Need help with setting Boundaries.

I'm aware that trauma could be possible, although nothing I know of would hint of that. She's done a lot more counseling alone for depression and life coping issues but I'm not privy to the topics discussed.

I'd say the rape comment was a low point but in truth it was not, mostly because of the truth in her intentions that came with it. I guess if I didn't have trust issues around scheduled sexual time I would not need these boundaries now.

Ironically, it sure seems like I'll be deferring the next scheduled time (the time of which is also subject of discussion) as I have a Rhumatoid arthritis flair up and a bit of general malaise presumably from the root canal (also the trigger for the flairup most likely).

I won't rush this, ideas are still welcome.