Need Helpful Advice and Knowledge.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Kenworth_95, Feb 13, 2014.

  1. Kenworth_95

    Kenworth_95 Fapstronaut

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    So I just relapsed again 5 hours ago. It was due to temptation; after several days, everytime I start building up stress. This stress is released when I relapse and I feel fine, for the exception that I relapsed. Its always the same thing, just now I thought I was going to receive money, so the first thing I did was look to purchase sex. Then I couldn't so I settled for adult videos.

    I settled for Adult videos after I failed to purchase a female for sex. Every time I get paid I struggle with the temptation to purchase sex. The stress on temptation is what causes me to fall. And when I can't purchase it, I end up PMO.
    But when I don't have money, its usually just the thought of my addiction in the back of my mind that I cannot forget and causes stress, even if I'm not tempted.

    Starting my counter over again. So several problems I encounter days after my relapse: Stress in chest and mind, Obsessive Compulsive disorder (constantly fighting the thoughts of PMO), and then getting comfortable, which, leads to relapse. Any Tips?

    One major thing too when I'm not feeling tempted; I have Obsessive thought in the back of my mind. Like my brain knows I'm trying to overcome this, and keeps remembering my problem. I cannot forget about PMO, especially when I'm browsing the internet. It causes muscle tension on my chest, neck, and cheeks. Any Tips? Anyone else goes through this?
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2014
  2. monachus

    monachus Fapstronaut

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    I only can say that for me meditation helps, especially in this case connected with the body. This could be simply Yoga or stretching. Or this socalled bodyscan, wander with your attention through your body and observe what's there.

    Since you talk about tension - this helps because you start understanding your tension. Tension means, your mind wants to do something, your body reacts accordingly, but you hold back. When you observe this it starts to be interesting. You may even find out that in many cases it's not sex hat you really want, that it's an escape from boredom, loneliness ...

    It is a long way that needs patience and one relapses especially on the first tries. Falling, simply standing up and try again ... No blame, that just makes you do it again...
     
  3. c-l-a-s-h

    c-l-a-s-h Fapstronaut

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    When's the last time you jerked off to porn and an hour after, you felt complete satisfaction?

    Maybe this simple phrase won't work for you, but it works for me.
     
  4. Kenworth_95

    Kenworth_95 Fapstronaut

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    Monachus your explanation is correct. Just like you said the tension I get doesn't always have to do with wanting sex or PMO. I can be surfing the internet without temptation but I guess my brain knows that everytime I fall I used the internet. Although sometimes the tension is directly related to fighting off temptation.

    Meditation how can I start? For a newbie like me? I have heard of it on Facebook in a group I am in, but have not practiced it. Any beginner tips?
     
  5. Kenworth_95

    Kenworth_95 Fapstronaut

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    Any tips on dealing and overcoming Obsessive compulsive disorder? Like when I'm surfing the internet I have the thought of my addiction problem in the back of my mind, and I can't concentrate when I'm reading or watching a video. Its not always temptation that causes the stress, its just the thought of my problem that does not leave me at peace.
     
  6. c-l-a-s-h

    c-l-a-s-h Fapstronaut

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  7. Kenworth_95

    Kenworth_95 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Clash and Monachus. I know if we all could push a button to become free from this, we would all push it. Unfortunately its not that easy.

    Im going to get off topic here, I want to give you guys (including those who are just passing by reading) heads up on things that are happening right now in the world. Right now the U.S.A. top leaders are planning the destruction of this country. They are leading us into more and more debt. They plan an economic collapse. There are several things I would love to explain to you guys. Check out a couple of websites...

    Check out: www.Infowars.com Foodbabe.com

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbvCxMfcKv4 (documentary) By Peter Joseph. Must watch. Explains several of humans problems and solutions.
     
  8. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    The tips on meditation and bodyscan are good advice and if you have a phone etc theres a great app called JKZ Series 1 which contains a good bodyscan meditation (is actually an accompaniment to the classic book 'Full Catastrophe Living' by John Kabat Zinn but the bodyscan is fine on its own if you are so inclined.)

    My own theory on why people who suffer from tension/stress is that they can be particularly prone and susceptible to the temporary relief that ejaculation can offer us (or a puff on a cigarette, that first drink etc) as we can physically feel the tension leaving our minds and bodies but we pay a huge price for taking these shortcuts and we need to start hacking at the roots instead of getting tangled in the branches because its a truly 'tangled web we weave when at first we set out to deceive'! And I know we don't deliberately set out to deceive ourselves but ultimately when we indulge in addictive/repetitive/unwanted behaviours it truly is a terrible form of self deception that once recognised is a cycle we must break once and for all.

    See if these help mate. They're a bit long winded but easy to read and honestly I'm not trying to 'impose' anything but each and every one of these was written from an understanding of how tension blocks us and how the resultant frustration of that can often lead us to quick and easy fixes/releases of that tension. This is very important to understand IMHO. I hope this helps :eek:

    http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthre...d-it-become-a-problem-WHAT-can-we-do-about-it

    http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2430-I-think-therefore-I-fap-(!!)-Dealing-with-withdrawal

    http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2655-The-Way-of-Harmony

    http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?4778-The-Way-of-Peace-OR-The-Soft-Bulletin

    http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2532-Permission-to-Fail
     
  9. Kenworth_95

    Kenworth_95 Fapstronaut

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    Jilted John your correct on the fact that PMO relieves tension, and is self-deception. That is what I'm struggleling with. I know we can all overcome PMO; its only phsycological. ;)
     
  10. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Knowledge is power mate. Keep going!:)
     
  11. Kenworth_95

    Kenworth_95 Fapstronaut

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    Hey JiltedJohn do you have any advice so I can stop deceiving myself?
     
  12. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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