much gets through, and I dont think he reads the reports that close, knowing I am filtered.

    However...out of desparation one night, I managed to accidentally get access to his Admin account. Now, its actually my account...but he has Admin rights. He doesnt know this of course. And now I find myself, going in there, and turning it all off, so I look at porn for a while, restore everything after, and no-one is the wiser.

    I know this is wrong, but not sure what to do. I want to tell him, but am scared to. (admittley I like the access), thinking of contacting Covenanteyes and telling them...but...I dont know.

    Thoughts?
     
  2. 5waysup

    5waysup Fapstronaut

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    Tell him and move along. Fight the addiction!
     
  3. piggy.d

    piggy.d Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for encouragement 5way! But as mentioned in another thread on this topic, my AP has said he will issue me a child account across all my devices if he finds me cheating or lying again...saying "i cant be trusted". So I am little nervous, as I definatley dont want to go into that level of restriction, so its not as simple as just fessing up.
     
  4. 5waysup

    5waysup Fapstronaut

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    From where I stand, it's clear... you've got an issue (like the rest of us) and are afraid of the consequences.
    If a child account is what it takes to keep you from viewing P, then so be it.

    Sorry to be so blunt. I'm in the same vote as you... and I'll go to the end of the earth to find porn.
    I installed the K9 filter to prevent porn websites. Then i went to Youtube and found a Porn movie so now I've stopped Youtube all together, which is a pain but I live with it.

    Then I downloaded a liveTV app and was watching on that app. So I've come around and deleted that.

    As you know, ever day is a struggle.

    I once hit 21 days and felt great. I can't wait to get there again.

    For now I live in shame and guilt.
     
  5. piggy.d

    piggy.d Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your honesty about this. I am like that also i guess. I am not sure what is worse thou sometimes, the shame of being wanker, or the shame of being treated like a 10yr old. I just hate turning on my devices and seeing the monitor logos, the "Access Restricted" messages etc. I know I need them, and without them, I actually get a little scared feeling, so they bring comfort also...but I at least like to think of myself as honest. Guess i just dont want my nose rubbed in the reality.
     
  6. If you stop acting like a 10 year old then you won’t have to be treated like one. Start taking some accountability for your actions and be a big boy, you’re in your 40s and you need to act like it.
     
  7. piggy.d

    piggy.d Fapstronaut

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    Thanks GP - but i didnt mean to break into his account really, i just got super lucky guessing the PW. I just think the consequences here are a little harsh
     
  8. Really? I don’t think it’s harsh at all. In fact what I want you to do is go tell in yourself. Right now. Tell him what you did and I really think you should get a child account setting out on you until you’re able to be trusted. Because right now you CANNOT be trusted to not look at bad stuff
     
  9. piggy.d

    piggy.d Fapstronaut

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    Hmm...tough crowd. I guess on some level I was hoping that I was overthinking it, and it wasnt such a big deal, as its my account anyway...and I only did a couple of times. But, i know you are right.
     
  10. When we are in an addiction we always think it’s no big deal, just a couple of times.

    You are gonna go and confess what you did, make sure that admin account password is changed and locked right. And make sure you have child settings put on your account. You should really ask fo it actually.
     
  11. piggy.d

    piggy.d Fapstronaut

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    Well i think i could ask for "Teen"....that might be ok.
     
  12. Really? You really think you should be allowed to view teen age content? You hacked the damn system to look at porn. Do what you like but if I was your AP and or filter guardian, I would have you under the kids setting like for 5 and 6 year olds.
     
  13. piggy.d

    piggy.d Fapstronaut

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    well the setting is for under 10....but yeah, its strict. The teen setting is at least a little liberal - social media etc.
     
  14. Good, go ask to be put on the under 10 setting. Maybe after a couple months of it you’ll realize what a mistake you made and start acting correctly. Enough is enough.
     
  15. piggy.d

    piggy.d Fapstronaut

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    Ughhh...."months" sounds very daunting...that hadnt even occoured to me it being that long, i was freaking out over a week or two...

    (you two would get along thou, he is also firm and doesn't put up with my bs - he says i need that to follow through and man up (my problem i guess from being raised by my 3 older sisters))

    I guess i could ask for it, but have it for a set time that wasnt too crazy
     
  16. I’m sure we would, bring string and firm and unrelenting is what defeats strong addictions

    You definitely should go ask for the under 10 setting, at least 1 month. I really don’t accept you being on it for less than that.
     
  17. piggy.d

    piggy.d Fapstronaut

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    Deleted Account likes this.
  18. 5waysup

    5waysup Fapstronaut

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    Hey Piggy,

    We're no different than you and have also been through the same situations. I'm sure (myself included) that at one point or another we've been dishonest. Yes, it a struggle for all of us but we've created this mess for ourselves and need to work together to get over this disease.
     

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